General Chat

for a week.He then becomes a ward of court.I have my own views on but dont know what i am up against.I can not keep him as my husband will not allow.He does not like children? annie

Get rid of husband?

My sympathies to you, tis difficult situation. My gran wanted to take in my mum and uncle when they were put in barnardos...they told her she was too old. I think family is always a preferred option for kids than the foster care system. Make sure you find out your rights as a grandma for contact etc. See a solicitor or go to the CAB.

sorry grannie
but i would dump hubby
Rosex

Actually... yes, I stand by my original statement. If he were worried about something else, like health finances etc then I could maybe give him some leaway but to let a child relative go into care because he doesn't like kids... no... I wouldn't be able to forgive him and I wonder what sort of strain that would put on your relationship in the long run?

Wasn't he one once?
This is a child's life you're talking about.I brought my grandson up from 7 to 14 and I would have fought tooth and nail for the right to do it.
If you can't have him at least you can exercise grandparents rights for contact.My Grannie was the one certain thing in my life, she was always there for me and I will never forget her.
Whatever the court decides, you have rights , make sure you get them, God Bless and good luck

me too hun,i agree with everyone else.stand your ground.xx

Annie being a ward of court does not dismiss your role as Grandmother.

I don’t know the circumstances of your case but under normal wardship it is normal to encourage regular stable family to continue their relationship.

What a ward of court means is the lifestyle and choices are dictated by the courts - i.e. should your grandson live in foster care or an independence unit depending on his age or with a member of the family.

Should the child need to go abroad he would or the legal guardians would need to gain permission of the courts - normally until the age of 18.

This step is usually taken for the Childs own benefit; even if they cant see that at the time. It’s not adoption or a cut off from family. Often as I mentioned earlier family visits are encouraged although it is not uncommon for them to be supervised initially.

This may not be a bad thing depending on the Childs circumstance and it is not always a failure of the parents – each case is very different. Most people do not know a child is a ward of court.

I wish the best for your grandson but promise you it is not the end of the world. Your grandson should have a caseworker and I suggest you liase closely with them and ask any questions you may have. It may help to write them down on a piece of paper.

Maddie

My granson is now nearly 12.Was taken away from his mother a year ago for neglect.Given to my son who is no better and i must say prefers his "new children"Grandson is now sitting on my sette with feet up lol as hubby would have a super fit.I dont know how i am going to give him away after christmas. annie

Fight for him, Annie. Tell hubby he can like it or lump it. He's your grandson. Seek legal advice.

I think you know in your heart what you have to do Annie.

Be brave.

I wish you all the luck in the world xx

im sure if hubby loves you enough and realises this is what you want , he may come round
if not then do what you think is best .
i know what i would do .. i would keep grandson
good luck grannie
Rosex

Annie - this is a twelve-year-old boy you’re talking about. I don’t know you or anything about you - but can you cope with a budding teenager with or without the support of your husband?

These decisions are not made lightly and as a ward your grandson could still come to stay for weekends.

I don’t know how old you are but you have to think of his interests and what would be best for him.

You should not feel forced to take on a family after you have had your own already - how will bringing up a teenager affect your everyday life?

If you can do it I applaud you but there is no shame if you cant - you’ve done your time once around already.

What you must be able to do - is show your grandson love and support, be this by weekend stays or full time - but he is at an impressionable age and pride cannot play a part in his future.

what an awful predicament.....but i'm afraid i'm with the rest on this one....

only you know the circumstances etc......but I would fight for him.....

good luck with everything!!!

J xx

I just thank God I am not in your position and have to make a choice. If he does go into care - make sure he does not feel you have abandoned him and have contact with him every week and I am sure you will as you love him

Annie, after all he has been through and you too, I am sorry you are in such a dilemma now. Is he not your husband's grandson too?
I fear that if you aren't allowed by hubby to keep this poor lad, and something goes wrong for him where he ends up, your relationship with hubby will suffer badly as you will blame him maybe. I think perhaps you both need to talk this over more and hopefully your o.h. will see how much this boy needs to be with family who support him and don't let him down. He has been shunned by his mother, his father, his stepmother, dear heavens, what else must this lad cope with? How ever will he grow into a reasonable citizen with so much against him?
Hope you can sort things out to a better conclusion. Good luck.
Lizxx

What an awful situation to be in-I agree with alot of the posters esp Liz-
I know I couldn't give my grandson (if I had one) up for anyone-
I think you need to talk with your OH and tell him how you feel-
Love to your grandson.
catherine
xx

Grannie Annie - so sorry about your predicament with your grandson - hope a satisfactory outcome will be possible for you all. Jx

(PS. I deleted one previous thread I had sent as I had muddled Grannie Annie's grandson - sorry)

God how must the boy feel?

Mother treated him badly, Father treated him badly and Grandad doesn't want him!!

Maybe if he gets the chance to join a loving family he will learn that's its his relatives issues not anything to do with him and not become another statistic!

I'm sorry you are in this position, but my heart goes out to the poor kid!

HI Grannie
i feel for you as some years ago i went thru the same thing with three of my grandchildren second hubby i gave him choice either take them to live with us are im leaving with them,he decide to take them,but its up to you what you decide what you think is best,good luck what ever decison you make
Dutchxx

Grannie,

I would gather he is not the childs maturnal grandparent,,,,,,,,,wheres his love for family?

Is he prepared for the dislike or even hate his granchild will feel not only for him but maybe the both of you,,,,sorry but unless it is circumstances beyond any repair as to why he has to be made ward of court,

,,I would be having some very very serious issues with my husband,,,,,,i would fight him tooth and nail

.sorry but no grandparent would ever ever willing allow it to happen,,,,,,,,,,,,,,