General Chat

watching your parents grow old

It is worse when you realise you are growing old!

DON'T KNOW LL, WISH I COULD HAVE THOUGH(

JETXX

Oh yes, scary and sad.

My dad died suddenly 3 years ago next month at 76 and Mum is in a home with alzheimers.

5 years ago they were full of life, love and energy.........a wonderfully happy and devoted couple

I miss them both horribly at times.

xx

my dad died 30 years ago but mum is now 80 and she had good days and bad days. Today was a really bad day for her. Think its arthritus that is her main cause of pain. She couldnt get up of a dining room chair today. Eventually I helped her up but she just dragged her feet across the carpet using 2 walking sticks. She has always been so active.

i too wish i could have seen my parents grow old as i had lost them both by the time i was 32. Memories are there though and i enjoy those. So my parents will be forever young xx

as I say my dad died suddenly 30 years ago when I was just 18 so I know the pain of that as well

Hi LL,

My Muma and Dad are 73 and 74 and are amazing but i know i need to count my blessings,

Love you both,

Caz xxxx

i was 7 when i lost my mom LL, my dad died in 1996 and since i have been doing my tree i have found a lot of cousins and family members, they too have lost there parents and i have said if i had one wish it would be to bring the four of them back even for just an hour and be with us down the pub with all the family, they wouldn't have to do anything just be there.

jetxx

thats a nice dream Jet but what would you honestly say to them.

LL i they wouldn't need to speak just be there would be enough,

but i would ask all them questions about family, it may help with my brick walls....

honestly, just tell em how much i loved em:)

jetxx

Enjoy your family while you have them Id say !! We are now in 70s and will celebrate our Golden Wedding in a couple of weeks Families these days are far more mobile move overseas :( One regret I have is that Family History didnt seem as important when I was younger as tracking would have been a lot easier with a bit more information
Margaret B

Another scary thing is when you realise you are just like your mum and your grandmum. At 71 I am not ready to get old. Particularly as my OH has Alzheimers and I will be/am caring for him.

HOC, that is so sad. To have a partner and then be in your position... to have, and yet not have. X

Jet, you made me sad too, that was a
nice thought, a last rip to the pub...X

My mum died in 1983, and my dad although he died in 2005(?) might have been 06...... I had not seen him for 50 years. so I have not felt or seen the aging the process, but... my son is watching it and although he never mentions me, he talks, and mourns his dads decline!

Ah well girls, I came on very sad this morning and I've got worse.... so I'm off for a while.
Deanna X

It's something very close to my heart all the time.

My Dad is 97 and has been living in a nursing home for over a year. He has almost totally lost his mobility and now his hearing is failing. His mind is still as alert as it ever was and he hates what is happening and it's tearing me apart to watch.

This poem by Dylan Thomas keeps whirling around my head -

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Gwynne

omg this thread is just too sad

beautiful poem Gwynne

jet (((hugs))) infact (((hugs))) for you all
Rosex

Thanks, Rosie.

Gwynne

Can I rage against the aging process? can I say I hate seeing my parents get old, HATE it.
I wake up this morning and thought omg I've got to take my parents to the hairdressers. Can hardly cope.They do not live with me.
Mum is not a shadow of her old self. She can barely walk. If we go far she has a wheel chair. I cannot mange it on my own, getting it in and out of the car. Dads too old to help.She also has alzheimers and doesn't know who I am. Cannot get into the car without step by step specific instructions. Can't understand instructions like put your leg over there. Has to be carefully moved. Cannot undretsand that to get into a car you have to walk round the door. Doesn't know where she is when we get home. Today we had been home for about ten mins. I showed her where the bathroom was, after a while she suddenly said Oh we are home. My dad is her carer and is finding it harder and harder to look after her.He says she has wee d on the settee. She cannot tell the difference between a toilet and a bath or the waste paper bin. She has defecated in the bin. She is not completely continent at night. She takes her clothes off. If I take them out my husband has to help. I like to take them for an outing every week plus other general bits and bobs. If she goes to the toilet when we are out I have to watch her or she will come out with her knickers round her knees.
I feel sick and shaky sometimes when I've visited them or taken them out. Hubby says I should feel pleased I've taken them to have a hair cut today and I am pleased but seeing what my mum has become is a nightmare. If it was someone else it might not matter but as its my own mother it seems worse.
My mother has a BA degree. She was always so prim and proper she waould hate knowing what she was like now. My father is so stressed and has all sorts of things he wants me to do. Cement some steps, take him to buy new curtains. My own house is a tip, I've got a job, husband and son and dog to look after.
Yes, I hate seeing my parents get old. I hate seeing the aging process at work. I hate the government for stopping prescribing Ebixa which might help my mum. Yes seeing them get older is horrible and I want to shout Help!
Rant over.
Love and hugs to anyone who is struggling to come to terms with this 'problem'
Anon in case you think I am a miserable whingeing***

Yes it is hard watching parents getting old. Luckily mine are still fairly fit and fairly healthy.

I'm lucky because I still have both parents and both in laws, but it does hurt knowing that one day they won't be there.

It's even harder because I work with the elderly and sort of know what to expect. Must admit that it has made me a bit frightened of getting old.

love and hugs are all I can offer you and prayers for you all (((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))
so sad for you,Bunny xxx