General Chat

I have stopped worrying about getting to visit my son's grave, which is a 7 hour drive from here. he's always with me, never forgotten, when i do visit (in better weather) I always scatter a package of Forget-me-not seeds on his grave. I do the same for my parents grave, a 4 hour drive. They know I am thinking about them, driving in frigid weather is an unneccessary risk I don't need to take. After 37 years(my son), 36 years (my father) and 7 years (my Mum), they remain a very present part of my life.
I was deeply saddened to visit my paternal grandparents grave in North Wales a few years ago now - to see the area so neglected, I weeded the plot but the wording is all but gone. Regardless,they are not forgotten, and although absent, have had a significant effect on my life. Mary

We also have a visit to make, and it is freezing. I don't know if I can.

But you Jax.... you will go when you are ready.

bless you.
Deanna X

Sorry!! my reply went out of sequence so didnt make sense so I deleted.

Know how you feel...I was so pleased that my Daughter & Grand Daughter came with me yesterday...I buy fresh flowers every 2 weeks(Sainsburys last that long)...if the weather is bad...or if I cannot cope with taking them...I keep them here but think of them as theirs.

Dont forget the spirits of our loved ones arent at the place we left them but are with us all the time, so there is no need to feel upset or ashamed that you cant face visiting their grave. They understand and feel your love. Keep them in your hearts and in your minds thats all they ask. Kindest regards to all those who have lost a loved one

Thankyou Joy, Dianne and Vods xxxxxx

Im going off for a bath thankyou all once again xxxxxx

AW Jax. Don't feel bad. Your mum and dad know you still think of them every day. I don't get to the cemetery as often as I should, because it is so far from where I live, but I don;t have to go just to remember my parents. They are in my heart every day.
Like Dizzi, when I do go, I still cry, and it's 10yrs and 36yrs, so never feel guilty.

You will go when you feel the time is right.

xxxx

Hi Jax

I know how you feel. I've just come back from the cemeteries a few minutes ago. My Mam and Gran are in one village, and my Mother and Father In Law are in a nearby village. We laid 2 holly wreaths on each grave. Somehow its far more emotional at this time of year than it is to put flowers on the graves during summer. It is nice though that they can still have a 'Christmas Present' from us.

Dianne xx

Very, very normal, Jax.

Thankyou all, seems there are a few of us all feeling the same. At least we have each other for support xx

(((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))) to all of you.

Love

Jax xx

Jax

Your not alone........I have been and fetched flowers and a wreath for my Mum and my grandparents today, due to go tomorrow but the thought of going is making me very sad and tearful.........I don't want to go but feel that I have to.

I dread Christmas and can't wait for Xmas day to be over with as I miss Mum so bloody much that it hurts.

My thoughts are with everyone who feels the same
xxx

Big (((((((((((((((((( Hugss )))))))))))))))))))) All round

JAX
YOU GOT ME CRYING
BEEN SO MANY YEARS 35,& 31
STILL CANT GO UNLESS ON MY TERMS
A GOOD SUNNY DAY
AN ITS NOT
SO I JUST CANT


AN YOU KNOW
I MISS THEM TODAY SO MUCH

Colin yes it is times like this it is harder for all of us.

this is a usual for me im afraid, just before any big event i have a little cry then when the big day comes i can think of the happy times. Dont know why it happens that way but it does. But i do think of them daily and talk to the kids about them about happy memories.

Jac thats a good idea thankyou i will xx

Next Chrimbo Jax make up the pot as normal, and site it by your front door, or within sight of window so you can look at it and remember your parents, without visiting a cemetery.

Take care and have a good holiday!

Jac

It is hard to lose loved ones at any time but this time of the year and on other occassions we often feel the hurt and pain of losing loved ones more then at any other times. My own thoughts are that they are closer to us at this time then any other time to. So many memories flood into our minds and this can often give us an opportunity to remember many happy memories that we shared. Rememember these with an affection and warmth, most of all try to think of how our loved ones were when they wanted us to be happy, no one of them would like to see us sad or unhappy.

Thankyou all

It might sound daft but its finally sunk into me that they are all around me which makes me happy and but when i go down there it makes me feel so sad to think of them as in a plot of earth so i dont want to see it now.

((((((((((hugs to you all))))))))))))

no my hubby has gone to get the lilies now :o)

Jax, I don't often go to my Zoe's grave now, but it doesn't mean we think any less of our loved ones. I will go there when I go to the Cemetery on Saturday next to look at the Book of Remembrance as my parent's names will be shown. It is the 62nd anniversary of their wedding so Mum had Dad's put in then and a space left for her name later. She has been gone nearly 13 years now, and to my shame, there is still nothing written there. My brothers never bothered and never go to the cemetery and have left it to me to deal with, and I find it so hard knowing what to put.
Every year I tell myself I must do it but there is no one else to help me with the wording, so will have to bite the bullet and do it alone.
When I do take flowers to my baby's grave, I always keep a couple at home too, as a kind of link.
As long as our people are in our hearts, it doesn't really matter where the flowers etc are, and they know we are thinking of them.
Don't beat yourself up about it. Maybe you can go another day and tidy the pot up.
Lizxx

Aww jax
i know how you feel hun.
i dont like going to my dads grave i have to force myself to go and this time of the year is the hardest.
Dont worry hunny (((hugs))))
Rosex

I would think you are feeling quite normal, whatever normal is!!!, I lost my granddad on Christmas Eve, my dad on Boxing day, and my mum the start of January, I don't think the dark cold weather helps, I always feel a bit low.this time of year....go in the Summer when the days are bright, you will feel better/brighter then I am sure...they are still with you, where ever you are...so don't feel bad. if you stay put. take care....Lilly