General Chat

As we are nearing christmas, it can be a difficult time for all sorts of reasons. I was abused and I struggle with my own memories at christmas, that is not to say I do not enjoy it, I just thought this would be a good place to off load and share or chat to find some postive energy.

Paddi x

Hi Angie

Thank you for that wonderful message, I have a wonderful family eight kids, but its does not stop me remembering hard times, I posted hoping to support anyone else who maybe struggling.

Have a wonderful christmas and may 2009 bring very many special memories.

Paddi x

Hi Paddi

I too had a "bad" childhood and yes this time of year does bring it all back, I try very hard to put it to the back of my mind and concentrate on giving my 15 year old daughter the best childhood that I can. I want her to be able to look back on her childhood with a smile on her face.

I hope and pray that in time your memories will get poshed so far back that you hardly think. My heart goes out to you and your family and I hope that you have a "happy" Christmas.

Angie is so right
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi TeddyWelshTwinkleToes

I have to agree with you, I do the same, I watch my kids and wrap myself in their smiles, screams and totally excitement, (I do spoil them ~ now I have a mini credit crunch here at home lol) and it is wonderful.

Xmas day sit back and enjoy all the hard work you have achieved and give yourself a big hug, have a wonderful xmas and may 2009 bring you very special memories darling.

Valerie x

Hi Paddi

I don't think we've spoken before, extends hand of friendship, hi I'm Shimmer.

Mine is complicated yet reading what you just wrote to Teddy, I feel as though you've given me such a hug, I've fostered too and hearing those words,

'I watch my kids and wrap myself in their smiles, screams and totally excitement',

makes me feel so warm and fuzzy. Both of you have stopped the 'circle', made a fresh start. Would you mind if I gave you such a big hug, you are so important and loved, TWGT too, anyone who has achieved this and more,

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Actually, if you don't mind ... I wouldn't mind a hug too, tis hard at this time of year for me too.

Take care my friend

xxx Shimms xxx

Hi ChristmasPresentShimms

Bless You, This is why I have started this link, because there are so many unheard parents who are in the same boat, I like you was adopted and fostered which did not turn out too well, but we have survived and I send you great big FLUFFY HUGS,

like I say we have to wrap our self in our kids love and excitement, be proud of yourself and remember you have done enough.

Thank you for your hand in friendship that is very kind, Xmas morning when your kids get up sleep eyed and all excited, take a step back and tell yourself "you have done this, and put your arms around your self and squeeze".

In our home we have love tanks, to fill our love tanks we give each other huggles, I cry every xmas morning and when my kids ask why I am crying I tell them I am so proud of them as they have brought me so much love.

Have a wonderful Christmas, and may 2009 bring very special memories for you and your family.

Remember you are not alone darling.

Valerie x

Hi Carol B

I will most certainly look, as you say the children leave the nest soooooo quick, I have the age group of 22 years down to 2 and they are slowly stretching their wings, some have left, but I have all 8 here for xmas, so you can imagine the noise, mess, and dont even think about the washing up, but would I have it any other way .... NO

Christmas is all about the kids and if anyone wants a kid please come and collect some off of me... (only joking)

Thank you for your wishes and may you have a fanstatic christmas and may 2009 bring you warm and fluffy memories.

Valerie x

Valerie may I say how glad I am that you feel you can do this finally this year. I do hope that this thread will help others as previous years threads might have helped you post this today.
I wasn't abused nor did I struggle as a child but I did see it and can sympathize.
Good luck

Hi Carol B

I have just read it, whilst I have experienced exactly what the poem expresses, I am proud to say I have "Broken the Chain" and my kids live in a fear free world..... That I am so proud of.

However, saying that there are many children still stuck in the difficult life and I hope once I have completed my Web site, (I am struggling with techno stuff) I will be able to offer support.

Thank you again for allowing me to read it.

Love'n' Hugs

Valerie x

Hi Uzzi in Sunshine

I have many friends like yourself who have supported me, as I never really had parents, now I feel stronger and wiser, well that is pushing it a bit.

As I swaid to Carol B I have set up a web site, to help adults who are still surviiving and need support, so my next job is to find someone to help me expand my web site...

Thank you for your kind words and I wish all your family many fanstatic memories for 2009.

Love 'n' hugs
Valerie x

Hi Paddi,
I know just how you are feeling. I was abused from the age of 3 until 15, then was raped just before i was 16.

My only memories of christmas are rows between mum and dad as with there being 10 children wasnt alot of money to have a very good one. My dad couldnt work as of a illness.

I just hate christmas as it not a good time for me, as thats when family were round and then things happen what shouldnt have.

So you are very brave to come on here and say you you had to, i hope that its helped you in some way, and knowing that others may feel the same.

It was very hard for me to put this, but i know if it helps you then i have done some good. I have dealt with alot of mine with help of friends and strangers. Plus putting it down on paper get it out of you as well.

(((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))for you

Hi Treehunter

You are a very brave lady, I am sending you millions of hugs and I want you to embrace them all, this is for all the ones you missed.

I am so proud of you darling, I have sent you a PM

Love 'n' hugs darling

Valerie x

I think you are brilliant for being able to tell your past here.Well done.Hopefully you will encourage others to voice held back emotions,and to let them out.
Luckily I had a happy childhood so can't relate to what happened to you.
You will never forget,but maybe can help others by bringing this up.
It is a good way of telling things annonimously ,but just to let things out.
Talking is the best healer.
Helen xx

Hi Helen

Thank you for for words of encouragement, I have to agree because it is anonymous, I hope people can share their feelings and thoughts and no they are not alone.

Thank you again helen, heres wishing you a wonderful christmas and may 2009 bring you some special memories.

love'n' hugs

Valerie x

A few months ago a woman took her father to court accusing him of raping her as a child.She was going through Chemo at the time of the court case.Her Father was found guilty and sentenced to life (I think).Sadly she died last month.She had the guts to do it..I am so pleased that some of you are speaking out.Go for it girls it what I say!!!!!!!

Hi Helen

There are so many sad cases, and what is even more tragic is there are so many children still suffering and no one can hear their voices, I hope to give people a voice and hopefully start their journey to freedom.

Love Valerie x

I just meant Talk about things and not keep things bottled up.I am a good listener if anyone feel the need to unload.
Helen x

Hi Helen

I could not agree with you more, talking helps a great deal and that is wonderful you can otfer this support, thank you darling..

Love Valerie x

this is one of those threads that is both sad and uplifting - i was fortunate I know to have had a carefree childhood, not much money but love by the bucketload. All of you who have bared your souls on here are to be congratulated for having the courage to speak out and that in turn will encourage others to do likewise. So much is swept under the carpet so to speak where it just festers. Get it all out and that way hopefully you can move on - donlt let those b------ds who blighted your life have a hold on you in any way or they will have won. You were the victims but you can become the victors and hopefully they will rot in hellfire and damnation and never find peace. You are all so brave and you have my total admiration

Ann XXXXXXX

I think it helps us all knowing we are not alone,

It just didnt happen to us others have had to cope with it as well and still having to cope with it because its still going on out there.

((((((((((((((HUGS TO ALL)))))))))))))