General Chat

Keith - Is it in a cemetary or a Churchyard?
You will need to contact them anyway before doing anything. They may have a list of stonemasons that they have approved...then get a stone mason to look at it first & give you an estimate of cost of repair/replacement. (sometimes it works out cheaper to replace than repair)
Then contact all your siblings to see if they are willing to contribute...it is always better if you know how much you are talking about.
We had a large choice of stones/prices when we got Mum's earlier this year.

Whoever is actually responsible, I think you need to have a family discussion, about the state of the head-stone. Find out everyone's feelings first and, then, take it from there.

Any one of your family might think it high-handed to do something that they didn't know about, until they visited the grave.

I was worried sick when a report appeared in a newspaper saying that the Cemetery, where my family were buried had been desecrated. I made a special visit to find out exactly what had happened. Our grave was O.K., but it is worrying that this should happen, at all.

The lease is for 99 years because the law states that after 100 years the plot may be re-used. In our larger cemeteries this is not a problem and graves are not usually re-used except for family members. However over the centuries in small village churchyards, graves were re-used time and time again and this can be seen by the fact that in many villages, (and some towns), the level of the ground in the churchyard is several feet higher than the adjacent area. There is a simple reason for this: the plots were used many times over the centuries. If we take a small village with a Norman church which was built almost 1000 years ago as an example:

The English churchyard was often refered to as "God's half-acre", because it was, in most villages, about half an acre (2420 square yards, 21780 square feet).

The average grave plot, including spaces between graves is 7 feet by 3 feet, i.e. 21 square feet. 21780 divided by 21 equals just over 1000 burial plots in our churchyard.
If we conservatively estimate that the average number of deaths in the village was one every 2 months, or 6 per year, then in 1000 years there were 6000 burials in a churchyard of 1000 plots. So each plot has been used 6 times. Over the centuries the level of the ground was therefore raised to a higher level than the surrounding area.

Dizzi's correct, you need the grave owner's permission, it's their property.

DEPEND
JUST SPOKE TO UNDERTAKERS

WHO PAID FOR GRAVE AT THE BEGINING NOT
HEADSTONE..
THEY HAVE TOTAL SAY..
UNLES THEY SIGN OVER TO KEITH
COST ME £25
A THEN £1.000

Wouldn't a son be a direct next of kin?

YOU CANT
ONLY DIRECT NEXT OF KIN CAN DO THAT

If it were me, I'd have my siblings share the cost.
Deb

Keith talk to a stonemason, then you can tell your siblings how much it will cost. Will be worth having it done, if only for your peace of mind..............


Glynisxxx

relationship with my DAD


PMSL I HATE HIM

My mum bought one 36yrs ago, and it's till there, with my mums name engraved on it now. I think it is a family thing to replace it, not one member on there own.

....it depends on the relationship you have with your Dad Keith......if I were you, I would prepare myself to foot the bill, then I would not be disappointed....

got 1st email back


looks like dads not paying

what do you think will happen to it do you think it will go to granchildren for them to up keep never thought to ask

always wondered what happends to the plot you have brought dad was cremated and theres room for mum in there but I'm sure I read plot is only ours for 99 years wil have to have a read of it

emails have now been sent to rest of family

there is room for 3 more in grave

am not in a hurry to go in it myself lol

you could ask how they feel about a whip round, cos if you dont and go and do it yourself that cause somthing else.. like why did'nt you ask me... i know cos i have 5 sisters lol
Sorry to hear you lost your mum at such a young age RIP
ann x

I would try repair first
then check with the other members of my family (if they wanted to help out then good) then I'd go ahead and replace it
xx

I think you should ask them, then your father and see what the out come is