General Chat

Has anyone any advice for my daughter please.

Her partner walked out on Christmas day 2 years ago leaving my daughter & 2 beautiful girls then aged 9 & 6 with a mountain of unpaid bills for utilities ( electric, oil, phone etc ) and also a large catalogue bill that he had built up ( in my daughter's name) unpaid rent & council tax etc etc etc, which was in joint names..
She had to go on benefits straight away as she had no income of her own at that time. My husband & myself paid all the outstanding bills/rent etc for her to allow her to continue using the utilities & have a roof over their heads. He has never phoned to speak to the girls or made any attempt to pay anything for their upkeep or see them except to send them a birthday card
The CSA told her that they would contact him. They found him & deducted about £36 in total from him & then he packed his job in.
Recently, my daughter found a job to work around school hours and knowing that her ex had moved and started another job(through the grapevine) she contacted the csa again to be told that she was entitled to £ 22 for each child per week & that arrangements had been made with him to set up a standing order every month for the money to go in my daughters bank account, starting 8th january. No money was paid so after endless calls to the csa again they told her they had arranged for it to be started on 8th February. No money was paid. After another round of calls to them they said there is nothing they can do. What??????
Surely they must be able to deduct this from his wages or something, we hear from absent fathers in the papers saying the csa are deducting colossal amounts from their wages etc etc etc for children that they don't get to see, so why can't they do that to him? My daughter is really struggling for money and now the girls are getting older, everything is so much more expensive, she needs help. We are no longer in a position to help her.
I know she is not the only one and that there is thousands like her but surely there is something she can do.
Any Advice would be gratefully received.

Regards
Kath

have no experience of this whatsoever [I'm happy to say] but I would be thinking along the lines of contacting my MP, local Councillor and anyone else I could think of and keep on contacting them until they were sick to the back teeth of me and force them to do something just to keep me off their backs!!!

I would like to give you some advice, but as someone who has just had a legal battle with the CSA and won I feel I should not make any comment as I may be banned for my language.
Do not get me wrong, you should be getting support from the father. My son did, and still does aged 18 !
I would suggest that maybe the CAB may be able to give you some advice.

Hi Ann,
Thank you for your advice, that is a good idea.
I really can't understand why any man's concience would allow them to sit back and expect the state and other people to provide for his children. These types of people are the scum of the earth as far as I'm concerned.
I am praying something can be done, she is so upset & in desperate need of help.

Thanks once again
Kath

Thank you Laptop Dancer, I will tell her to give the CAB a ring.
When you say you had a legal battle with the CSA, would it be expensive to try & force them to get the money from the father?

Regards
Kath

Kath, the only way they can get money from the father is if he is working, and yes they can get an attachment of earnings to take it directly from his salary.
It is much like many debts in society, there are many loopholes to avoid payment. I am aware that there have been fathers who gave up working to avoid paying it, as they were better off on dole than working and having maintainence deducted.

Hi Kath
I had a friend in a similar situation, she went to her x's workplace and asked to speak to his boss " to see if he could get the wage dept. to take money from his wages directly and send it to the CSA, as she wasn't receiving any support for both his children" all of this was done in front of several of x's co workers. His boss said sorry their wasn't much he could do to help, but was very pleasent. A couple of weeks later payments began!! Perhaps he had been shamed into paying after several years of not paying a penny!! The payments are still continuing, not a very subtle method but it seemed to work!
This may not be applicable to your daughter,but best wishes to her anyway
Christine

Hi Christine,
If he lived nearer I think my daughter might have done that. I agree that it was probably shame that made your friends ex start paying up.
Knowing my daughters ex very well, I just know in my heart that he will never pay, he is too busy going on holiday to the caribean with his new girlfriend and living the life of riley.
I just keep thinking that what goes around comes around & hope that one day he realises that his daughters do not respect him because of the way he is. However, that does not help the present situation.

Thanks again for your advice Christine.
Regards
Kath

keep us posted on how things go Kath - we would all like to know how you get on and if there is anything more we can help you with

Kath, your daughter could always try a sneaky trick. Get her children to write a letter to their dad telling him how they are and how they would like to go somewhere or buy something but they have no money to do it !

like it, like it very much indeed!!!

Kath,

The CSA can send to the absent parents employer to arrange a 'deduction of earnings order'. Basically they write to his employer, tell them to deduct the money due before they pay him, the employer then sends the money to your daughter. The employer has the right to make a reasonable charge to your 'ex-son-in-law' which is also deducted direct from his salary.

Your daughter will then be dealing with the CSA as they will be acting as imtermediary. The only thing with this is that if he is for example paid on the 8th of every month. The employer will deduct the £22 (and their charge) due on the day they send his money to the bank. The portion to go to the CSA should be sent on the same day. The CSA then has to take about 10 working days to process the payment and then another 10 working days to send it to your daughter.

Hope this makes sense.

love T.x

My ex walked out when my daughter was 4, leaving a £600 phone bill behind him for me to try to pay.
My daughter is now 11 and despite living in the same town only sees her dad a few times a year when he's kind enough to make time for her.

In all those years he has never given me a penny in maintenance.

When i contacted the CSA they 'investigated' the matter and wrote back to me saying that as he lives off less than £5 per week he doesn't have to pay anything.

I told them he was definately working and told them where but as he was working cash in hand there was naff all they could do.

The whole system is corrupt and ridiculous.

xx

Hi Theresa,
She has spoken to lots of different people at the CSA and one told her they could do that if he didn't pay and that they would be keeping their eye on things. When the money was not forthcoming, she called again and was told that he hasn't paid it and there's nothing they can do.
After the advice from you all today, I will tell her to contact them again and also contact her MP.

Thank you once again
Regards
Kath

Hi Sunshine Bear,
Your ex sounds very like my daughters ex and I totally agree that the whole system stinks.
I feel for the poor blokes who are being ripped of by their ex's with the csa, paying massive amounts of money which is out of order, and then you get these little weasels getting away without paying a single penny. It is all wrong.
I will do everything in my power to help my daughter get this sorted out for the sake of my two granddaughters.

Thanks again
Regards
Kath

Hi again Ann,
Yes, I will keep you posted about the outcome and thank you for your concern & advice.

Regards
Kath

Got to go outfor a while, I'll pop back on later.
Many thanks
Kath

Kath

Take a look at CSA website

http://www.csa.gov.uk/en/setup/using-csa.asp

ive a slightly different take on this,my son has his daughter the same amount of time as his ex,he buys her anything she needs,shoes coats clothes horseriding lessons dancing lessons school clothes the lot.as she lives with a druggy he said he wont pay her a penny.and hes stuck to that.
he says he wont pay for his habit.
xxx

I too would like to know how some get away with it..as my OH pays nearly £400. per month for 1 child, and is left with less than that for the 2 we have at home