General Chat

A BIG BIG BIG THANK YOU to everyone who was kind enough to reply. We're both still feeling really depressed but reading your wonderful replies has raised a smile! The glass of red wine has also helped. My husband is so stressed that he had a day off work yesterday because his health is suffering and his blood pressure is through the roof and he was in no fit state to teach. I just feel like I'm running on adrenaline all of the time, like I'm constantly looking over my shoulder for another letter complaining about something else. Both of our neighbours were out today. Hurray! Another problem we'd had, was with a grassy service strip outside our front window. We'd kept the grass cut for 13 years and after neighbours constantly parked over it (killing the grass), my husband finally snapped and asked for the parked cars to be moved back off the grass. He was told that it wasn't ours anyway, so I phoned the Council yesterday to ask for it to be tarmaced. They told me that we have to maintain it still but it's their property. I can remove the awful grass though and put in plants such as lavender or low rockery that can easily be removed by the utility companies should they need to get to the services. I had a great time today, the grass was soon removed with my wonderful azada and there's now a muddy patch for the neighbours to look at. I'm going to put a low lavender hedge and slabs with seasonal pots on it in time. But the neighbours don't know that! I've also removed all the tired, leggy plants and trellis from under our kitchen window because I want to freshen up the border and put in roses and paint the trellis, so everything is now worse looking at the front. I bet the neighbours are seething. I've also decided to start sanding the windows when it's dry, so they have to put up with the noise after all I had to put up with the noise of two conservatories being built consecutively. It's sad that our garden can't accommodate a trampoline as it is the perfect answer but having children launched into the Leylandii at the bottom of the slope would probably be a health and safety issue! Keep the suggestions coming. I'll keep you posted. Thanks, Louise

Louise snap and can I come cry with you please . We have had this type of problem for 8 years and have had thousands spent on us by locl councils school wag officers social services police ectectect in just visits alone. We have been told that WE MUST collect info on them and what they do!!!!!!!??????like I have the time BUT without this 'evidence' for the police ectect we dont have a leg to stand on!! We tried to ignore it but that made it even more difficult coz they did it all the more!!! We BEGGED in the end and I said I would jump of a cliff it the police didnt do some thing Yes it worked a meeting was set up with everyone police council schools neighbours. the police used Resolve its brings everyone together and talks Still only 4 months down the road but its Quiet........... Take care and get the camera at the ready

Hi , i was going to suggest NFH they know what they are talking about,they have forms to help you with alsorts of complaints.Plenty of advise . I had trouble from my nieghbour but one two years ago and it takes over your life if you let it.I always seemed to watching them for their next moved ,if they were talking i the street it was about me ( i 'm sure it wasn't but it's how it feels) Anyhow i was reading someone elses and someone suggested in changing the room round .Sounds so simple but hey it worked,it seemed all of sudden but it did work.Of course it helped to ignor them as well. I ended up calling the police after they started,i wasn't going to start playing their stupid games. Also after reading what some of them go throughmine seemed silly as well but they didn't treat it in that way at all. Tina

I do feel for you and know how stressful it is and it really takes over your life. There is a very helpful website I used - just google Neighbours From Hell or NFH forum. Its gives good advice and the members are supportive. Also it might be useful to keep a record of everything, complaints etc that happens, just in case people start sending solicitors letters etc. Hope it sorts itself soon, Selena

Why don,t you write an article to the Local Paper entitled' Nosey Nasty Neighbours and the Trouble they Cause' Giving Details Etc.of problems you are having,meybe even invite their reporter to interview you. ( No Names but if the cap fits) it could be fun and if and when printed could cause a few red faces. Hal.

Just reading your thread. My daughter a couple of year ago started to put up a fence around her garden . She hadn't applied for planning permission as a lot similar in the area.( though she did after the first letter) Granted it was round the front as she is on a corner and has no back ( needed somewhere safe for the children to play). Before it was finnished they got a letter from the council after a bit of talking etc they were told it had to come down or go 2 mtr. in ( which would have taken up too much of her garden. ) anyway as she was due to give birth any time she said it would be taken down when they we able a couple of month later it hadn't been done so another letter off the council. The person who complained in the first place had complained again. She was told she could have trees ( they said at the moment no limit on size) but not a fence above a metre or one with trellis on. So they got conifers she went to the council to see if she could have a fence in along the drive and if there were any restrictions to this. She told the man seeing to her about what had happened he said if the complaint had gone to him he would have looked and probably truned a blind eye judging by what she had told him as there were many already in the area. When she said she had had to spend another £400 on trees he said they must be puddy big trees yes she said I have got 5ft ones and they are going to grow. He laughed said you wouldn't believe the complaintrs they get . What view was she obstructing only poeple looking at the kids in the garden and her bathroom window. (bungalow too). It was a shame everyone was saying how lovely it was looking it had been the house of grime!!! when she moved in they have worked so hard. Since found out that the person who most likely has complained has done it on another neighbour. Hope you get something sorted out. We laugh when we think how high the trees are getting. She has a gardener go that is going to trim them when they reach the right height she is not awkward just wants somewhere safe for the kids to play. Hope you get something sorted shame they have nothing better to do with their lives. Take care Germaine x

hi you need to complain that your neighbours conservatories are overlooking your gardens and blocking your light , they would have needed planning permission for them so find out if they have. My mum had problems for years with her neighbours , they would complain that the tv was on a 6pm and they couldnt sleep, reported my mum for cruelty to her dog , informed the council that they had a loft room without permission. all untrue allegations.it ended when the son assaulted my brother and fractured his skull he was sent to prison for 18 months. Some people have sad and lonely lives and have nothing better to do, you have to stand up to them or they will get worse. I would smile wave hello and show them that they are not going to get you down.

