General Chat

Well its been quite a while since I was on the boards, an awful lot has been happening, and I just havnt had the time or the inclination. As some of you will know my dad has been ill with lung fibrosis. He also had a bad heart condition. Anyway.....as time passed he gradually got worse, was on permement oxygen and he just got weaker. I spent a lot of time sorting carers out for him, and making phone calls for various things he wanted or needed. He got to the stage where he hated talking on the phone as he got so out of breath. It then go to the stage where dad really couldnt do much for himself so it was time to try and find a nursing home for him. That wasnt fun. I visited what seemed like every single home in town. Eventually we found a lovely one for him. Took pictures so he could see what it looked like, as it was too much effort for him to actually go and look for himself. In he moved and really seemed to settle in quite fast, he was eating properly, as he didnt have to make meals himself, and chatting up all the ladies. He had a good night sleep the first night. I went round the next day to see how he was getting on. Everything was great and he really liked it. I spent about 4 hours there before I had to get home for the children. My sister phoned him about 6 pm just as he was being taken up to his room to watch telly. 10 to 7 I got a phone call from them. Dad had had a heart attack and was on his way to hospital. By the time my sister and I got there it was too late. They tried to save him but his poor heart just gave out on him. We just couldnt belive it, going into the home was ment to give him more time with us. As it was he spent just one night there. It just seemed to go down hill from there. Telling everyone, arranging the funeral. Actually going to it, which was horrible, even though everyone said we had given him a wonderful send off. The worse I think was sorting out his house. I didnt realise just how much stuff dad had. It took a long time to go through everything. His lovely home is now up for sale and Ive been round there for the past couple of weeks cleaning up and redecorating the main rooms as they looked a bit scruffy once all the pictures and bit and bobs had gone. I think today will see me finished over there. Strangely Im not looking forward to it. It feels like Im turning my back on him, maybe its because there is now nothing left to do. Anyway ramblings over now.

(((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))) Glad to have you back.

margaret - a very difficult time for you. take comfort from the fact that he only spent on night in a lovely nursing home, could have had many perhaps, in a grim one, had you just moved him to any old place. You did your best , as is right and proper. Hope today passes without too much heartache, and tha a buyer comes along soon to buy the house, making it a happy family home again. thinking of you Jess

Clearing a person's things is the hardest part of the lot, and I hope you have held on to all the old photos etc as eventually you will enjoy looking through them. My father in law died in 1987 - he was the only father I'd ever known - and my mother in law in 1993. I try to avoid the road they lived on, but at least I can pass it now - for a long time I just 'saw' them there. Hold on to all the good memories. Take care, Christine

Margaret Lots of love and hugs for you. Dianne xx

I am so sorry for your loss, I lost my dad 7yrs ago but even though he is not here in body he is still with me and if I have to tell him something I do, I just come out and say it as I know where ever he is he listiens to me so please think happy thoughts not sad ones

Margaret I'm so sorry to hear of your loss ((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Julie xxx

Look after yourself Margaret xx

Sorry to hear of your loss Margaret (((HUGS))) Jeanette x

Understand your, and your families pain Margaret....will be thinking of you each step of the way......x.....Sally

Sending you my deepest sympathy Margaret and thinking of you. Take care of yourself. Luv & Hugs Jxx

Sorry to hear of your loss Margaret, It will be very hard for you but you get through. Like you say sorting his house out is very hard. Thinking of you and your family. Take Care Germaine x

No words can make it better but I want you to know we are here if you need us!! HUGE (((HUGS))) xx

Margaret, i am so sorry to hear of your loss. Its not easy to come to terms with but time does help a little. Love and Hugs, June xx

Thanks everyone. Its nice to know that people care. I have now finished everything at dads. My sister is going round at the weekend to sort out the garden. Its amazing how much its grow, and where did all those weeds come from? I had a quick go at them while waiting for a coat of paint to dry. Filled a bin liner. So she really has her work cut out. Girl from the estate agents called round while I was there to take some interior pics now that Ive got rid of all the horrible wallpaper. All I did was slap magnolia everywhere, but its made a real difference. The rooms seem much bigger and brighter now. So lets hope that it dosnt take to long to sell. There has been some people having a look, but nothing so far.

Margaret, My heart goes out to you. Elaine x

Margaret, I lost my dad suddenly 5 weeks ago today. I know exactly how you are feeling, I feel like I've got a big black cloud hanging over me. Sue

Margaret.... I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Dad. You can rest assured that you did everything possible for him. I know this is a very difficult time for you but soon the happy memories will kick in and you will be able to remember him with love and laughter instead of the sadness you feel now. Jean x.

Margaret, Im so sorry you lost your dad. Try to think of all the good times you had together. Be brave. Rosi

Margaret I can't imagin what your going through, but he had a daughter to be proud of, you spent so much time trying to find him a home where he would be comfortable, and he did like it there, it's just that it was his time, you are not removing him by clearing his things out of the house, you and your family will have some keep sakes, and lots of wonderful memories, treasure them and he will always be with you. (((((HUGS))))) Bev