General Chat

The unfortunate reality I guess is no matter where you live in the world the problems are the same.
decent guys pay for there kids and are often dealt to by the CSA as they are toothless to do anything about the useless ones so they thrash the ones they have.
Meanwhile any man that chooses not to pay child support simply dosent.
They spend their lives wangling there way out of it,often with new partners giving them full assistance to hide money and assets.
I realise this dosnt help your daughter much but it is really just the reality.
Getting an opposition mp involved can be a good move especially right before and election.
She could ride the CSA which some people do by phoning every few days(squeaky wheel and all that)but does she really want to give him that much energy!!!.
I let my ex annoy me for years ,we have a system where they can be stopped leaving the country if they have oustanding debt,he would make an arrangement with them to pay so they would flag the system and let him through then he would drop the payments when he got home.His wife owned there house and she must have been quite ambidextrous as she owned and drove 3 cars while he had none.
In the end I just decided to let go of it as the anger made me stew inside.
My son has grown up with no input from his father,he knows evrything we have comes from me and his stepfather.
All his love and paternal effort comes from his stepfather.
I asked him if he wanted to find or see a picture of his father once and he said why would I want to see that W*****
Yes we struggled until I married again but we are ok,what goes around comes around his wife is trying for a baby,then it will be her turn to discover all the girlfriends and her turn to have someone hide all his assetts for her and the ex well he will be a lonely old man.
Regards Tania
PS dont get the kids to contact him,the less they see him the better money or no money,hes not going to miraculously morph into a nice guy

Joan - it was still happening in the 70's...My ex husband was supposed to pay maintenance for our daughter, through the court...he stopped doing this, owed £1,000 & went to prison for 3months...wiping the debt! (never could work out how him going to prison clothed our daughter)

Kath
My ex son in law walked out on his family 7 years ago at first they had a verbal agreement to pay £50 a week to them, which he did most of the time
Then he got himself a lady friend so the payments became very sporadic and then fizzled out all together
My daughter contacted the CSA and they said they would get the payments for her needless to say he didn't pay, Then they told her they were going to take his car ,go into his business premises to see what his assests were.Then if he failed to comply with the order for payment he would have either to pay up or go to jail that was 2years ago and he hasn't been to jail and there has been no money until just before last Christmas when £20 was paid there hasn't been anything since
My daughter has managed without the payments but at times she gets a bit annoyed because he hasn't fulfilled his obligations to his children ,but spends money on his new partners kids and is always changing his car

One of my relations also had experience of non payment for her daughter she went to the CSA and they decided that a payment of £5 would be in order because her ex partner had lost his well paid job and was working as a market trader

The CSA just don't seem to care if the mother is working and gets family tax credits

Bren

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Hi Joan,
So if they would deduct it from her tax credits then she is in a no win situation full stop!
I am angry because these girls need things that my daughter can't afford although she is working and trying to look after her family single handedly, and this b* of a person is living the life of riley. His parents live near the girls and see them but they have never made any effort to help buy them clothes or with funds for school trips at £10 a time etc.
It really makes my blood boil.

Thanks for your input Joan, it's much appreciated.
Regards
Kath

Thanks Krystyna

Regards
Kath

No. They don't take that into account at all.They've got something right.

Hi Carole,
She is not on income support now as she is working but gets some tax credits.
If he paid ( if-if-if ) would they deduct it from her tax credits?

Kath

I do not know a lot about this...but what I do know is that she would be no better off by getting the money from him via the CSA...as that same amount would be deducted from her Income Support.

I know this because my daughter's ex has never had to pay a penny, up till now as he is on Incapacity Benifit + Carers + Mobility...amounting to more than she got for herself & 2 children!
This is about to change, as there has been a change in rules about attatchments.

Hi everyone,
Yes, I think the CSA is targetting some and not others from what I have read above. mostly honest, hard working people who genuinely want to pay for their children and are being penalised severely for that and those that don't want to, seem to get away with it. I will see her later tonight & will let you know what she says.

Thanks for all your advice

Regards
Kath

Kath - firstly sorry to hear of your daughter's situation. What I'd like to say to her ex isn't for this board! lol
I thought this was what the CSA were set up for, in my naivity. Anyway, what I was going to suggest was, that as well as your daughter contacting her MP, to TELL the CSA that that's what she's doing. That's usually enough of a kick up the backside to make them take notice.
Good luck - I hope she gets the outcome she so deserves. :-))))
And I hope he does, too. :-((((
x

Hi,
When I had my son, I was on benefits as the father was now my ex (thank god!). I was told that as long as I was on benefits, I would get any money I was entitled to. Only snag is, is that I was no better off as they take what the absent parent gives off your benefits.Me sis on the other hand, has been battling with the CSA for years as her ex told them he doesn't work. She said she can even prove it with wage slips. As far as we're concerned they don't want to know because she works.
My current partner however, has been forced to pay the maintenance through solicitors correspondence as a result of of a divorce. Incidently, me sis and I never married the ex's. But just goes to show how different all our experiences are.
Would also like to add that my ex took a low paid job when the claim was going through so he wouldn't have to pay as much. I informed them that he was now earning more, but it wasn't reviewed.

Krystyna

12 yrs ive been trying i gave her dad the oppertunity to help out privatley but he wouldnt, ive told them where he lives works everything and every time i ring they say the case is closed they have to reopen it , yet my husban my carer has to pay his ex its so unfare like everything with the benefit system some weeks we cant even afford the heating on yet his ex works and her partner she wanted the split but we get penalised , they target specky cause they have his address thro benifitsx

ahhhhhhhh,well son says i pay for all her needs,but i aint paying for no druggy.
xx

Jupiter, that is similar to my take. I had set up a private maintaince agreement with my ex wife, and although it ended when my son reached 18, I still provide for him.
The reason I took CSA to court was because they wanted to take from me as well !!

I too would like to know how some get away with it..as my OH pays nearly £400. per month for 1 child, and is left with less than that for the 2 we have at home

ive a slightly different take on this,my son has his daughter the same amount of time as his ex,he buys her anything she needs,shoes coats clothes horseriding lessons dancing lessons school clothes the lot.as she lives with a druggy he said he wont pay her a penny.and hes stuck to that.
he says he wont pay for his habit.
xxx

Kath

Take a look at CSA website

http://www.csa.gov.uk/en/setup/using-csa.asp

Got to go outfor a while, I'll pop back on later.
Many thanks
Kath

Hi again Ann,
Yes, I will keep you posted about the outcome and thank you for your concern & advice.

Regards
Kath

Hi Sunshine Bear,
Your ex sounds very like my daughters ex and I totally agree that the whole system stinks.
I feel for the poor blokes who are being ripped of by their ex's with the csa, paying massive amounts of money which is out of order, and then you get these little weasels getting away without paying a single penny. It is all wrong.
I will do everything in my power to help my daughter get this sorted out for the sake of my two granddaughters.

Thanks again
Regards
Kath