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Nora Webster - Colm Tóibín
Having read Colm Tóibín ’s Brooklyn which I enjoyed immensely I was looking forward to this book from Penguin and Genes Reunited. And I think my familiarity with Tóibín’s style was an advantage.
I suppose this novel could be described as a study in grief which renders the intent as more simplistic than it actually is.
For anyone who has undergone the grief process it is tacit that we all deal with it differently and everyone’s way is valid. grief doesn't come with an instruction manual.
This book is an unravelling both for Nora, as she learns to deal with her loss and us, the reader, as we learn to deal with Nora and understand where she’s at.
Initially I didn’t warm to Nora, the opening paragraphs dealing with her response to her constant flow of visitors struck me as cold. But as her circumstances unfold my feelings changed.
Grief can make an individual selfish and I felt that many of Nora’s actions were maybe not characteristic of her in a ‘normal; state. The selling of the house in Cush seemed a rash action and probably more financial than emotional. We learn further on in the book that Nora has been unable to get rid of Maurice’s clothes but she did get rid of the house which must have held many memories. In a rational state of mind she might have consulted the children as to whether she should sell the house but grief and rational are not good bedfellows.
My earlier point about how selfish grief can make us is detrimental for Conor and Donal. I felt myself go quite cold when I learnt that Nora had left them with Josie for such a long time when Maurice was ill and obviously dying. As much as he was Nora’s husband he was their father too and the experience of that loss and the temporary, geographical loss of their mother must have a profound effect on the boys so whilst Josie had a point in highlighting Nora’s absence I don't think it helped much after the event.
When people die young some take comfort from the fact that their beauty will never wither, other affirm that it is too young to die. It’s a point of view, no more, no less. Nora believes the former, Jim and Margaret the latter.
When one half of a partnership is no more the remaining party has to try and redefine themselves in a sense and I think this is the catalyst for Nora’s hair change and then the subsequent fear of what others may think. Historically in western culture mourning for women had a set period and a set costume and woe betide any who transgressed this. I think Nora is wondering whether she has followed the protocols for stereotypical grief and mourning. She experiences a similar crisis of decision when she considers the purchase of records and equipment.
When your present become distorted as grief can do, the past takes on a different emphasis, we are reminded of this when Nora reacquaints herself with the Gibneys and Francie Kavanagh.
I think that as one become accustomed to grief the self absorption starts to take its place within an awareness of others . On the beach holiday Nora begins to consider the effect that the tragic events have had upon her sons.
In a marriage or partnership one becomes accustomed to being part of that union. To stand alone again requires a deal of introspection and to reinvent one’s sense of self. I think Nora does this in many ways and shows a deal of sensitivity when a newly found assertion conflicts with the established assertion of another as in the incident with Francie cutting up the files. Similarly Nora’s attendance at the Union meeting. although possibly ill advised as she concluded afterwards it is another act of independence that required no consultation with anyone. And in a less obvious way Nora’s discovery of her singing potential is another individual and independent pursuit.It is similar for Donal and his photography, without his father he turns to something else to become absorbed in.
But being widowed young must be similar to having the rug pulled out from under you with no warning and however intrusive well intentioned people may have become to her she needs a rock to cling to and it is Josie who is that rock, possibly subconsciously but it is Josie to whom she entrusts her boys and Josie to whom she turns when she becomes unwell.
One of the interesting things about a novel like this is that we do not know Nora BEFORE Maurice died, we have no way of knowing the extent that the loss has changed her. But where the rest of the family seem keen to keep events secret from Nora indicates a level or protection, but is it for themselves or is it for Nora?
The closing stages of the book offer much food for thought and again it is down to individual belief and experience as to how we respond. Those who have strong, spiritual beliefs will believe that Maurice did come to visit her and it was this visit that allowed her to let go of his clothes and burn his letters for the belief that she actually saw him is evidential of life in spirit. On the other hand those who have no such belief will put it down to her medication, the pain, the insomnia. Its a personal thing and a clever device of the writer for we can only put our own interpretation on this.
How you see yourself through times of crisis compared to how others see you is very different. And peoples’ motives for association can be questionable. Some people genuinely felt sympathy for Nora, others probably felt a sense of duty, others, like Mrs. Lacey had another motive.
