General Chat

Colin, so sorry your parents had this to contend with at Christmas. It seems your sister was trying emotional blackmail. But parents wont take the risk that she is serious. Obviously she needs professional help, but she has to decide that for herself. I have had no dealings with drug users/addicts, but I assume that once they need a fix that is all they can see so that is not the time to reason with them. Is anyone able to reason with her when she is lucid?

I would say that you must put your own family first, you have children, they are your first responsibility as well as Hayley and your grandchild. I think you have tried to help and now it is your family's time for a bit of peace and you have no need to feel guilty. You will 'feel' for your parents but they too must make their own decisions. Such a shame for them at any time of year but Christmas is worse.

(((hugs)))

Ann
Glos

Colin, having seen someone I know go through similar only the girl did the deed without warning her parents, I can only sympathise and hope your sister one day realises she has to accept the rehab help and stay strong enough to kick the habit for ever. I feel for your parents but can also completely understand your own feelings too.
I am coping with something similar altho on a much smaller scale thank goodness and this will be the year I walk away.
Good luck to you and your family and hope the New Year brings better things for you all.
Lizx

Hi Annie, Rose, Gwen and Linda :)

Sorry to hear some of you have had problems also. I dont think those that do this to us understand the feeling it leaves us all with, whilst they walk about today as though nothing has happened, we all walk about feeling exhausted and drained.

It just cannot carry on like this for me any longer. I felt so angry at times at christmas seeing about 7 family members and their families have their christmas ruined by this, I have asked for this particular sister not to even be anywhere near me should i decied to vist, many of the family are of the same opinion so no problem there with the visting but arrangements will now have to be made with the others before I go there.

Hi Colin

For the second year running I decided not to have anything to do with my brother.

I was easier this year than last. Some of the family were saying 'He's all his own at Christmas' and my answer was, which shocked them all, 'Well you bl**dy well have him then'

Needless to say they all went in and 'shut their front doors'.

It will get easier.. but I do feel for you.

Linda

COLIN,
EVERY THING BECOMES HARDER
AND HARDER

BUT WHAT YOUR FAMILY ARE GOING THROUGH,IS UNBEARABLE

Hi Frances :)

Thank you for your reply, you have my sympathy also, Drink related problems are equally as bad. I feel at this moment that we can only try our best for so long or until it has such an effect on our own immediate families to the extent we ended up arguing amongst ourselves that time has come to say. lets keep ourselves together we can do no more then that.

Colin, I thank God I have no experience of the devastation drug addiction causes within a family.
But I have seen enough of it to know that nothing anyone else does can help until the addict decides to help themself.

I am sure you and family have done everything within your power to help already. That well-worn phrase 'tough love' may be very hard but maybe now it is the only thing to do,for all your sakes.

Rose xx

Hear hear Colin.I have troubles with my son (not the same as your sisters)but very disturbing and so far have not spoken to him in over a week and his christmas pressie to me is still under the tree.The same goes for my other half.I dont care if i never speak to them again.Annie

Colin

Can relate but the problem was drink in this case and there does does come a time when you think enough is enough.

Good Luck in whatever action you may decide on but never feel guilty it 's not your doing.

Frances

Do we ever really become hardened to it, or does it still affect us when something goes wrong. Can we cope

This Christmas has seen a fair bit of trouble crop up, familywise that is. A very much younger sister who I dont have much dealing with but who is on heavy drugs and decided to tell mum and dad on Christmas eve that she was going to end it all this christmas.
This led to many other members of the family becoming involved as each one heard about it.

Of course as parents, worry and stress sets in and a sense of guilt that they should have done more. What more could mum and dad have done that they hadnt done already. Standing by her when she was in rehab numerous times, standing by her when she was in prison through vicious actions, Seeing countless times when going back on drugs and turning nasty against them because they said they didnt have money. My own reaction was one that might surprise you all but never the less I will say it again.

My own reaction was as a drug addict she was looking for the next fix. once mum and dad were manipulated again enough to give in and give her money allegedly for shopping and then seeing an instant reaction a few hours later of happiness and light. A vicious circle begins again.

Am I right in saying I dont want to hear no more, ive picked up enough pieces of this, ive seen enough arguments caused in my own family this christmas through this, its time to say enoughs enough.

Colin