General Chat

I see from time to time people lambasting mums who choose to stay at home to bring up their children. Why is that? What is wrong with wanting to be their for your kids?

I realise in this day and age there is enormous financial pressure on mums to get back to work as soon as possible after having babies, and I am not saying there is anything wrong with that.

Times have changed though. When I had my kids, there was still the choice to stay at home at least until the children were at school full time. That's what I did. Nobody thought any the worse of us for it.

These days it seems that stay at home mums are to be frowned on, told to get a job and a really don't think that is right.

Quite agree TW

Let's face it - our parents were alot poorer finacially than we are today, and i bet like myself, most of our Mum's stayed home to bring us up ? ? ?


My Mum didn't go back to work until I was 7 or 8 yrs old ........


Maybe the ones saying 'get a job' are the ones that can't afford to stay home so vent their spleen cos they are envious of those that can ??????????

That's very likely McAnne.

Personally, I admire anyone who can forfiet their financial security and do without to be there for their kids. That's not to say that those mums who go back to work are bad mums, not at all. It's not cheap to bring children up, far from it.

I work BUT REFUSE to be at work when my kids are at home ....

I,ve been told many times that I should leave them to get on with it ....but please tell me why I should ....

They are 13 and 16 now the other two are away now ...but I still dont see why I need to work if we can cope on the money we have

Oh ................the problem is I,m now "deemed" to "stupid" to go to work ........coz I havent !!!

When I had mine I had no choice I had to work part time only of course and always worked round him as he was the bread winner...I s'pose I didnt have to work if I didnt want holidays and beable to run a car and personally I would of gone barmy if I didnt get out away from the family a couple of hours a day as they got older I started to work longer hours at point having 3 part time jobs..but with regards your question no I shouldnt have a problem with it if thats what they wanted to do..

AngieM, my kids are grown up with kids of their own now LOL

My Daughter and my DIL also stay at home too, though DIL does work one day a week, when Dad gets to spend precious time with them too. They are happy well balanced children.

I have to add, its not me who has taken insults on this, but I have seen it done to others who choose to stay at home.

Well said Kemp. It all depends also on how much value you put on material things, having the latest electronics, or the most exotic holidays abroad. But time with the children is something that money just cannot buy. If you are prepared to 'make do and mend' and sacrifice material things for a few years, making your priorities the roof over your head and food on the table, the rewards come later.

I choose to stay at home when we had our 2 they are mine & i wanted to not miss a thing, but now they are older i would love to go back to work, but the thing is who will give me a job so i can still be at home when need be

it makes me laugh that i could get help with child care but can get no help for staying at home though in the long run i'll be saving the government a fortune lol

We do have holidays .....BUT we use YHA which charge about £10.00 per adult per night and £5.00 for the kids .....we get a family room and make do ...they clean it each day ....and you can get a meal or cook your selves ...met some great people and done loads .....IN ENGLAND

But we can get YHA in other countries to ......

I have found that the people who criticise women in regards to whether they are stay at home mums or go out to work are generally other women. We seem to be our own worse enemy.
Sue

You have a very good point there Julie. That is another reason I didn't work as my kids got a little older, mostly because back then there was no help with childcare. I couldn't afford the rates even childminders were asking, because it was very close to what I would have been earning anyway, making it not a financially viable choice. I would have been working to pay someone else to look after my kids.

I must admit, when I did get back to work on a part time basis, I had no problem finding a job to suit the hours I needed, though I did have to be prepared to forego jobs that I had done before.

Well i'm not a Mum - but i can see both sides of the coin .............

And it must be very frustrating for those who held jobs prior to motherhood, and who have skills and knowledge now going unused due to blinkered employers

Absolutely McAnne,

I hope I've made it clear I can also see both sides of the coin and I am not having a go at either stay at home or working mums.

I am having a go (if you like) at those who put them down.

I wouldnt change a thing...the only reason I work now is for roo...ermm layers done lol I enjoy my job and its an added bonus I get paid every month for it..

I can see both sides of it as when I was a single parent I did work, mainly nights to provide for my children. Now im a stay at home mum and although I do miss working as my job was fulfilling and I got to meet lots of people, it is now more important that my children have someone to come home to and im here for them should they need me.

personally i choose to stay at home with my children for the simple fact i choose to have them why should i leave them with someone lse when i dont have to
imagine missing all there firsts to work that must be awful for people to miss them special moments that you can cherish
as soon as baby satan is full time i will be going back to work hopefully in a scholl so the hours and holidays are the same as the children
xxx

I'm a stay at home mum and I have no guilt about the decision I have made. We struggle financially from time to time but I figure I won't be able to buy these years back in the future so I live with it........... I love it that I can attend anything at the school with no worries about booking time off work etc. My children are my priority. Always have been always will be. My OH works hard and pays his taxes to support us.....so we're not sponging from anyone or expecting the state to support our lifestyle.

If other mums are happy to work that's great for them. I don't judge anyone for the way they organise their family life. It's all about personal choice really isn't it? xx

I went to work when my youngest was starting senior school, it was to make ends meet at the time, my hours were from 9am till 2pm they wasnt on there own i went out with them, and home before they come back, the six weeks holidays were tough my oldest had left school the same year, i had good neighbours for the then, not knocking those who want to work, i want to be there for mine to come home to......
my daughter has been force out to work, or lose money, if it wasnt for me having my granddaughter, she would go to empty house, and her mom is not home till 7-30pm thats four hours for her to be on own, she had to take the first job offered,it gets me when those who have no commitments can stay on the dole .........

** sits down dripping in gold and diamonds **

Reading some of your posts I would if I am as maternal as I thought I was....

Hi Teresa,

I was at home for my 5 until they began school although I taught music from home and combined it with family life.

For the past 3 years I have worked about 25 hours during the week,I dont work in the holidays.Yes, I have to get the children picked up 2 or 3 days a week, but i always take them to school.

Quite simply, I cant afford not to work.

Caz x