General Chat

Things happen in our lives, people do and say things to us that we do not like and feel are uncalled for. We get 'done over' in business and in our personal lives or close friends and rellies do things that hurt us.

So my question is...how do we get through life relatively unscathed?

How do you deal with these things and stop yourself becoming bitter and twisted about it?

I'm already bitter and twisted !

If you see a fight in the street do you join in or walk away ?I I walk away every time, as its not my arguement and I dont want to be involved.

Last song on the monty python life of brian sums up how you get over stuff. Lifes shit then you die.

I just dont forgive/forget and I wont talk to anyone who hurts my family. But I dont waste time over it either.

I looked in on here cos I thought you were giving the answer!! LOL

Lindsey aww don't be bitter and twisted..it is such a wasted emotion

I like to think i forgive...but i know i dont forget lol

life is too precious to waste time stewing over things that have past....when there is so much too look forward to ahead lol

well thats my thought for the day anyway haha

You dont get through life unscathed...... its the things that happen along the path of life that shapes us into who we are and how we learn.

There is no need to be bitter and twisted though....if you spend too long looking at the door that has just slammed in your face you wont see the new one opening further up the hallway.

We learn we develop and we are shaped by what happens in our lives - thats what makes us who we are.

If life didnt throw things at us and we didnt have to struggle or develop we would all be the same. How boring that would be.

Good Morning dont know your name

my answer to that is.when a problem hits you deal with it.

Three bins

Bin 1 yours
deal with problems ASAP.

Bin 2 if family and friends, try to help, if not put it back in there bin,

Bin 3 trouble makers, its stays in there bin you dont need the trash.

just my opinion.

There are just a few little grudges I like to hold comfortably to my heart and will not let them go. But otherwise, I think that whatever you give out to the Universe, you get back twofold. So I generally prefer to have a positive rather than a negative attitude in life. Even the word "bitter" is rather nasty isnt it?

*phew have just had a coffee rush. Please forgive my philosophising, Webster:-) lol BC XX

lol Joan

i like the 3 bins

Jo x

off to work now...may need a couple of extra bins for there though haha

Anger at unfairness and injustice is natural and can be cathartic as long as you don't hold on to it.

I always try to let go and leave it to karma, but I don't forget.

Gwynne

I am fortunate as in... I am very laid back and don't allow myself to get bitter and twisted. I do have my say if I find it necessary but that's the end of it as far as I am concerned. I can quite easily walk away. xxx

When you find out Webster....................there are a few on here you could enlighten.xxx

good one granny x

I never allow anything to consume me to a point where it interferes with my thinking that way its easy to put distance and see it as unimportant.or none life threatening,,

Good Morning Jo,

I have been very hurt by someone close to me recently who I would have trusted above all others.

At this moment in time I am very, very bitter.

I am hoping that as time goes on the hurt and bitterness will lessen and my inate positivity will return.

I think the problem is that, although the rift may be healed with the passing of time, the relationship will never be the same again which is so sad.

If anyone can let me know how to get rid of the
bitter feelings I have I will be eternally grateful.

Jean x.

But words do hurt though..................they can make a vulnerable person or child deeply unhappy.

As we mature and gain confidence we know that no matter what a person says about us, it doesn't change who we are, but for a few, words can have a devastating effect.

In my life I follow the example set by my parents...........if I have fallen out with someone, I will always talk it through with them and either agree to disagree on that point and stay friendly, or move on and accept that that person and I are never meant to be friends.

I do forgive, as holding a grudge or being bitter stops me moving past the hurt.

The past should stay in the past, we need to look to the future and aim to make it a good one for ourselves and those around us.

If I have had the 'dirty' done over me unjustifiably I neither forgive or forget BUT I do not allow it to 'take over' me or my life. I literally put it in the back of the filing cabinet that is my mind, and there it stays. It may surface from time to time, but not often. As far as I am concerned anything filed at the back of the cabinet doesn't warrant getting out too often...... if you see what I mean !!

Passing through life there are bound to be things and people that cause us hurt. I try to be positive and forgive those who hurt me. I wont say I forget though but I try not to let it consume me. Bitterness is a very negative emotion, far better to get angry then decide to put it behind us.

I look on my life as a tapestry, every event is a stitch in the overall pattern and I am sure nothing happens without a reason. Looking back at times when I have been hurt I would say there was a reason and I learnt a lesson from what happened. Now I remember the lesson but I am not bitter about what happened. I don't hold grudges, I prefer to live my life looking forward. Life is too short to make ourselves unhappy by bearing grudges.

But I am also a great believer in you reap what you sow or Karma so try hard not to hurt other people myself.

Ann
Glos

I am lucky to have been born with a sunny disposition and loving nature........and a sense of humour........this has seen me well through my 60 years of life, and I am not a bitter or resentful or jealous person..........if you are happy within yourself, then really nothing can touch you......

Life has a nasty habit of biting you in the bum, perhaps I have been lucky and swerved at the right time.....

Sorry to hear that Jean, whatever has happened to hurt you so, you don't deserve it!

I have been hurt (haven't we all on this rocky old road of life), and I've been angry, upset, and perhaps even bitter, but it doesn't last for long.

Once my anger and hurt has lessened, I find the bitterness goes, somehow.

Besides, so very many good things happen why would I want to waste energy dwelling on the things that fill me with resentment and anger?

Dee
x