General Chat

We live in a private bungalow between two sets of nosey neighbours. We're honest law abiding people who keep ouselves to ourselves and neither care nor know what the neighbours' gardens look like, having never stared over the 6' fences. We talk to everyone in the street but our two neighbours would rather turn away than have to speak if they are nearby. Last week we received a letter from the local Council after one of the neighbours complained anonymously about a few bin bags and a pile of things that I'd put out to take to the tip (on my own yard in between my bungalow and next door). They also complained about children's toys in our back garden. Since the neighbours are the only two to see into our back garden it had to be them. They were too cowardly to talk to us face to face. Understandably neither of us are sleeping and I feel like crying all of the time . I have to add that both neighbours had raised conservatories built last year in their back gardens. They now look straight into our back garden and we have every move monitored by the two of them. Last Summer, I even noticed that the daughter of one neighbour even stood on a chair in the conservatory to see right into our garden as we put up a paddling pool. My husband is really depressed about the whole thing and his health and work is suffering. We do everything lawfully, so would like some advice from anyone who has either had similar problems or who knows whether there's anything that we can do to stop them before things take a turn for the worst. Thanks, Louise

do an Alan Partridge, put up a small sign that both can see... Watching you..........watching me!!!! Bob

I sympathise, Louise, we live virtually in the middle of nowhere and our neighbours have 10 acres but guess where they walk? Where they can see directly into our garden whether we are there or not. It drives me mad. My friends suggest it is a compliment but I am tempted to sunbathe naked this year - not a pretty sight!!!!

Bob, I love it. The sign is a brilliant idea. I may make two signs and attach them to either end of the shed at the bottom of the garden. It has got to the stage that I feel paranoid when I go into the garden. I even dug over our front garden on Sunday thinking that they weren't in and as I turned around a hand suddenly had to dust the windowsill behind me at 5pm. Louise

Helen, I find it really worrying that we have two daughters who won't go into the garden because they're always being spied on by our male neighbour. My husband is a teacher and he's quite happy to mention 'pervert' and 'paedophile' in a conversation if this get worse. I phoned up the local Council's Planning Department and explained my dilemma. The very understanding lady there suggested that she send out a Planning Officer to check that their conservatories met regulations and didn't infringe on our privacy. If they do they can be made to put obscure glass in their conservatories. I'm not sure whether they'll find anything but I felt slightly better that they'll have their 'cage rattled' like we did. I just feel useless and I'm the innocent party! Thanks, Louise

Would it help to plant some quick growing shrubs? We have a mobile holiday home with another one close behind it. We bought a lot of cheap shrubs and put them in along the boundary. I kept pinching out the tips all summer long and they grew amazingly quickly and filled out into really thick bushes. It doesn't spoil our neighbours' view but does mean they aren't looking straight in our windows. In the meantime is there any part of your garden you can screen off to give yourselves a private spot? I hope you get some privacy soon. It must be miserable. Sue

Billbo Esq, Thanks for the suggestion. I suggested to the Planning Officer but we're only allowed to have 2 metre high fences or 1 metre high front gates. Anything higher and we'd have to submit a Planning Application at £135 a time. The trouble is that our garden slopes and they'd still be able to see even with trellis and creeping plants. If only I could win the Lottery then I'd sell up to the local Hell's Angels Chapter and feel good about myself!!! Now I'm not normally a bad person but I'm at the end of my tether. Louise

what are the council on? what business is it of anyone's if you have children's toys in your back garden? Maybe you could rig up a CCTV to catch them spying on you - then you could complain about THEM! Maz. XX

Bilbo, I asked about trellis coming under the fence height restriction but apparently it does in our Nottinghamshire Council. At most we could put up 6' trellis. I'm not sure whether we can put up a fence panel or two in our garden so that we have somewhere to hide from prying eyes. If not we'll be at our allotment all year. At least it has views and no viewable neighbours. Why our old neighbours had to sell to these two losers I'll never know. Louise

Susan, I read that trees can only be a certain height too, so knowing our luck that'd not work either. I think we should start digging and have a Hobbit style hiding place in our garden where we can be ourselves again. Louise

Maz, They described it as an accumulation of waste!!A few outdoor toys thrown across the garden and a bucket of rose cuttings. The bin bags were full of broken storage boxes and decapitated Barbie dolls. I've not seen many rats interested in Barbie have you? Luckily the bags, etc went to the tip and the Council Officer that came out originally agreed that it wasn't a health hazard anyway. When she spoke to my husband he got the impression that she thought that it was a malicious call. Louise

I think I would go and knock and 'warn' them that someone in the area is making malicious calls to the council ... say that the council came out and said that themselves to you. Tell them that you are only telling them as you wouldn't like anyone else to be on the receiving end of such worry :-)) You could tell the other residents of your street too - people will soon work it out! Maz. XX