Hi They solve that problem around our way by erecting a two metre fence on top of a bank of earth which has been turved(turfed) over. There are some three metres high but are still legal! Keith

Hi, Sorry to hear of the difficulties. The following link might help decide how to proceed. Patrick http://www. communities. gov.uk/index.asp?id =1144675

Hi Louise How about have a BBQ in the summer we'll all come, that will probably scare them. Hi Maz I agree about the waving, I did that to my next door neighbour. We were in the garden having a water fight and caught her looking from the bedroom window, she ducked back when i waved. They did move, and then found out she had said she'd move if children moved in next door. Julie

Sounds like where i live - although i just have a nasty nosey old bag....We were reported to environmental health last summer, i was really upset as we dont do anything to cause offence, it was a complaint about me letting my dogs out into MY garden!!!!! Don't let it get you down.... Firstly 'they' would have to prove there was a regular problem via an extensive investigation, then give you a chance to rectify any problems..... Some neighbours go out of their way to be difficult, keep smileing and if they're spying into your garden do what i do.....lmao......I give 'em something to look at....Tee-Heee!!!! LOU XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Yes Maz, waving and smiling at them will make them think....that is how the neighbours treated my in-laws.....

Me again :-) I was serious!! I would definitely knock on every door in the street and tell them about the malicious calls/letters and how angry the council were at having their time wasted and how this sort of thing puts up the council tax. You could also tell them that the council are actively investigating into who made the report. :-) Make sure they see that you are telling everyone. After all, it's only a slight exaggeration of the truth! You might find that others have had similar problems - maybe those on the other side of one of your neighbours. In any case, it might worry them enough to stop them being so obnoxious. I would also make a point of waving cheerily every time you catch them 'spying' on you. Don't give them the satisfaction of thinking they have intimidated you. Attack is the best form of defence - go for it! Maz. XX

Poor you - there's lots of great advice here - I especially like the one about the trampoline!!! Also, someone suggested going round to tell your neighbours that someone's making malicious calls - I don't think I'd do that but I do like your husband's suggestion about going down the road of complaining about a paedophile - he could be right!! I think there could be an element of jealousy here - have you got something they haven't?? Like a real life??

Louise, Great idea, cause THEM grief over the conservatories. Really LOVE the trampoline idea - if the whole family uses it, it could be healthy too! I'd like to add the suggestion of getting a clutch of cats - they always do their business in other people's gardens and will give your family much other pleasure too. Whatever you do, don't fret about this - please - these people are not worth the worry. Good luck Annie

We had a problem like yours,......only my in-laws were the nosy neighbours......nothing else to do with their time but bat on to us about the next door's skip/rubbish/lack of gardening skills/how long the washing was left out....etc.etc..... We were horrified that they could think in that way......we told them we would hate to live next to anybody that knew our movements 24/7......and told them that the only way they could see what went on was to stand at the landing window at the top of their stairs.....we asked why they were so interested in what the neighbours got up to.......of course they tried to justify their behaviour, but we let them know that what they were doing was being nosy.......now.....either they stopped doing it......or stopped telling us about it..... My FiL died last year, and my MiL has new neighbours, who made a lot of noise etc. moving in, and not a peep of a moan about anything from her......I think it must have been FiL getting old and grumpy.... Really, just to let you know, that if these people have family, and they complain to them, then the family might put them straight... My in-laws never complained to anyone else but us though......I thought they were being ridiculous because the neighbours were improving their property, and not causing any problem to their property at all.....

Had a similar situation with my neighbours,,,4 elderly spinster sisters,,,, at the time all four of my sons lived at home, I think they have an aversion to males lol,,,Human Rights act ,,the right to private and peaceful enjoyment of ones possessions,,,got a solicitor to send them a letter about harassment etc; it worked !! Good luck I understand completely,,,,take care. Jenni-Rose x

I would be outraged if it were me. What business is it of your neighbours what you have in your back yard? I would purposely make the yard messy just to tick them off. I would put up a sign so that both sides see it. 'No Trespassing -and that means visual too' I would also ask the council if they had a permit to build their conservatorys. Also press the council to demand they put frosted class to protect your privacy. Do you have a copy of your local bylaws? See if you are permited roosters and hens. They will get the hint when the 'cock a doodle doo' starts at sunsise :))) Deb

totaly poor you, it could be worse you could have nabours like mine, they wait for the rubbish man to come and take the rubbish away and THEN they dump the rubbish across the road at odd hours of thenight ... 12am pluss andthe worst is the men will go out with just boxers on, no shoes no nothing just boxers, the girls will go out in ther PJ's dont knowwhy there doing it, could be becuse they have come from abroad and they dont know any better, but it is just soo irrating how theyleave it. we try to keep our streats clean. all we cando is report them to the poilce and hope they catch them out. i really fealsorry for you having to put up with 2 houses that can see over ur fence, its an invasion of privacy, and i belive you can take them to court, or at lease qustion about it to the police. good luck, love wendy

how horrible for you. Dont know the answer. Last year I had a horrible annonymous letter about my dog saying it was in our yard 24/7 and why dont I do a kind act and give him to the RSPCA. This really did hurt me as we got him from the RSPCA and I take him to the beach almost every morning where he is off his lead and has a good game of chase with other dogs then he comes home and collapes in his bed for most of the morning. And we dont have a yard we have a garden. We had a visit from the RSPCA and they were completely satisfied. We keep ourselves to ourselves around here as our area is rapidly going downhill due to crooks etc. which is why we had to get a dog to stop them coming in our garden stealing our bikes etc. So it wasnt until quite a while after when OH had reason to talk to our neighbours they told us they had a similar letter about their rabbits. We never even knew they had rabbits as they were tucked away right next to the house. So whoever it is must have been in their bedroom windows nosing out......... Felt better after hearing about that one.