But I return to my opening premise; we all deal with grief differently. This is one person’s story, very well written, the prose could almost be described as plain but the paradox is that it has a compelling richness to it.
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Colm Toibin has a knack of introducing us to an ordinary person, then slowly and insightfully, peeling away the layers they present to the outside world, until we understand what makes them tick. This is the third work of his I have read.
Nora is a 40-something woman, newly widowed at the start of the book. Her husband, Maurice was a loved and respected high school teacher and Nora has lived her married life as housewife and mother to their four children, as indeed women tended to do in the mid decades of the 20th century. The two older daughters are away from home, one at boarding school, the other at Teachers’ College. During Maurice’s two-month illness Nora devoted all her time to him, leaving her two sons in the care of an elderly aunt. Strangely, Nora did not visit, or even call, her sons at all during this time, and they have returned home worried and upset. Conor, the younger has been wetting his bed, and Donal has developed a stutter and has nightmares.
They have spent their entire lives living in Enniscorthy and Nora finds the constant visits from friends and neighbours quite intrusive after a time. Memories of happy holidays at their holiday home in Cush are just too much for her to deal with and without discussing the decision with the children, Nora sells that house to supplement the relatively meagre widows’ pension she receives, and to ensure that she can keep the car.
Maurice’s unmarried brother and sister are large in her life, already giving financial support for the two older girls, they build a photographic dark-room in their house for budding photographer Donal, and later offer to pay his fees to boarding school. Nora’s own sisters are around, but do not seem overly close. They keep secrets from her, including the news of the engagement of one of her sisters. Their mother had an overbearing interest in the lives of her daughters and Nora has accordingly been determined not to do the same with her children. This makes her seem often disinterested in them and unaware of the difficulties they face in adjusting their lives to the new circumstances, although she fiercely defends Conor’s rights when his headmaster demotes him to a lower class at school, even to the extent of threatening to picket the school.
Someone suggests that Nora should return to the bookkeeping job she had prior to marriage so she visits the company owners, who she now knows socially, in their big expensive house and is offered work similar to what she had previously done. Her supervisor is a single woman to whom Nora and her friend had been when they were all young and working together. Nora has a run-in with the woman and walks out of work. The company owners arrange for her to return but not under the supervision of this woman.
Nora is starting to find her own voice. She takes up singing lessons and gets her hair coloured – then panics at the thought of people thinking it inappropriate – she buys new clothes, joins a gramophone-listening group and falls in love with classical music. She buys some records and a record player, though worrying that people will think she is over-spending.
Set beneath this are stories of The Troubles and suspicion between Catholics and Protestants, the burning of the British embassy which they fear daughter Aine may have become involved with, and the whole extended family search successfully for the missing Aine. The moon landing is big news as well, and Donal is intent on capturing this historic moment with his camera, photographing events from the television set at the local hotel, again Nora coming to his rescue when he is thrown out of the hotel as he is not a paying guest.
At the end of the book, Nora has come to terms with events enough that she allows her sisters to clear out Maurice’s clothes and personal possessions. She then burns the letters that he had written to her before they were married.
I didn't really identify with Nora and her family, but overall I enjoyed the book and gave it 4 stars. I'm grateful to Genes Book Club for sending me a copy.
:-)
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Not the type of book I would normally buy to read but I was entrigued to find out how it would end for Nora. It was ok for a bit of light reading before bed but it took me ages to read as I kept dozing off when nothing was happening. It was a bit like reading the diary of someone who hasn't experienced much in life & is then faced with the death of the centre of her world & needs to discover there is life without them.
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Sorry I can't answer all those questions as I finished O level English literature nearly 50 year ago! However, I'll give a few impressions of the book if that's ok! The book is gentle and summed up Norah since she had been married. During the book we discover that she hadn't always given that impression to those around her. She has been governed by her husband's feelings in everything, and gradually comes out of her shell. The author is obviously keen on classical music, and Norah's love of music returns with her joining the music club and having singing lessons. We learn that if life had been different, she would have studied at music college but life and marrying young altered that. This resonates with me because my mother would have been an opera singer, had she not joined the WAAF during the war, and met and married my father at the end instead of studying further. A lovely book gradually leading us through the blossoming and discovery of the 'real' Norah. :-)
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