General Chat

OH is having one of his nasty times and is being very shitty when he talks to me

I know its his condition but doesn't help when he does it in front of people who look at me in a what ?. It's embarrassing as well as hurtful.

Today we were buying paint etc from Brewers as grandson and SIL are coming up this weekend to paint our bedroom for us , he was really nasty and the assistant looked embarrassed . I did retort dont speak to me like that ,its not acceptable .
Wished the floor could have opened up !,


As we left I did mouth to the girl. Sorry he has altzeimers


I guess it's what I should expect but doesn't make it any easier cos he is a really mild guy normally

So getting it off my chest !,

must be very hard to deal with, especially when people are not aware of his condition - and of course, it's totally out of character for him

I remember when my husband went through a spell of being rude to me in front of others and then we discovered he has an underactive thyroid and it changed his personality totally, so I know how hurtful it can be. Once he was diagnosed things returned to normal - obviously there's no quick-fix for you

You do have my deepest sympathy <3

Thanks Ann

It has happened in the past and i wondered why I seemed to irritate him so , seemed that we clashed all the time cos I wouldn't accept his behavior, seemed to me like bullying .

Once he was diagnosed it became clear why and things did settle for some time , he seemed to make the effort and we were back on even keel as each others best mate. BUT it rearing its ugly head again. I try to make allowances and not rise to the bait but it isnt easy .

I feel for you, whenever you are in public you must be on edge in case he says something. Not a nice place to be. I hope this stage soon passes or that a change in his medicine/treatment may help the situation. <3

How awful for you, it must be very hard to handle these difficult situations. Remember though other people are not aware of his condition, your OH is not aware he is causing you so much distress. I hope you are feeling a bit better today.

Sending hugs to you and OH



Paula

Sending hugs to you both <3 <3

Thanks folks

Am being a bit selfish cos it shouldn't be poor me but poor him . Wouldnt like to to be where he is .

It doesnt help in embarrassing situations I know I should try to down play it . it a big leaning curve .

Really sad that my soul mate has to go through this . we met when I was 18 and he was 21 and we married 2 plus years later.

His medication is keeping him on even keel but these nasty outbursts happen every so often

Oh I do feel for you as well.
I have a friend whose husband has Altzheimers .He isn't rude,but has other issues.
Don't worry what other people think Shirley,I suppose I have got a bit more relaxed about others..you know he is not normally like that.
It does you good to talk to others who understand.
I have just come back from Carers Outreach which helps the carer as no one seems to realise that it takes so much from you.We meet once a week for coffee.I am no longer a carer,but can identify with others ,as family etc dont always know what YOU go through.
Hugs <3 <3

Hugs to you all . Thank you for letting me unload <3

It's hard to see loved ones change in so many ways
from what they were.
My SIL hit out at times, so unlike her and she would
have been mortified to see herself doing that.
My brother her OH has now joined her in the same
care home a sufferer also.

Emma.. <3 <3

Oh Emma I know where you are

Aint it a bugger this dementia thing . Strips people of their dignity and sometimes their self control and makes them what they really arent .

No answers as yet on why and what can be done to stop it

OH is on medication . 24 hour patches that are changed daily. it slows down the brain cell loss but cant reverse what has died or alter the eventual outcome. :-(

Shirley it's so heart breaking.

I nursed people with dementia many years ago
never thinking that it would affect me or mine,
well you don't do you.

My SIL knows none of the family which is upsetting
my brother is at the stage where he still knows his
family.

Emma...take care of yourself

<3 <3

So sorry Shirley, but don't feel guilty to feel sorry for yourself. It is hard on you as we'll as him. <3 <3

I am so sorry to hear that, Shirley, my Mum said some dreadful things, I grew up with it as she was showing signs of Altzheimers in her 40s, she died at 64.

She really didnt mean any of it, she wasn't herself for a good ten years before she died, she couldn't talk for the last two or three years but the last time I saw her she seemed to know me and said " thank you.". She died the next day.

Take care of yourself. X.

Ann, what to said about thyroid problems interests me. My husband says some awful things to me in front of friends and family. He won't have it but I am sure he has a goitre, he also is losing weight but eats like a horse. I wish he would listen to me, but he always knows best.


M
<3

I feel for you as I have the same situation. My OH is so nasty with me all the time, it's as though we are strangers and the 55years of marriage count for nothing. He denies me a daily shower and says I can only have one if I am going to the doctors or hospital. Will not allow me to put the boiler on only on the lowest setting. Calls me some foul names even hits me. I too try not to bite back but it is almost impossible. I have given over being out in company with him, I cannot take it. What can we do ??? Elaine <3 <3 <3

Oh Elaine......

Is your husband ill or is that just the way he is ?

M. X

Oh Shirley, do keep your pecker up, your OH is not well, and does not mean the things that he says. Sending you a big hug. <3

My Aunt Mary had Altzheimers, she was not vocal, but she too had other issues.

She used to go to the loo at the end of the passage, and then could not remember how to get back to the sitting room. My cousin had to go looking for her if she was not back within a few minutes. More often than not Aunt Mary was sitting in the loo crying because she had 'lost her way'. So sad.

It must be so hard for you Shirley and they always say that people who have Alzheimers hurt the people they love the most. <3

My fil had Altzheimers but died before I had a chance to meet him , but the story my husband told me about him was very sad. and was nothing like the man before he became ill. My thought are with you Shirley

Gentle hugs to Shirley and Elaine.