General Chat

hi everyone.

just wanted to say im pretty new to this site and have been stuck a couple of times. when i have asked other members for tips or advice i have been overwhelmed with all of your responses. i am extremely grateful and made sure i took the time to thank everybody. some of us do make the effort to be polite and there is no excuse for those who are not. i, personally am very grateful for all the help you have all given me so please dont paint all us newbies with the same brush!!

cheryl x

Isn't it great though when others answer you with......wow! brilliant! thank you so much! etc.....for everyone who is rude by not answering.....the many who do, and are over the moon, surely must make up for the minority.

On this certain site, the person asked for advice and opinions and he has logged in to the site 3 times since I posted my advice to him on Tuesday and he hasnt even sent me a thanks or even a PM saying thanks. I am tempted to do what Dizzy Lizzy did and send this man a PM saying that it would be nice if you were to acknowledge my advice, which I feel was quite reassuring. And I was the only person who did reply to his question.

Ben

No need to thank me Mac..... aint dun nuttin yet! ;-0)

Deanna X

Yes Benjamin, you will get so used to it.

I hate the ones who never answer your requests about HOT MATCHES too Mary.

And I had a *lu lu* of an answer this morning. I can't tell you, as I don't want to hurt the person who sent me it.
BUT.... think in future.. that man!! ;-0)

Deanna X

Hi

Yes I totally agree - manners cost nothing but a few minutes of your time!! Like many others I too have spent many hours doing lookups for people, mostly they have said thanks, some pm'ing me directly to say thank you.

The ones that annoy me the most are those who never reply to pm sent regarding hot matches......and yes I know sometimes they are just no longer interested in doing their tree and don't look at GR anymore.....in which case why not remove their tree and save me and others from wasting their time!!

Sorry, rant over :-))

Mary

Wholeheartedly agree, rudeness is unacceptable, and failure to thank people for their time, effort and help will result in less folk willing to offer same!

Now, can someone please enlighten me as to where you can see this "last log-in" message? I have never seen it on this site!

Dee
x

Joy..
You should have replied,,'YES',,,and left it at that,,,
Some people are just sooooo rude and ungrateful..

I used to spend hours doing look-ups for people on Tips & Records but stopped after I suggested to one person (who I and several others had spent considerable time helping) that it would be nice if they were to acknowledge all the help given and they replied "Why should I?" So I stopped doing look-ups.

Liz

me and my son andy have always said thank yous to the people who gave us their thoughts and hugs when we were going to meet for the first ...and i said thanks on my birthday thread

good manners doesnt cost anything

annie xxxxxx

I have had a lot of help from people on GR and I always make sure that I thank each and every person who has helped me, as manners don't cost anything.

Lisa

Wasn't copying your reply Twiglet, Honest

I agree with all that has been said.. I always like to send a note of thanks, even if the advice wasnt usful at the time, it could prove invaluable at a later date.... Manners dont cost anything

Morning Benjamin

I'm right with you there.

I was always brought up that good manners cost nowt, and I go by the same principle today, teaching my own child the same.

People just don't think sometimes that we are spending our own valuable time doing their work for them. I have even spent money on sites buying credits just so that I can do a look up for someone.

All I can say is if you're waiting for thank you's off some people, don't hold your breath or you'll go a funny colour!!

Take care

Dianne xx

Ben I agree. I do a lot of research for people who are looking for "living" relatives. I have lost count of the number of people I have emailed and given the info/addresses for the persons they're looking for and on many ocassions, dont get a Thanks.

Y'day tho, I found someone for a guy on here and he pm'd me asking me to ring him, we had a long chat and he was really grateful. He made up for alot of those who dont say thanks.

At the end of the day, manners doesn't cost a penny does it:)

Whirley

Most people are appreciative, and I often get personal messages after putting what I see to be fairly basic info on a thread, so there a people out there who are grateful..

If I email information directly and don't receive a response within a week, I normally send a follow up email just checking if they have received the information. In quite a few cases they have not yet seen it, as it was sitting in their Spam box. It is surprising how many people have there settings such that all mails with attachments are intercepted.

On one occasion I sent a follow up to a very distant cousin who responded immediately with an apology. Apparently she and her gran had been so excited with the info I sent her, the thought of sending an acknowledgment went completely out of her mind.

I quite agree - people have no manners or common courtesy these days. Especially a lot of genealogists.

I have been brought up to reply to everyone - even if the person in question they are asking about isn't one of mine. After all you never know do you - later on there just might be a link - a quick reply lets people know.

However I have too been caught just lately, by a couple of people - I am quite happy to send and share info that might help others but all these peopel seem to do is grab and run with out a word.

I have now taken to keeping info back or just giving them a little bit, keeping photos back etc just to see what response or reply I get. Sneaky I know but I am sick of being used and abused.

Angie (getting down off my soapbox)

Those who don't reply to Hot Matched querier are the worst in my book. Usually I'll make my tree available - and then never hear a thing one way or the other.

I think some people are just rude and thoughtless.

Over the years I have printed off parts of my family tree and in some cases pasted together as many as 12 or 15 sheets of paper then posted or given the results to people who are probably distantly related. One man worked with my daughter and his unusual surname was that of one of my branches.
Some contacts have barely acknowledged what they'd been given and I never heard a word from that man though I know he must be connected.

It isn't just in genealogy. Recently I was asked to do a piece of artwork on behalf of an organisation I belong to. I knew I wasn't expecting payment but (having spent a couple of days on it) I was surprised when I heard nothing. I phoned to "check it had arrived" and got a yes it's here response.
Yet other contacts said privately to me that the recipients were very happy with it.
A thank you note would have been appreciated. :((((

Sue

Hi ben

Sorry to hear people not saying thankyou.
As im a newbie i have had a lot of help and advice from members like yourself, and i'd just like to say i have thanked each and every one of them personally. There are some great people here on this board and to name few who have helped me Carol Foster, Victoria Groves, Rambling Rose, and Danielle Marie Cooper. They each and every one of them helped me and for that i am truely grateful, it takes manners to say thankyou so perhaps the people you helped didn't have any.

Pauline.

i dont know about anyone else but as soon as i get a defo hot match,i send them all i have.pics/certs/the lot.
and i can honestly say ive only had 1 person who never said thankyou.
not long ago that person got in touch and asked if i had anymore info.i answered back politly no .
well i lied ,i had 3 more certs,and 2 newspaper cuttings.hehe.
there loss not mine.xx