General Chat

I really believe we need to take note of this information.


THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!
We Must Stop This Immediately

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!


And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?


I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.


I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!



Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the motorway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.



Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices?


The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?


I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning:

WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!

PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are also smaller than they once were.

Hear, hear.

Huia.

It has come here already, I am glad someone else has notice.


I will have to let others know as soon as poss.

Hazelx

I must let my friends know about this at once :) Cx.

And while I am loath to admit it, I do believe a younger person sent this to me!

That makes me feel better now

Hazelx

lmao :-)))))

They have also conspired to make the bathtub higher,the vacuum cleaner ten times heavier,and it is now impossible to get in the bottle for your medicine/bleach/weedkiller ect ect ect.

I seem to be living with a greyhaired, forgetful old man as well. I wonder what happened to the young fellow who used to live here??

that has to be the funniest thing I have read in ages!

Definitely worth a gentle nudge!

Thank you
xx

Lol

opps
The warning came too late
Its already happening here
pmsl

When you have cataract surgery( i was only 42 at the time )everyone looks so much older and wrinkley than I thought once I had the op and could see clearly. I thought I was the oldest Mum down at the Primary school pick up and then after op I wasnt It cheered me up no end.

The moral of this story is if any one has cataract surgery be prepared for everyone looking older after.

Also made OH start deccorating as I didnt realise how bad our paintwork looked before lol

Teresa

Funny,Auntie Sherlock,it's happening here too....

Must be some kind of conspiracy .....

The jar manufacturers are in it as well---jars are impossible to open,unless you are as strong as the Incredible Hulk,or Superman!

Perhaps now we should reflect on the things our mothers taught us. You know the information which help mould us into the people we are today.

WHAT I OWE MY MOTHER:


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I
just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
' Because I said so, that's why.'

5.My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry
about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your
neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
'You'll sit there until all that SOUP is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER ..
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you
out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in
this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do..'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18.
My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
to get stuck that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP .
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR .
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me..'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN
ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow
up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a tent?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favourite:
My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out
just like you '

Aunty Sherlock!!!!
You are so naughty, I 've just read your post and I feel like I've almost split my stitches, it was so funny. I am expecting hubby or eldest to come downstairs now and tell me off.
That was so good.

Hi BrummieHelen, Glad I've made you smile loudly. That little gem was sent by a work colleague. It is soooooo true. I have said all those things to my children, just as my mother did to me.

Love it.

AuntySherlock,
Haven"t laughed like this in ages.
Thanks for making my day,
Cath