General Chat

(((hug))) xx

Annie, empathising with you. Joy

So sad for you Annie that you never get to see your grandson. How cruel his mammy is for allowing this to happen. You have a right to take part in his life. I know it would break my heart if it had happened to me and I couldn't see my grandsons. One day ( and it will be soon !) he will be asking to see you and things could change!! Love Maureen XX

I blame the Permissive Society. If only it were possible to return to 'more traditional values'. A lower illegitimacy rate would mean less of this kind of misery going around.

Oh Annie (((((hugs))))) xxxxxxxx

Oh that is so sad is there no way you could have a chat and sort thing's out? It is such a pity you are missing out on your grandson and he is missing out on what I am sure is a great Granny. What ever happened with your son and partner is not your or your Grandsons fault. Both my Grannies were dead before I was born, so I missed out on that :(( I have a wee Grandson coming up for three, and we have great times together, I am always knackered by the end of the day, but it's great having him. I would hate not to see him. I think it would be good for you both to see each other.,if it can be worked ou,t and you dont take sides of his Mum and Dad. Marion

Annie I really feel for you. That is such a sad story. I am lucky enough to have 4 beautiful grandchildren who I see regularly. The eldest is my daughter-in-law's from her previous marriage (although we have known her since her birth), and is treated exactly as the others are. She is in regular contact with her father, but not his parents (who see their other grandchildren regularly). They only live about an hours journey away, but never make any attempt to see her. My 7 year old grandson's father's parents, on the other hand, refused to acknowledge him at all at first, then saw him when he was 3 months old for about a month then suddenly stopped. When grandson was 4, his father's sister had a baby, and grandson was taken to see it. He met his 'new' uncles, aunties and cousin and grandparents and for a while they sent him cards and letters and presents and he visited them. This went on for about 6 months, but since then he has had no contact at all. He used to ask about his father's family, but that has stopped now. His father has not even been in contact (despite my daughter's pleas) for over a year now. They only live about 2 miles from here so it's not as if they are far away. Children need their grandparents, and grandparents need their grandchildren and it is just so sad when this doesn't happen. I hope that your grandson is able to contact you when he is older and you are able to have a warm and loving relationship. Sue xx

Grannie Annie, I am so sorry. I am sure one day your grandson will know he has a Grannie who loves him very much. Liz x

Elaine i already do that.I always buy him christmas and birthday cards and i keep them in a shoe box.I also have a bank account i put his birthday and christmas money in.My son does the same.Just in case you never know maybe one day? Annie

What can I say but chin up girl ! At least you know your grandson is happy and healthy. One day he will be old enough to trace you or be traced. What you could do is write latters and enclose photos and get a solicitor to hold them until your grandson is 18. That way he will know his nan always loved him. {{{{{HUGS}}}}} Elaine x

How sad for you all. (((((HUGS))))))))))))) Linda

Big hug from one Grandma to another...XX BC

BIG HUG for you Annie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Annie Have you thought on writing a letter, that way you are not coming face to face, maybe suggest that whatever has happend is nothing to do with you, and you would love the chance to develop a relationship with your grandson. Never know, maybe it's worth a try. catherine

Thank you all for your kind replies.We know my grandson is happy and my son does not want to take the ex to court as he says its not fair on the little boy.He does not know us and by wading in could disrupt his secure life.My son also has a 10 year old son from his first ex and the second one always said she did not want her son meeting or mixing with his elder son.He has the elder one every other week-end and takes him on holiday.The younger boy is missing out on all this.Annie

Annie, I can't imagin what is like for you not to see your grandson nor what it is like for him not to know you as a grandmother. My grandparents mean the world to me, and the 2 I've lost in the last 18 months are missed dearly. To be honest I've always pittied 2 of my cousind because the only grand parents they have are our grandparents. Their Mothers mam died when my aunt was a baby and her dad died before her eldest was born. As a resulr my Aunt never knew her mother and her children never knew their grandparents, the only tiny consilation is my Aunt's Aunt was like a mother to my Aunt and her siblings and a now like a nanna to my cousins. I hope you grandson looks you up in few years and asks why you don't see him any more, you can then tell him why and say that when you did see him he didn't know who you were. I'm sure he's a lovely and bright child who will want to find out who you are and what has happened from the horse's mouth (so to speek)

Annie I feel for you, i know exactly what you are going through. We saw our grandchild for 2 years and then it dried up on his Mum's part. (I acknowledge she and my son had a very tough marriage). We had been to family mediation, but sadly there was nothing we could do to keep contact and decided that he was never going to know us as grandparents and therefore it was futile to carry on seeing him on very rare occasions.Also our son has not seen him since he was a few months old and that did make it very awkward. When he was 7 I saw him in a shop and I had a conversation with his Mum, he didn't know who I was , It was heartbreaking for me. I just hope one day that he will look us up, before we pop our clogs, and we can explain that he has been in our thoughts and hearts for the past 12 years.

That's criminal Annie. Not sure about England, but here in Canada grandparents do have rights, including the right to take custodial parent to court for visitation priveledges. Your grandson is being deprived of one of the most wonderful relationships he will ever have. You should check with local family court to find out what your rights are. Hope you get to see him again SOON! A fellow Grandma

Annie - what a very sad situation but at least you heard from your friend that your little grandson is ok and not only that, a nice little lad, so even tho you and his mum cannot agree, blood will out and the lad is a good lad. Also he must be happy (as he can without his daddy and grandma) to be a nice child and accepted in other people's homes. Hold on to that thought and hope someday you will be able to establish a relationship with him - wouldn't it be better to see him as you were than not at all. I am sure when he is older he would question how you were known to the family and he could have things explained slowly to him. Perhaps he is a bit young to understand the complications at the moment. My son has a half brother in Malta, who is now coming up to 14, when we saw him with my son's dad and stepmum they told the lad we were family friends. All the rest of the family know Guy for who he is, but because we don't go to Malta now, nothing more has been done to rectify the lie. At some point my son will visit again and so will I, what will he think of his parents to know they lied to him, and he has a big brother (10 years and 4 days between them and his father stopped sending my son cards for his birthday etc when he was 13) What a s**t.

Hi Granny Annie, I hadn't seen my two grandaughters for six years due to the split of my son and his wife, however this year the eldest girl 16 contacted us and now we have a loving relationship again. She told us of the lies her mother told her about why we didn't want to see them, luckily she now knows this to be untrue but as a cjhild why would your mum lie.!! We have missed out on six years of love but she is missing out now. It's a control thing, Don't worry when your grandson is older he will search you out. You are in my thoughts, been there, done that, Chris.