General Chat

I got the email earlier in the week at work, up on reading it I couldnt understand why half my colleagues were rolling about laughing, I cringed to begin with, half way through I thought aww she is only trying to advise the girl, by the end of it you get the feeling she is ranting...and she was, some of the points she made, in my opinion were for the girls best interest but some.....well

You do not tell your host, you don't like certain food unleess you have an allegy to them.....ok...if house was that posh, would it be help yourself to food in them posh bowls?.......secondly as a host would you not perfer your guest to have enjoy their food rather than sit there with a rumbling belly? thirdly if Mrs step MIL was eatting out somewhere I feel she would the first to complain and not to make fuss whilst all the time having people running round a round making a fuss!!!

The next point was ...You do not complain that there is not enough food on your plate.... I am sensing Mrs SFMIL is feeling wounded pride here..

You not lie in half the morning in bed when the rest of the house are early risers.....hmmmm was it a saturday? Does this young girl work hard and rises early for the rest of the week? ....was this more missed opportunity for Mrs SFMIL to snipe ?

I do agree with Mrs SFMIL with regards the marrying in a Castle and lack of funds to do so :-D

**** Here is the email in question *****

tt is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.
Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you. It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.

If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste. There are plenty of finishing schools around.









Please, for your own good, for Freddie's sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something. You do not remark that you do not have enough food. You do not start before everyone else.

You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.

You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.

No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

And I would tell the future step MIL to neff off. ;-) ;-)

my nephew marrried in a castle in Warwickshire 6 years ago ........he dont own it though,,, :-D :-D

if I dont like and dont eat the food then I say,,,,,,,thats not rude,,,,its more rude to just push it to one side of the plate uneaten,,,,,,if youre still hungry then just help yourself is what I say.:)

a bunch of garden flowers could have been given: as a thank you, :-D


;-)

They are actually marrying in a hall at the castle that is hired out for weddings. (Local paper)

Her 'real' mother in law says she is a lovely girl who has never been rude to her and who is welcome in her house any time!

The girls father says that when he first met her he nicknamed her 'fancy pants'. and said she obviously felt she was better than them.

I wonder if the sale of her pinks (plants) has gone up or down since all that publicity.

as dragged up as I was ...*looks over shoulder to make sure Mother isnt reading* even I know you wait for everyone else before you start eatting..... I loved the girls dad reaction and I quote " she is so far up her own **** she doesnt know if she is speaking or ******* :-D

I would love to know her heritage if she from stock or married in to it :-D

I just wonder if this marriage will ever come off - or how happy it will be if it does. I can't see the girl and her step mother in law ever having much of a relationship.

I feel sorry for the groom who is obviously going to be torn between trying to keep everyone happy.

I wonder if the step MIL has ever had to save for anything (as she suggested the girl's parents should have done).

Kath. x

I loved that too Hayley very funny. I think she is from humble beginnings I will see if I can find the paper.

I love to be a fly on the wall at the wedding... ;-)

when the grub is on the table and everyone has food on their plate ,then get stuck in,,,,,,,, :-D :-D :-D :-


hope the stepson puts her in her place before the big day,,,,,,,infact I would ban her from going........ ;-)

OK from the DM so to be taken with a pinch of salt.

She is 3 times married, her first child conceived out of 'wedlock'. Public records show he was registered under her maiden name and that of his father before she married his father her first husband, the child was then re-registered. She married Freddies father in 2003 her 3rd husband. But it doesn't say any more. I suspect she married money which makes for the worst type of snob. Apparently when she met Heidi's parents she kept talking about her 5 horses.

I should think the wedding will be interesting to say the least as it looks like there will be both Mum and step Mum there as well as Heidi's parents. As you say oh to be a fly on the wall (They should make a TV special from it!!)

Kay I hope they dont should be so entertaining ;-)

3 times married ....I am ermmm up me tree ;-)

Appalling woman lol...not just for the comments , this one particularly incensed me ("....cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.) "...

But mainly because she is a fool ( and i am especially intolerant of dictatorial, arrogant fools :))

No one with an ounce of sense ( let alone good manners) would have sent an email like that to a potential DIL, even if they'd thought it...surest way to push the couple together...surest way to push them away from contact with her in the future.

Would that be The Bourne Ultimatum then? ;-).......and surely she should have sent a hand writen card! :-P

IMO, she is an utterly dreadful snob of a woman, and incredibly rude.

Being a good host, means you should make your guests feel *comfortable and at home*, in your home.

As regards Heidi declaring what she will or won't eat.........I read that Heidi is diabetic, which if true?? (you can't always believe everything you read in the papers lol), then she is quite right to say what she can or can't eat.

Jeez, I thought my mil was a snob, but she had nothing on this woman! lol

Mary

best bit is,,,the girls family has a little pedigree,,,,,,,,

Thanks for posting Hayley. Wondered what all the fuss was about, just cought the end of it on TV.

Wrt the early rising it could be that Heidi rose at 11am or at 8am when the family usually gets up at 7am. She has diabetes so maybe she has to control it through her diet, equally if dinner was served later than she was informed maybe she started to avoid going into hypoglycaemic shock, we don't know anything other than what is in the paper.

However, it's obvious that the SMIL has no class because anyone with would never comment on their guest's behaviour ;-)

Maybe thats the whole idea Rose, she has only been married her self in this great ***** family for 8 years herself... and to distance herself and her OH from his family.. :-(

Maybe thats the whole idea Rose, she has only been married her self in this great ***** family for 8 years herself... and to distance herself and her OH from his family.. :-(