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We're trying to start a family at the minute (OK not right this minute!!) but I'm really concerned about money when you're a stay at home mum. I don't have to work, but I don't know how I'd feel, or how I'd deal with, things out with the normal household expenses. I'm meaning things like birthdays and Christmas and just when you fancy treating yourself to a little something. Do you all work a little part time for those things or ....? Any advice appreciated because I'm struggling to see how it would work for me. Thanks, Em

Family tax credit helps Emma, !! Don't worry, just make your baby and let everything else fall into place afterwards. If we'd thought about any financial implications before either of our girls, we'd probably never of had them, but cut your cloth accordingly and you'll be ok Teri x ps I do work part time!

I agree with Teri, have your family and enjoy. You can only live by your means. Heather

Thanks Heather!! not many people ever agree with me!! T

I used to save up my child benefit which I felt was mine for looking after the children so I didn't feel I had to ask hubby for every little extra! Is that kinda what you meant? Julie xxx

Emma I never worked for 9 years while i had my children, and i would not have change it for the world. What i did was put a little away each week for a rainy day.

I remember it was all a bit scarey, living off one wage, but we managed OK. Later on I took on a cleaning job in the evening for pin money. My daughter is now a single parent, and she is a registered child minder, so she combined both jobs. My grandson is 9 now, and she is in demand. My daughter-in-law has recently presented us with our 2nd granddaughter. She is going back to work as a hairdresser on a Saturday (as she did after the first) very soon. Good luck, it will all work out, and congratulations on starting the family....

I save the family allowance too, its surprising how it adds up, Teri x

many years ago I also saved child benefit (such as it was then), i also took small part time jobs like party plan selling, avon type selling, I bought a knitting machine and sold children's sweaters etc. you could do a boot sale occasionally, it all mounts up, utilise any talents you have to make money. don't put off having children because you think you will miss the money to spend on yourself. have you discussed this with your husband. he might agree to give you a small allowance monthly for your own use. Ann Glos

Hi Emma, my oldest child is nearly 21 now, don't know where the time went. We didn't need two wages either although things were tight and when she was almost 1 yr old I got a Saturday job in a shop which helped with money, got me out , gave Dad some fun and gave me a social life! I didn't do any more hours until my third was at full time school, nearly 7 years later, because small children go down with so many coughs and colds that you want to stay home with them. My youngest is now 14 and I work 5 mornings in a school so I am home with him most of the holidays. I chose to be my children's main carer and I'm glad I did, you just have to go without all the treats but I wouldn't have missed their daily lives for anything. So enjoy your babies when they arrive!

Emma its amazing how you manage, ok all those great holidays might go so might a lot of other things, but believe me there's nothing like being at home with you baby, anyway in 4/5 yrs you could go out part time, give it a go. Good Luck here's hoping Norah

Emma Things like birthdays and christmas presents can be bought during the year when you spot bargains and then stored away. People laugh at me for doing this but it really does work as I can sit back in December and watch everyone else run around like headless chickens trying to get everything while still making ends meet. Don't use the expensive clothes shops for your child (except maybe for special occasions) as they grow too fast. Try places like Asda, La Redoute, Peacocks etc. Don't be averse to checking out charity shops either especially for baby clothes. So many babies get so many clothes as newborn gifts then they end up in the charity shops still unworn and in their original wrappers. Even the pound shops have decent clothes. When Brendan was 12 days old I bought some shirts at 2 for £1.00 which he is just growing into now, he is 5. One thing I would advise though is never to compromise on shoes, always get their feet measured. Claim everything but everything you are entitled to such as Working Tax Credit/Child Tax Credit. Don't feel guilty - it's yours. Good luck for trying for your baby, and when it does arrive - enjoy!! Dianne xx

Thank you all so much, You're all right I'm sure but I can't help worrying. Keith's clearly said - umpteen times - that I'll just have to take what I need when I need it - if I want a new ....... just get it. It's not an issue as far as he's concerned. I just feel like I'll probably feel a bit hopeless when the time comes - if I depend on him for everything. My worry is more towards the birthday's etc. - having to put bit's of housekeeping money away to save up for his presents, kind of thing. At the minute I think that seems a bit rotten of me - save up HIS money to buy HIS present !! lol Don't think we'd be entitled to the tax credit thing - but don't know - his salary is quite high, so I'd have to look into that. Em x

Have another talk to him, explain that you dread losing your independance, if you have your own account ask him if you can pay £10 a month into it from the joint account, put the child allowance in there. start saving a bit before you leave work so you have built a bit up. Don't be deceitful about it, tell him why you are doing it, if he is reasonable he will understand. Ann Glos

Emma, my husband earns a good wage, but we are still entitled to the minimum of tax credit, so will you be. Heather

I look at is as my hubby gives me housekeeping ie 'paying' me to do a job. Looking after the house and home. If I save on the housekeeping eg spend less on the groceries, I keep the difference. I also did some book keeping from home, Avon ect for a bit of pocket money because I felt mean taking 'his' money out of the joint account to buy him a birthday present. Now I do a few hours in a chemist every week. Your own system will fall into place. Honestly. Good luck! ;o) Claire xx

I did Betterware for 3 years until I had my second son (he then screamed as soon as I put him in the pram!!) So I gave that up as soon as I could and got a little part-time job at Sainsbury's in the evenings. Things do just fall into place and you'll find your own way of doing things. Good luck Julie xx

I think the limit for the tax credit is about £52K isn't it?

Emma I earned stacks more when I worked full-time (before kids). But a lot of my salary went on paying for a season ticket into London, working lunches, drinks after work, posh work clothes etc. I was a full-time mum until my younger child started school. I did a bit of colour clinic/makeup and selling cleaning products and a bit of proof-reading for an ex-work colleague to earn a bit. Now I earn peanuts (though I love my job). Husband earns quite a bit, but no jobs are secure these days and he has been made redundant a couple of times, which was a little scary, though in each case he'd got another job within a month. I could work full time and earn more, but I'd probably be paying for a cleaner to do the house! Try saving your salary into a separate account and seeing if you can live off your husband's earnings. Then your savings will be a handy nest-egg when the baby comes. nell