General Chat

See below in a feather-spitting minute or two.

My friend, who is a single mother, has a son aged 14. She has brought him up single-handedly, with lots of help from her lovely Mum. Since early childhood, her son has been 'difficult' and as the years went on his behaviour became increasingly bizarre - washing his hands up to 50 times an hour, endlessly spitting, interspersed with bouts of crying, terrible behaviour etc. She has been back and forth to the Doctors, nothing done. Absolutely at her wits end, she demanded to see the School Psychologist. There was a ten-month waiting list. When she finally saw him, the diagnosis was that he was a Very Naughty Boy, with a Very Bad Mother. Her mother was also involved in this 'Family Dynamic' and this lovely, 71-year-old lady was closely questioned about her marital relationship with her husband! They were all sent away with a Star Chart, and my friend was told: to be more strict/not so strict, not punish/punish etc. Meanwhile, the problem got worse and he had facial tics and was barking like a dog for hours on end. Something struck a chord in me and I asked her if anyone had ever suggested he had Tourette's Syndrome? I found an article in a mag, cut it out and sent her off to the Psychologist with it. He laughed and said 'Is your friend medically qualified? No, I thought not. You let me do the diagnosis my dear'. He has now come to the attention of the Police three times in three months - smashing a shop window, stealing and riding a motorbike up the bypass and setting off fire alarms at school. Yesterday, this fourteen-year-old boy has finally been diagnosed with - Tourette's Syndrome!!! I am so so mad about this - if I, with my pile of Bella magazines and an old medical book, could diagnose this seven years ago, why has it taken the £65K-a-year Psychologists so long? Olde Crone - really, really angry.

That's terrible. He should be reported to whatever 'body' you report them too. At the very least his work should be investigated. Doesn't sound like he should be let near any vulnerable person.

Because they dont like diagnosing.......in case you get benefits....i know.xxxx

Yes I would be angry too . This sort of thing happens so often. My Mum fell once the doctor said oh she hasn't broken anything she would cry with pain. Cutting a long story short she had broken her hip ended up in hospital for 2 month and couldn't have it fixed. She never walked again. At the time my Dad was dying i went to the doctor to ask for some help. His words. I never forgot them ' Your mother is senile your father dying of cancer. Only God can help you. Needless to say eventually this doctor resigned before he got struck off. He got taken to court in the end. Germaine x

Its a shame its taken this long to get him diagnosed makes my blood boil the way they poo poo people. Lets hope now he gets the understanding he needs.

Oh my,yes,you are spitting and rightly so.That is bloody ridiculous.Things like this make my blood boil.I hope the young lads mother takes this futher.These bloody big wigs think they are the only ones who can tell whats wrong with people and everyone else is stupid.OOOOHHHH ,you have me spitting now as well. Elizabeth.

I would write to this so called Doctor and tell him the outcome of this. Why are Doctors so patronising, they see a child for a few minutes think they know it all (they don't always) and fob you off. In my opinion Mothers know best, they are with there children 24 hours a day, but medics don't seem to listen. I got angry reading this, so how your friend and indeed you feel, I do not know. Sue

And so you should be - I hope your friend gets the help she and the boy both need. Good luck to them both. Keith

as i was reading your thread,my first thought was that the lad was suffering from 'OCD' but now its been diagnosed as tourette's,it's going to be a long hard struggle,and i feel really sorry for the lad,and his mother. bryan.

That is so sad and I too would be angry. My friend is having major problems with her daughter at the moment and has asked to see the school pyschologist - same problem - the waiting list is rather long so meanwhile her daughter has been excluded on numerous occasions - not a good thing to be happening as she is in her GCSE years. She was told that if she had been a single parent she would have had help a lot faster - that statement itself infuriates me but as the child is from a home of 2 happily married parents and a stable environmnent help will be harder to find. What difference does it make whether the child has one or two parents if their behaviour is to an extent where it is frightening? Debby

Don't know what to say. At leasthe canget help now,you've been a true friend to them. jacquie XX

My friend has already been told that her son is unlikely to get a 'Statement of Special Needs' as this takes 'rather a long time' and he will almost be out of the school system by then.I absolutely dread to think what will become of him - he is a big lad at fourteen and his hormones have kicked in, big-style. Looking in the library today, I also realised, by the description of 'Classic Autism' that another child I knew about 30 years ago was suffering from this - apparently 'tippy-toe' walking and hand-flapping are classic signs of Autism. I have often wondered what happened to him. Olde Crone

This doesn't surprise me at all. When my youngest daughter was 14, she's now 34, we finally got to see the school psychologist. I was convinced that she was dyslexic but we were dismissed with, mothers suffering depression & that is why daughter is disruptive & her writing is atrocious. When she was nearly 18 & signing on, the DSS sent her for tests, surprise, surprise, she is dyslexic. Could have saved a lot of anguish if the correct diagnosis had been made when she was a child. Vivienne

My thoughts are with your friend and her son. R.B.xxx

Bryan In my £1-from-the-carboot-medical book, published 25 years ago, it says 'When OCD develops in early childhood, accompanied by facial tics and other aberrant behaviour, a diagnosis of Tourett'es Syndrome should be considered' Another child failed by 'The System' (for which we all pay) Olde Crone

As soon as you started to describe the symptoms....Tourettes was the first thing I thought of!! Unbeleivable it took them so long!!! I sincerely hope that they all now get the support and help that they have needed for so very long Jill x

Olde Crone Curiously enough, my husband and I were talking earlier about someone we know with Tourette's. I agree its maddening. I work in a school and I think I probably know as much about some children I work with - if not more - than the ed psych who pops in when she can manage it to see a child on its own for a few minutes. It makes me cross because the earlier help is provided the easier and better life is for everyone. But it is hard to get help, huge waiting lists for the ed psych, for speech & language therapy, for appointments at the child development clinic. I've seen a child come to our school with 7 HOURS statemented time, because her parents kicked up a stink. This child did have problems, but we have others at school who have far worse difficulties who get no support at all. nell

Like Jill, as soon as I read the symptoms I thought of Tourettes. Whhere do these people qualify if lay people recognise symptoms they don't. I would like to think that smeone will take him to task over this but i bet they wont. And anyway that is not going to help the young lad. I hope there is some treatment he can have to help him. Ann Glos

your absolutely right,if 'OCD' had been diagnosed years ago,it would have been treated,and would not now be a fully blown illness,which it is...the problem now is that treatment will take a long time,it means continual logs being kept,and as for medication,well that is basically 'trial and error'. bryan.