General Chat

... Richard - my best friend, who was my partner for 8 yrs, and who has been my rock since my break up in July ..... UPDATED 3/11 ON MY FIRST POSTING BELOW

Two years ago had some benign lumps removed - he has been back today for a new lump to be checked and it is malignant!! They seem hopeful and he is already on drugs for it - has a blood test tomorrow - MRI scan next week! He has 3 young adult children to break the news to - is convinced 'this is it' and I cannot do a thing to help him. He wont even let me go with him to the hospital as moral support - he is such a stubborn man, and thinks I should be worrying about my own 'far more important' problems - a mere relationship break up. I held it together for an hour talking to him on the phone, listening to him laugh and cry, despairing over how to tell his children, who he will be seeing on Friday for his own birthday celebrations - he also has the anniversary of his father's death tomorrow. I am in pieces - torn emotionally between my sorrow for him and his illness, and my distress of possibly losing the man who idolised me but couldn't give me the future he knew I wanted - instead he has given me the next best thing - his unwanning support, friendship and love. Bless him - I don't know what I will do without him - I can't stop crying .......... **UPDATED 3/11* Richard had to go back for another blood test today - he phoned me afterwards to say they are going to retest the lump as they are not happy with the result! It seems they are now, not convinced that it is malignant as the original result was only marginally on the malignant side - now he has to have more bloods done and wiil have to wait about another week before we know the updated result. xx

He won't let me be there for him tho - he deals with things on his own - but he is always there for me.

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I'm here for you if you ever want to chat. love and hugs <<<HUG>>> becx

Ann, I will keep my fingers crossed for your friend, I hope it all works out ok, but while you wait for the news of how he is, here are some (((((HUGS))))) to help. Bev

((((((Hugs)))))) XX BC

Anne, I am so sorry to hear your news. Please try to be positive. This may not be anywhere near as bad as you both think. It is a terrible shock to hear this sort of news and sometimes it takes a little while to assimulate all the information. My thoughts are with you both. Jean x.

Anne can you not go to him and just fling your arms round him. Might help you both.

Oh Anne So sorry to hear this - just tell him you are there for him whenever he needs you - that's all you can do. I hope you can keep yourself together - I know it's hard but come on here as often as you need - there are peeps on here always ready to give you a shoulder to cry on. Take care Debby

Is he married Anne ?, If so can his wife offer support also ? Hopefully sought help once he noticed the lump, like you tend to do once youve found a couple in the past. Be positive, now they know what they are dealing with, they can treat it. Elaine x

Anne Whether or not you are there for him is your choice, not his. His choice is whether or not he turns to you, but I am sure that he knows you are there for him. This is all very sudden and a big shock for him and you. A few months down the road, he may well want your support. Sometimes we just have to 'be' for people, and let them come to us. nell

hi babe,he has the best to give him support ,YOU.be strong he needs your strength,when you get home come and scream at me ,ive broad shoulders ,anytime no problem,were all here for u lovey ,just shout ok xxxxxxxxxjoy

Thnaks all :O) Am hoping it's no where near as bad as we are obviously both imagining - fingers crossed. Unfortunately he is a person who closes himself off and prefers to deal with it in his own way - so he wont let me go to him just now. We went thru some rough times together with his problems over family and health etc - which is what pushed us apart in the end because he shut me out completely. He knows now what he lost in me, but we are past that now - we just love each other dearly as friends - but it is so hard just now. Elaine - no he is not married - just there on his own. xxx

Anne I’m so sorry to hear of your troubles and your friends illness. Is there any way you can just turn up when he goes to the hospital? Is where he’s going close to you, can you get the time off? He might be annoyed at first to see you there, but if you tell him it means as much to you to be there as it does him he might mellow. Tell him you’re going to sit right outside the door to his treatment room and if he tries to avoid you by sneaking out the back way you’re going to hunt him down like the dog that he is! Make him laugh, a positive attitude is very important for him and those close to him right now. Things can be cured and a persons mental health goes a long way to help their physical health. Sending you hugs and good wishes. Brenda xx

Thinking of you Anne. Hugs (((((X)))))

Brenda Thanks :O) - I know what he is like, he's a cunning so and so - he wont tell me exactly which day he is going - this was all supposed to be happening tomorrow, but he got called in for a cancellation. I do laugh and joke with him, and he responds, but it's hard to hear him crying - he's a huge dark brooding man who you wouldn't imagine to be like that :O) xx

Anne I snd my love XXXXX Richard, good luck xxxxx

Thank you all for your kind PMs - it means alot to know you guys are there for me and that you care :O) I hope I can repay each of you in some way sometime xxxx

Ann, we all need a shoulder to cry on occasionally. Richard knows you are there when he needs you. (((((((((hug)))))))))

Thanks Jim :O) Yes you're right - he does know - it's hard tho that he wont let me go to him when he comes to me so readily - he's a stubborn old fool who wont change now lol xxx