General Chat

May I just put my pennyorth in.

Some people on here type in capitals for a very good reason, they are not shouting.

Thank you.

Tina
Now logging off so please dont expect a reply to my statement.
Thanks. Hope that was not too brusque, as I am well known for my brusqueness. lol

Well said by "claire in Wales", you helped me last year, when I appeared as a total numpty!LOL
xx
Edit
But I thanked you on all boards!!

nice one Joan!!! and I love your Christmas board name!!

Ann X

Meanwhile, back on the ranch.................let's go out and help these folk and remember.......... that whilst some may not know what they are doing and some may not be over endowed with good manners, we will not be deterred but grit our collective teeth and help them find their enthralling and missing rellies. After all, someone helped us.

Off to babysit now.

Someone mentioned that members may not be able to afford subs to the like of Ancestry-This facility is available free in most libraries so there is no excuse for people in the UK constantly asking for look up (note I say lookups NOT help)

The original question says that some people may be new-Yes we are aware of this hence when I used to do lookups I checked the membership number first. I agree that someone may have opened an acount 5 years ago & not used it until yesterday but cases like would be rare.

There is a certain amount of rudeness, I've seen people getting replies to requests but not bothering with a thanks just posting a further question. I've seen really good helpers being told they don't know what they are doing when they are actally brilliant

It's always worth remembering, if you are lucky enough to get some help from another member, your helper is risking loosing there GR account, their FMP or Ancestry subs cancelled & even a fine.

I suggest you treasure those good people who give up their time to help you as GR are loosing lots of experienced volunteers

I have to say that I sometimes add to a thread and then I go off to do something else. But I dont usually ask for help, and when I do come back to the boards the first thing I look at is My Threads to see if anybody has replied to my comments.

I would sometimes find it difficult, being in a different time zone from the majority of members, to hang around waiting for replies. I hope nobody has ever thought me rude. I try not to be. Although there was one person on Ancestry who thought my message was 'rude and acidic' when I told her my sister did not marry a man who was b 176 yrs before her own father. Cant remember the wording I used, but when I re-read it a year later it did not seem rude to me. I had also said I would like her to remove my sister and her ancestors from her tree. She said I had no right to DEMAND I remove anybody from her tree. I was on a 3 day free trial so I did make the message short and simple to say she had a major error in her tree, since there were 80 or more people I had to contact. Brevity is obviously a way to seem rude. As somebody else said, some of us are very busy.

Huia (off now to do some h.......k before I go out for the day.)

Sorry, that was me and that exactly illustrates what I said in my post and I fell foul of it myself. I did not explain fully what I meant.

I didn't mean that Claire had said she was new, she actually said some people were new. what i should have said was that Claire could not be new therefore she should know that body language or the lack of it was a big problem on here.

surprising (or not) how people like to 'stir the pot' though.

Ann
Glos

I never said you said it, futher back someone said she couldnt be a newby with her membership so low

thought you only got stoned if you uttered the word

JEHOVAH


xx
surf

Claire hasn't said shes a new member, she said some people are new members and are just starting out

I just love doing look ups for people and get a real buzz when I find something - extremely pleasurable I find - but there is no need whatsoever for people to be rude

Ann

That's ok. But I am sure there are some that think 'Now why would I want to pay when there are people out there who will get me the info for free?'

Sometimes people don't subscribe because they truly can't afford it. we used to have a couple of students on here, penniless but interested in their family history. nobody minded helping them.

ann
Glos

Dont need to name & shame anyone.

You look, you think ''Can i work that out/help/whatever''

then you think to yourself

''Ah, I could, but I wont, just in case he/she doesnt like the way I reply & decides to try & publicly humiliate me.''

Just dont need that sort of agrro, thanks all the same

That'd good then. Personally, I cannot understand why, if people are so interested in tracing their family history, they don't subsribe to the necessary sites and pay as most people do. It's different if people have looked for themselves and need help but to just free load, relying on others generous nature is another matter.

Anne - with the multiple threads thing, I think people think assume that if it's all over the place then more people will see it. Not realising that you have had each thread working independently probab;y finding the same information.

I think alot of it is down to education. Have to bear in mind that not everyone knows how to use forums, each forum is different and it is very easy to get frustrated on a site like this where people are helping off their own back.

Just think everyone needs to be a bit more aware of how they post / answer to threads because like it has already been said, you can't see people's body language or hear their tone, so you can never be sure how something is going to be read by others.

And as for the truly rude people, just stop helping them. Theer are plenty of people on here that are truly grateful for any shred of info they can find - me being one of them :D

I don't think the name and shame route is allowed in terms and conditions. but people who are 'not nice' regularly are soon sussed out by regular helpers.

Hey! Perhaps we should have a 'name and shame' board. That way regular helpers know who to avoid.

I have just received a rather unpleasant message from a member on Trying to Find - she has posted three identical threads all looking for the same people - lots of feedback for her but no acknowledgement to anyone as yet - when it was discovered she had three threads on the go EvieBeavie sent her a message explaining how to do things in great detail - no reply. I sent her a message asking her could she tell me why she had three threads on the go all for the same family, causing people to do research on all three threads. The reply I received just now was not nice at all - she accused me of being paranoid and throwing my toys out of the pram!!!! One person I shall not be helping again for sure

Anne in Gloss,

Perfect Explanation ...