General Chat

I just want to say a big Thankyou to you all.......have not seen all your replys until now as not had any time over weekend to use pc! (sick 2 year old) Thankyou all so much...its so nice to know that there is support on here and you are all lovely people. Have calmed down a bit since friday but i am still not happy about the way he treats his children, thanks for listening to me moan!! Emma xx

It's not just fathers, when I was 9 back in the 50's come home from school and my mother had left, did not see her for 5 yrs. eventually had some sort of relationship and when I was 17 she bought me a car for £100. Later in life at the age of 50 I asked her why she left me, all she said was 'well I did bye you a car' didn't seem to get the plot that I would rather have had her. Carol

I have already added a thread totally agreeing with the anger 100% but can I just say that sometimes the boot is on the other foot my hubbys ex was great for ringing ten mins before he was due to collect the children and say oh something has come up, or we have got to go somewhere grrr. But I do totally agree with everything said on this thread, just thought the boys needed sticking up for. xxhugxx

Emma, you're right to be angry and he should be ashamed at letting your little one down. My ex son-in-law has similar horrible traits and I've told him it'll all come back to bite his b*m in the future - the kids won't want to know him....and it's already happening. Jan xx

Pig definately. What's more important an unrelated kid or his own daughter? His new 'relationship' won't last but his relationship with his own child/children should last until his death (onless he carries on like this). Jacquie

Hi Em I have very similar probs with my ex too. I have done everything that the professionals would class as 'right' for the children and most of the time it ends up being thrown in my face. I am fed up with all of it. Take care. Hugs to you both I know what you are going through and you are not wrong. Take care Tracy x

My Ex son in law acts exactly in the same way, promises things but they never happen.He told my 2 grandchildren that he would take them on holiday ,it lasted half a day and he brought them back. Two weeks later when the eldest rang him to tell him their GCSE results a woman answered and said 'oh he's outside playing with the children'. He had taken his lady friend and her children to Rhyl for a holiday He thinks that they both have an attitude because they won't accept the new family but as they both say they want to spend time with him not his lady friend so now hasn't he had any contact with them for 6 months He thinks the eldest should be working so he hasn't paid any maintainence for weeks So know I don't think you are being unreasonable Bren

It makes me soooooo mad when I read things like this, some men are just complete s***s when it comes to their children and you have every right to be p**d off. My ex was Mr Unreliable when our son was younger. His social life, the football and whatever piece of skirt he had on his arm at the time always took priority over Scott and I was always the one who had to explain that Daddy wasn't having him this weekend. I could write a book on the excuses I used to try and spare his feelings. On the other hand, my husband has 2 children from his previous marriage who he would kill to be able to see. His ex wife has refused him any contact since he met me 5 years ago. We've seen solicitors and been through family court but every time we think we're getting close to a solution and a contact order, she moves house and it's another 6 months before she can be traced and the whole process starts again. The children are now 12 and 10 and he clings to the hope that one day they will come looking for him. It breaks my heart to see his distress every birthday and Christmas when he can't even send a card and a present cos we have no idea where they live.

Don't start me off!! Had a big row with mine last night too. Why is it that WE always feel guilty when HE lets them down?? Selfish, self-centred, clueless, thoughtless, oblivious to other peoples feelings - I could go on ranting all day! Maz. XX

As for the naughty schoolgirl - where was her mother in all this?

My ex was supposed to take the boys for a weeks holiday and it was agreed in the high court.There were the boys all packed and waiting for him to come and get them and time was getting on.Eventually the older lad rang and asked why he hadn't come down yet and when was he coming for them.He told them he was busy and would come for them on the Monday (this was Friday) instead.My lads broke their hearts and we were left to deal with the tears tantrums and hurt.Needless to say I didn't allow the boys to go up on the Monday............. This happens all the time and the courts don't want to know.I think it is a disgrace that children are allowed to be messed about like this so often.It causes long term damage to them. Elizabeth.

Emma I agree with Georgina - don't tell the children when he promises to see them - there's no disappointment but if he does bother to turn up it's a bonus for them. Debby

ex husband needs a good kicking you dont do that to your own child. ok so he was going to sort out a problem but he should have arranged it for after. money dosn't buy love. your daughter will remember things like this and not want to see him then he will wonder why and blame you. Been down this route myself only on other end he had children and forbad anyone to tell me anything about them schools,dr and anyone of importance to them, it wasn't untill later that my children found out they thought I didn't want them which wasnt true. Josieanne

Emma I understand your anger and you are right to feel that way! I had the same experience many times when my daughters were younger. I too made excuses for ex-hubby time and time again, I realise now I did the wrong thing, unwittingly I put false ideas in their heads, which gave them some illusion to cling to. It's since they have both become adults that they have both said they wished I'd have been totally honest with them, as this would have helped them accept what he was 'really like' from a young age. Of course it would have been painful for them to hear that 'Daddy' has lost interest, but in the long run no more painful than them living each day under a false illusion and being continually let down by him! Sadly for them he eventually severed all contact! Best wishes Lib:)) PS Forgot to mention, next time he lets her down, phone him and let him explain his self to your daughter, that way he can't put the responsibility onto you!

your ex isnt a pig....hes a total b****rd!! same as mine....just had a show down with mine and he dont give ajot about his kids...... you are better off without him babe x x jill x

Emma, how the hell does he think money's going to make up for that? He's putting his girlfriend's daughter before his own. Sorry though, I can't agree with you that he's a pig .......... I respect pigs too much. That's an insult to them. x

You are quite right to be angry. Your little girl must have been so hurt, and she should be his PIORITY............... She still has you and you will always be there. Deanna XX

No your not overeacting Emma. So money makes up for everything does it. NOT Germaine x

Emma,What a terrible thing for a father to do,you are totally right in being 'p--d off'with him. You can,t buy off childrens hurt. May I suggest taking a few Slices of 'Ham or Bacon'fom certain areas to make up for the hurt he caused your Daughter. Hal.

You have every right to be angry for her. Make sure he knows that every time he misses out on doing something with/for her, he's losing a part of her that he'll never have again. One day she'll turn around and say she doesn't want him there at all. Money does NOT make up for not being there.