General Chat

UPDATE My friend today has received a letter inviting her to attend 'Parenting Classes', with her 'current partner'. She has not had a partner of any description since her son was conceived fifteen years ago!! This letter has obviously crossed with the one from the Psychologist, inviting her to attend a meeting, to learn more about Tourette's. I told her I have a big pile of old mags, and access to the Internet, if she wants to know anymore. Her son has been diagnosed as 'Mildly autistic with Tourette's Syndrome'. Fortunately, the only symptom he DOES NOT (as yet) have, is the swearing - although he apparently shouts 'inappropriate' words at school.This lack of sswearing is apparently what made the diagnosis 'so difficult'. From being a lonely little boy with no friends, he has suddenly come to the attention of the Bad Lot at school, who of course do not understand his condition, merely think he is wonderfully rebellious, and they egg him on to ever greater and more dangerous deeds. He is having a sexual relationship with the local bike, and my friend's entreaties to him (AND her) to at least use condoms, are falling on deaf ears. Although I have not said this to her yet, I feel that perhaps a short spell of respite care would be good for both of them, but doubt if he will get it, unless it is in a Police Cell, which is where he is heading. I have told her to tackle her MP about this if she does not get help fast. It is quite disgraceful - what on earth do these so-called Professionals DO all day? Olde Crone

Tourettes has such classic symptoms and is so hard to deal with. i worked with autistic people all my working life and a lad there developed Tourettes, he had to go into residential care , his parents couldn't cope with the Touretts 'bit' although had coped so well with his Autism for many years. It is a very difficult thing to deal with in society.Cant exactly hang a label ropund his neck saying ''I didnt mean to tell you to F** *ff' , i have Tourettes syndrome'' can you? I agree, the doctor should be put to the test of a higher authority jess x

Olde Crone I am sorry to read your friend and her son have not had the support and help they needed. I agree Jacquie the Doctor should be reported, but I don't think that will help in the end and they normally get out of these things anyway. Marjorie you are a great friend and at least your friend has you to support her I am sure that means loads when things get so bad. Take care and I wish your friend all the best. Love Pat x

The minute I read about the barking incident I was saying to myself Tourettes.... this is terrible the 'Doctor' should be reported!!! Jacquie xxxx

Sorry Crone, but going off on a tangent here, Blooody doctor's think they know it all. Son was 2 and an bit, got yellew spot , type blisters on back of hand, Doc said Herpes known as the POX Virus, do the norm, seperate towel etc. At 3 + he got again BUT ON THE EYE, saw different Doc, she asked was he an only child, I said yes, she said 'YES, PARANOID MOTHER' as there is no such thing as the POX Virus and said what Med school did he go to to! Next day mad dash to A&E to get the eye checked, they did the dyei n the eye, and stated that he could have been blinded. He is not allowed in school now if it happens, as it is highly contagious he has to take tablets, which do not comfirm to their timetable, 5 a day!. I just get so aggertated with these people who think they know best Sorry but wound up after reading this thread, as one person could have blinded my son all because she thought she knew it all! Kim

Thankyou all so much for your kind words and sympathy - I was worried that I had just been having a tantrum on my friend's behalf.I am going to print out this thread for my friend and encourage her to make a big fuss at school, for whatever help may be available. Sadly, there does not seem to be much in the way of effective treatment for Tourette's, other than Halperidol, which 'dumbs them down' (stops them being a nuisance, in other words). But, if a proper diagnosis had been made years earlier, perhaps my friend would have received some kind of PHYSICAL support with this - she has been at her wit's end, literally banging her head on the wall. The only good thing to have come out of this - I have told her she can now chuck her 'BAD MOTHER' badge in the bin - she's been wearing it for 14 years. Olde Crone

TELL ME ABOUT IT,THEY USED TO SAY MY SON WAS IDLE,AND A NUSANCE IN CLASS,AT 14 1/2 HE WAS TESTED AND THEY SAID HE HAD MAJOR LEARNING PROBS,AND A LOW LEARNING ABILITY,HE WAS TOLD HE COULD HAVE SPECIAL NEEDS HELP,AFTER ALL THAT TIME AND NO HELP HE TOLD THEM WHERE TO STICK IT,HE WAS PROMPTLY SUSSPENDED,AFTER THAT I TOOK HIM OUT OF SCHOOL AND ON A ONE 2 ONE BASIS HELPED HIM SIT HIS EXAMS,HIS SCORES WERE,NT GOOD BUT HE DID THEM,XX JOY

Know exactly how you feel. Took a so called 'Doctor' 23 years to diagnose one of my rellies with Tourettes and he had the nerve to be just as patronising. What has also irked me is the length of time it took to diagnose my niece as Autistic. She is now 7 years old and has been like this for over 5 years.

