General Chat

if you have a baby then youll find away of managing birthdays christmas they are all a stress but youll cope, i hope you have patter of tiny feet soon, make the most of practising cos the little darlins wont let you when they arrive ! lol

Emma If I'd waited until I felt financially secure I'd only have had my first child a couple of years ago! Eldest was unplanned but I gave up my job when she was born almost 20 years ago and haven't been back to work since, although I did do secretarial work from home on and off for several years to provide a few extras. We've had some very lean years, nearly had to sell the house twice and holidays were non existent and then very basic and unexotic until a few years ago. I'm very fortunate, my youngest is 12 now and I could return to work but don't want to unless something turns up that really appeals. Meanwhile, hubby retires in 5 years so perhaps I'll return to work then! Go for it, save what you can until the first bundle comes along and then just enjoy it! Daisy

Hi all, It's not at all the fact that we would struggle financially, the worry is more towards getting my head around being dependant for everything - I don't know how to put into words what exactly my thoughts are!! We wouldn't qualify for any tax credit help - so if I want to save something up for presents etc. I think I'll have to put housekeeping away. I'm not aloud (that sounds really bad!) to do a bit of cleaning or ironing or shop work for extra money. I really appreciate all your thoughts ladies - you've been a great help. I know people who have a very comfortable life of raising a family on one good salary, but asking the women how they deal with it is a bit too personal face to face. It maybe doesn't bother them being entirely look after but I don't want to pry - hence asking on here. x

Hi Emma It's a bit like when you you are retired like we are, and no independent wage or spends, you will be ok and it sound's like Keith won't be questioning all the time what you are spending money on!!! Good luck by the way.

Hello Emma, I think I understand what you mean and I've just had a chat with my OH and this is how we deal with the situation. When I gave up my job to have children it was a joint decision that we took for our family. We both knew that with one of us at home our life would be easier and we'd have more time at the weekends to be together. We felt that our quality of life would be better, even if financially things would be more tricky. We see ourselves as a team. OH goes out to work to earn money to feed, clothe and house us, and I stay at home to bring up our children and to look after our house. We have a joint account with two credit cards and we both spend what we want. I look after the accounts for the house. I now do some work from home because I'm lucky enough to have a job that lets me do that, but I've always managed to feel positive about the choice we made and not in the least like a kept woman! Lol! Hope this helps :o) Helenxxx

Hi emma Georgette has siad it all.......... when your a family your a team and there is no You or me. My husband and I are the same ........ we have a joint account and 2 credit crads and every thing comes out of that one pot...... I've ONLY just returned to part time, term time work last year, not for dependence or fincail reasons but my children are now 9 & 14 and there is only so much housework and cooking etc I want to do whilst they are at school. In their younger days , as babies, I had felt a wee bit like you however you'll soon come to know that being a stay at home mum is actually UNDERPAID work LOL!! Although the rewards are amazing!! Much happiness Debi

Emma When the time comes get applying for your Working/Child Tax Credit. I don't quite know how it works as a friend of mine can only get the Child Tax Credit part of it and she's on 22K, with one child. However my cousin and her husband have two children, she is the head of the Home Care Service for the elderly and disabled etc, and he is a Building Society Manager, and they get it in full. I am hazarding a guess at their income but I bet I'm not far wrong if I guess in the region of 50K. Get applying, they can only say yay or nay!! Dianne xx

Emma - sorry I misunderstood your meaning I think but I agree with Georgette. Hubby and I are a team. He earns it I spend it! lol Seriously, he earns OUR money and I look after OUR children and OUR home. We are both dependent on his job but I don't have to ask for anything. We discuss major purchases and the rest we trust each other on. My ex husband demanded to know to the last penny how much I spent every day even though he was the student and I was earning the money. I never resented earning for both of us. He is a very clever man and his studies were very important. He couldn't afford me the same respect though and insisted on controlling every aspect of our lives. Don't know if any of that helps but if you and your OH have a great relationship and respect and value each other then he won't feel like the breadwinner and you won't feel dependent on him. Daisy