General Chat

I went into our local supermarket today and a woman that i used to work with years ago called me.She went on to tell me that she had my 6 year old grandson round in the week to play with her grandson.Went on to tell me what a lovely little boy he was and how he looked like my son.My son has not seen him since he was 2 and i stopped seeing him last year as she never told him who i was.I was just the very nice lady that bought him presents.I also felt that i was going behind my sons back. Annie

awww annie hugs hun xx

that's so sad!! :O( big hug!! xx

Oh annie that must be heart breaking Must admit i treasured my Nan so much that when i split from daughter father I made sure she stil saw her Nan. Even if she didn't see her father!!!

Oh Annie I really feel for you. I can't understand why some partners take it out on the granparents. Can you not go round and chat to her. Surely as a granparent, don't they have rights now? Not something I know much about really. Oh this little lad needs to know who you are.

That is so sad, wish people realised the child has rights too...to see and know both sides of its family (((((()))))))))) for you Granny

(((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))) R.B.

Very sad. Hugs for you. Anna

I am so sad for you but I think there is a Group for Grandparents check with CAB. Ann

Oh that is so sad ! When i divorced many years ago.. i never envisaged his parents stopping seeing the 2 boys. But they did.... not a xmas card or birthday card for 23 years. Then at xmas i sent her some photos [ she had asked a friend of mine if i would do this for her]... i then got a xmas card.. full of ' what a good job you have done' [ how does she know] and.... could i possibly meet them..... Both boys [ well men now] have said NO... she has left it too late ... ...... one was 2 years old..... the other was new born when i divorced ! So sad.........

Hi Granny Annie, I hadn't seen my two grandaughters for six years due to the split of my son and his wife, however this year the eldest girl 16 contacted us and now we have a loving relationship again. She told us of the lies her mother told her about why we didn't want to see them, luckily she now knows this to be untrue but as a cjhild why would your mum lie.!! We have missed out on six years of love but she is missing out now. It's a control thing, Don't worry when your grandson is older he will search you out. You are in my thoughts, been there, done that, Chris.

Annie - what a very sad situation but at least you heard from your friend that your little grandson is ok and not only that, a nice little lad, so even tho you and his mum cannot agree, blood will out and the lad is a good lad. Also he must be happy (as he can without his daddy and grandma) to be a nice child and accepted in other people's homes. Hold on to that thought and hope someday you will be able to establish a relationship with him - wouldn't it be better to see him as you were than not at all. I am sure when he is older he would question how you were known to the family and he could have things explained slowly to him. Perhaps he is a bit young to understand the complications at the moment. My son has a half brother in Malta, who is now coming up to 14, when we saw him with my son's dad and stepmum they told the lad we were family friends. All the rest of the family know Guy for who he is, but because we don't go to Malta now, nothing more has been done to rectify the lie. At some point my son will visit again and so will I, what will he think of his parents to know they lied to him, and he has a big brother (10 years and 4 days between them and his father stopped sending my son cards for his birthday etc when he was 13) What a s**t.

That's criminal Annie. Not sure about England, but here in Canada grandparents do have rights, including the right to take custodial parent to court for visitation priveledges. Your grandson is being deprived of one of the most wonderful relationships he will ever have. You should check with local family court to find out what your rights are. Hope you get to see him again SOON! A fellow Grandma

Annie I feel for you, i know exactly what you are going through. We saw our grandchild for 2 years and then it dried up on his Mum's part. (I acknowledge she and my son had a very tough marriage). We had been to family mediation, but sadly there was nothing we could do to keep contact and decided that he was never going to know us as grandparents and therefore it was futile to carry on seeing him on very rare occasions.Also our son has not seen him since he was a few months old and that did make it very awkward. When he was 7 I saw him in a shop and I had a conversation with his Mum, he didn't know who I was , It was heartbreaking for me. I just hope one day that he will look us up, before we pop our clogs, and we can explain that he has been in our thoughts and hearts for the past 12 years.

Annie, I can't imagin what is like for you not to see your grandson nor what it is like for him not to know you as a grandmother. My grandparents mean the world to me, and the 2 I've lost in the last 18 months are missed dearly. To be honest I've always pittied 2 of my cousind because the only grand parents they have are our grandparents. Their Mothers mam died when my aunt was a baby and her dad died before her eldest was born. As a resulr my Aunt never knew her mother and her children never knew their grandparents, the only tiny consilation is my Aunt's Aunt was like a mother to my Aunt and her siblings and a now like a nanna to my cousins. I hope you grandson looks you up in few years and asks why you don't see him any more, you can then tell him why and say that when you did see him he didn't know who you were. I'm sure he's a lovely and bright child who will want to find out who you are and what has happened from the horse's mouth (so to speek)

Thank you all for your kind replies.We know my grandson is happy and my son does not want to take the ex to court as he says its not fair on the little boy.He does not know us and by wading in could disrupt his secure life.My son also has a 10 year old son from his first ex and the second one always said she did not want her son meeting or mixing with his elder son.He has the elder one every other week-end and takes him on holiday.The younger boy is missing out on all this.Annie

Annie Have you thought on writing a letter, that way you are not coming face to face, maybe suggest that whatever has happend is nothing to do with you, and you would love the chance to develop a relationship with your grandson. Never know, maybe it's worth a try. catherine

BIG HUG for you Annie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Big hug from one Grandma to another...XX BC

How sad for you all. (((((HUGS))))))))))))) Linda