I would like to know why the school didn't pick this up as well!! SENCO's are paid a lot of money to help statemented children, unfortunately schools are reluctant to statement children as it could affect their league table 'status'. When I spent a year as a LSA in a Secondary school, I identified at least 10 children in year 7 who needed extra help, and were eventually identified as needing a statement. They had 'slipped by' in primary school - or in other words had had 6 years of 'coping' hell, and were about to spend another 5 years of worse hell. Needless to say, the headmaster, backed by the SENCO, didn't appreciate my 'ability' and, due to pressure I had to leave. There's always a reason why a child is'naughty', and the Education Authority is always quick to blame the single parent, yet when my daughter was 8, I was a LSA at her primary school and the goverment were onto a major slagging off of children of single parents, blaming them for the 'lowering of school standards', the extra funding needed for LSA's etc, so we did a study. There were 10 children statemented, for various reasons including behaviour, at this school at the time. All but one came from a two parent family!!!! The problem is, extra funding for schools is dictated by the number of free school meals - usually taken by children from single parents. It is then presumed that as the funding is generated by these children they must be the ones receiving it - NOT TRUE!!!! But it gives the government and Education Authority (who should know better but unfotunately don't like the idea of the 'nuclear family' being a problem) a free hand to slag single parents off! maggie Glad to get that off her chest, and feeling great sympathy for your friend and her son, and anger at the poxy system!!

Hi Olde Crone. I was laughed at by a speech therapist when my son was 4 - I suggested he might have Asperger's. This year he has been diagnosed with it. Luckily she was the only one who couldn't see it - all the other professionals we have dealt with - including the school - have been very good. Your friend should contact the Department of Education (not sure of the up-to-date name) and ask for a copy of the Special Needs Code of Practice, which sets out the standards that schools and LEA's should adhere to. It gives a proper timescale for obtaining statements. I would think that if the school get their finger out and apply immediately, there is a chance of having it in place by Feb half-term. Anything is better than nothing. She needs to corner the school's SENCO (special needs co-ordinator) and get/give everything in writing, keep all reports etc. Tell your friend that she should make the school aware that she knows her rights and will not rest until he gets the help he needs. Once you have a statement then there should be transitional help for the move to further education or the workplace. Get her to have a look at this site www(.)tsa(.)org(.)uk/welcome(.)asp - the tourette's syndrome association uk - and contact them for advice. She needs to channel her anger now into a fight for the help he needs for his future. Please wish her all the best from me. Maz. XX

your absolutely right,if 'OCD' had been diagnosed years ago,it would have been treated,and would not now be a fully blown illness,which it is...the problem now is that treatment will take a long time,it means continual logs being kept,and as for medication,well that is basically 'trial and error'. bryan.

Like Jill, as soon as I read the symptoms I thought of Tourettes. Whhere do these people qualify if lay people recognise symptoms they don't. I would like to think that smeone will take him to task over this but i bet they wont. And anyway that is not going to help the young lad. I hope there is some treatment he can have to help him. Ann Glos

Olde Crone Curiously enough, my husband and I were talking earlier about someone we know with Tourette's. I agree its maddening. I work in a school and I think I probably know as much about some children I work with - if not more - than the ed psych who pops in when she can manage it to see a child on its own for a few minutes. It makes me cross because the earlier help is provided the easier and better life is for everyone. But it is hard to get help, huge waiting lists for the ed psych, for speech & language therapy, for appointments at the child development clinic. I've seen a child come to our school with 7 HOURS statemented time, because her parents kicked up a stink. This child did have problems, but we have others at school who have far worse difficulties who get no support at all. nell

As soon as you started to describe the symptoms....Tourettes was the first thing I thought of!! Unbeleivable it took them so long!!! I sincerely hope that they all now get the support and help that they have needed for so very long Jill x

Bryan In my £1-from-the-carboot-medical book, published 25 years ago, it says 'When OCD develops in early childhood, accompanied by facial tics and other aberrant behaviour, a diagnosis of Tourett'es Syndrome should be considered' Another child failed by 'The System' (for which we all pay) Olde Crone

My thoughts are with your friend and her son. R.B.xxx

This doesn't surprise me at all. When my youngest daughter was 14, she's now 34, we finally got to see the school psychologist. I was convinced that she was dyslexic but we were dismissed with, mothers suffering depression & that is why daughter is disruptive & her writing is atrocious. When she was nearly 18 & signing on, the DSS sent her for tests, surprise, surprise, she is dyslexic. Could have saved a lot of anguish if the correct diagnosis had been made when she was a child. Vivienne

My friend has already been told that her son is unlikely to get a 'Statement of Special Needs' as this takes 'rather a long time' and he will almost be out of the school system by then.I absolutely dread to think what will become of him - he is a big lad at fourteen and his hormones have kicked in, big-style. Looking in the library today, I also realised, by the description of 'Classic Autism' that another child I knew about 30 years ago was suffering from this - apparently 'tippy-toe' walking and hand-flapping are classic signs of Autism. I have often wondered what happened to him. Olde Crone

Don't know what to say. At leasthe canget help now,you've been a true friend to them. jacquie XX

That is so sad and I too would be angry. My friend is having major problems with her daughter at the moment and has asked to see the school pyschologist - same problem - the waiting list is rather long so meanwhile her daughter has been excluded on numerous occasions - not a good thing to be happening as she is in her GCSE years. She was told that if she had been a single parent she would have had help a lot faster - that statement itself infuriates me but as the child is from a home of 2 happily married parents and a stable environmnent help will be harder to find. What difference does it make whether the child has one or two parents if their behaviour is to an extent where it is frightening? Debby