Maz, I wondered whether to print a questionnaire for the two of them. That way I could ask them both what they'd like to see in my garden. We haven't been sleeping and the two of us are really low at the moment, you've all cheered us up a little with your replies. I'm sure we'll still be awake at 2 am, as usual. I just find it hard to comprehend how someone can be so heartless. I wish that I could convey how much hurt they have caused.My husband is convinced that one side are cat and children haters and the other side must lead a miserable life if they have to watch us. The worst thing is that the daughter has been taught by my husband at the local school. Louise

Though I wouldn't normally suggest it (!) I believe the number one annoying thing to have in your garden is a large trampoline....perhaps if you and your family bounce high enough to look at the neighbours they might get the message! I do like the idea of the Hobbit hole though! xx

I think that 8' leylandii's might solve some of the problem...... Bob

You can insist on obscure glass in their conservatory if they can now overlook you where they couldnt before. When I had my conservatory put up, I ASKED my neighbours either side whether they wanted me to put in obscure glass.(I am middle terrace) One said yes, as she said she would feel uncomfortable if she went into her garden as she would have to stare into my window as she went back inside.(True, even if she was just getting her washing in) The other said she would be fine with blinds or curtains - in fact she has put up a fence, which suits me fine. Nobody was nasty and nobody took offence. Complain to the Council that they are always watching you because they overlook you SINCE THEY HAD THEIR NEW CONSERVATORY lol. Or - I could come round yours and dump a few old settees in your front garden and a clapped out car or two. Then they would have something to complain about. I do sympathise - a neighbour made my life a misery because we painted our bungalow the same colour as theirs! OC

Poor you, I can understand where you are coming from as my newish neighbour is not a friendly person and it has quite put me off using my garden (altho I am not living at my house at the mo, will be going back there and trying to think of ways of assuring more privacy) I was talking only today to a friend whose daughter is being persecuted by her neighbour to the extent that her son of 9 is having to live with his nan. The neighbour keeps reporting her as going into his house and moving things and the housing association has changed his locks four times since last May, she is now waiting to be rehoused. He shouts at the children and tells them the rottweilers he owns eat children - there is a 2 year old as well, and the daughter is a single parent. It has been a nightmare for her. There is no an injunction being taken out against this man for harrassing her and making malicious reports to the council. Maybe you could talk to someone about this, my friend's daughter called in her local Councillor. I do hope you get things resolved, and I am sure some fast growing shrubbery on trellis would thwart their efforts to be nosey. Passionflower is good - it grows fast, and you could intermingle other things like honeysuckle and clematis, montana is another fast grower and you can get sweet smelling ones as a bonus! Keep your chin up, sing quietly to yourself when you are out in the garden, if you see them dusting the windowsill at 5pm on a Sunday, give a cheery wave! Liz

how horrible for you. Dont know the answer. Last year I had a horrible annonymous letter about my dog saying it was in our yard 24/7 and why dont I do a kind act and give him to the RSPCA. This really did hurt me as we got him from the RSPCA and I take him to the beach almost every morning where he is off his lead and has a good game of chase with other dogs then he comes home and collapes in his bed for most of the morning. And we dont have a yard we have a garden. We had a visit from the RSPCA and they were completely satisfied. We keep ourselves to ourselves around here as our area is rapidly going downhill due to crooks etc. which is why we had to get a dog to stop them coming in our garden stealing our bikes etc. So it wasnt until quite a while after when OH had reason to talk to our neighbours they told us they had a similar letter about their rabbits. We never even knew they had rabbits as they were tucked away right next to the house. So whoever it is must have been in their bedroom windows nosing out......... Felt better after hearing about that one.

totaly poor you, it could be worse you could have nabours like mine, they wait for the rubbish man to come and take the rubbish away and THEN they dump the rubbish across the road at odd hours of thenight ... 12am pluss andthe worst is the men will go out with just boxers on, no shoes no nothing just boxers, the girls will go out in ther PJ's dont knowwhy there doing it, could be becuse they have come from abroad and they dont know any better, but it is just soo irrating how theyleave it. we try to keep our streats clean. all we cando is report them to the poilce and hope they catch them out. i really fealsorry for you having to put up with 2 houses that can see over ur fence, its an invasion of privacy, and i belive you can take them to court, or at lease qustion about it to the police. good luck, love wendy

I would be outraged if it were me. What business is it of your neighbours what you have in your back yard? I would purposely make the yard messy just to tick them off. I would put up a sign so that both sides see it. 'No Trespassing -and that means visual too' I would also ask the council if they had a permit to build their conservatorys. Also press the council to demand they put frosted class to protect your privacy. Do you have a copy of your local bylaws? See if you are permited roosters and hens. They will get the hint when the 'cock a doodle doo' starts at sunsise :))) Deb