General Chat

Puss, I think you were so brave to let us share your feelings and I do hope you get some help to talk all this through. Do you think your mother was jealous of the love your father had for you, even if she didn't realise it was obsessive and not quite right and that is why she behaved as she did towards you? I am waiting for counselling over issues with my childhood that I think might account for my ocd, sometimes you have to wait a while. I am 13th on the list, and lots of lists are closed because so many people want counselling but the thought of getting help to understand things, is keeping me going. Do hope your GP is sympathetic - they might refer you to a counsellor who works with your surgery or outside counselling services. I was given a list and had to ring several before I found someone who could put my on the waiting list but I will wait my turn and hope I can get things clearer in my head. Good luck, you are one special person and you know you have love and support on here. Don't feel guilty about the way your relationship is with your Mum, just do what you can and don't put yourself under pressure to do more than you feel comfortable with. Lizx

Puss, havnt really spoken to you, but would just like to say. You should be proud of yourself, and not let the past ruin the future, you have to make sure you take control and not be the victim for the rest of your life. You sound like you have a lovely family and friends. Sending you a (((((((hug)))))))) Wendy.xxx

I'm so very sorry for your pain and the childhood you didn't have. What you're feeling may be grief for the loss of what could have been. It is no different from feeling grief for someone who has died. You think you have lost that little girl, but she is still there inside. You need to get in touch with her again even if it is painful and show her a lot of love and tenderness. You deserve it. Susan xx

thank lw, xx ann are you ok xx

Pusser I can identify in many ways. See a Counsellor. I was very sceptical at first. But best thing I did. Still have nightmares though. LW

Thankyou Puss You have made me think! Ann x

thankyou gillian and posh for your kind words i do feel better for talking, and im just annoyed it got me so worked up this morning thankyou all xx

Bless you-seems like you had it very tough. At least now you are able to talk about it to us all-and hopefully this is the first step to rid yourself of these dreams. Sometimes the past comes up to haunt us and we do not understand why-perhaps time will tell. Just hope that you can be strong and not let this destroy you. You are very well liked on here and have a lot of friends around you-please take heart from that and know we are always here for you-hope you have a good Sunday and find a wey to put these dreams to rest. Bless you XX

I am thinking of you as always Puss. xxxxx

thanks joanie you make a lot of sense, i feel like ive coped ive been there for othewrs , even been part of organizeations to listen to others its since the dreams started from me thinking forget the past and be a daughter to my mum, this is what is hurting cause my dreams are making me remeber that it was a horrible lonely child hood ive done ok, i have a 20 yr old who works for a bank, a son with aspergers about to go to music college and a well balanced 11 yr old, i just hope its my mind playing tricks. im glad you have moved on and thankyou for your very kind offer xxx

thanks llc i guess its time now, whilst nothing major is happening, they say life begins at 40, which i am this year so i will be seeing gp tomorrow xx

Blondie, ur mail brought back loads of memories for me, I see other mothers huggin' kissing their chilkdren, i was youngest i never got that, i lived half my childhood in children's homes...,unwanted, father left me when i was 4 - cause i was a 'B' grandparents didnt want to know.....yes i look back and remember as a child i didnt want a bike - or a doll just a family like my friends in school..normal...not living in children's homes..some awful place and awful people looking after you... Dont look back...i have a lovely mad family, i did and do all those things i never had or wanted for and with them, Yes i cry sometimes for what i have missed, but one cannot change the past or make someone love you !.... I remember a lovely friend once saying...'' if u cannot love you, how can others '' When it gets u down talk about it get rid of it with friends...if u ever want to chat with someone who has been there ur welcome to send me a pm.......Look at ur selve now and be proud...everyone has skelitons...along the line.....take care Joanie

hi ann, thats why i cried because i really could see what i had missed it was so nice, i even went ant told them . i will go and see ive just had a lovely chat with someone and now know because my life is content my mind is playing tricks and its telling me i may get hurt again from my mum if i let her in too much, i9 suspected this anyway, even though i feel a stranger to mum, i can see we are quite simular too .

if you are more settled and content with life now and all this has been bottling up its your way of now letting it all go and move on.

Please don't be afraid of breaking down and showing your emotions to a counsellor, they are trained to cope with that. And, in case you were thinking otherwise. It is normal for a Father to show a daughter love and affection ( referring to your remark about the karaoke night), just some fathers seem not to know where to draw the line. their love seems to become obsessive and innapropriate. Ann Glos

thanks linda i really will, because like everything in life we seem to cope in the day time but when your nights are haunted by it its too much and i really want to be my mums friend, i dont want that guilt to god forbid she dies and i never tried xx

i will shelly feeling better already, xx

try a self help group were you are all the same talking to some one who has been there to.my help you and advise you on how to deal with your mum.but above please try to keep smiling.

thanks shelli and mary too its just this last dream i woke crying .

hi just been able to talk to your friends will help and talking doeshelp with healing get it all out.