General Chat

Hi

Sorry to moan but I have to get this off my chest. It is not just this site but others as well. I find it really rude when people ask for advice or tips on things and I post a reply giving them advice and they dont thank you for it or acknowledge your reply. On one site I have given advice to 3 people when they have asked for it and none of them even bothered to say thankyou or reply to my advice and I know that they logged in to the site after I gave them advice because it normally says under their username "Last login". They could at least say a thanks for my time in replying. Some people are so rude.

Ben

yes i agree,ive always been most gratefull for any help ive been given.so a thankyou is a small price to pay for the help given.xx

Hi Benjamin

I sometimes think that newbies are under the impression that it is GR staff that do the look ups and not us members.

I've helped several people over the last couple of days and have only had 2 come back and thank me! I keep getting the urge to go and add a short sharp note at the end of the thread! lol

Jeanette x

Hi

People should show more gratitude when they ask for things and they get help.

I feel like moaning to the site administrator. But if you say anything to the site admins about this issue they'll just say "If you dont like it, leave the forum" I hate that kind of attitude. Mods should work with members to help resolve things.

No one else replied to these certain 3 people's request for advice, so I thought I would just to help them, and they then read your post and never even say thankyou, just take it for granted.

You moan away Benjamin. I can't make any excuses for the lack of a thank you, I always thank those who have given their time to help me out, even if the help is inconclusive.

I don't like rudeness either, it costs nothing to say thank you, it doesn't even take more than a few seconds for the slowest typist,

There is no excuse whatsoever for the lack of a thankyou from anyone on any site. As said, even in the help is inconclusive, they should acknowledge that. Often these people who ask for advice are not newbies, and they have been long term members of the particular site I go on, so there is no excuse.

When I ask for advice I always say thanks for the reply because if I dont, they will think that I am rude and I will become unpopular.

I am always polite when asking for help
and always thank the other person
It's just basic good manners.
People can be so rude but
that applys not only on these sites
but in the outside world
It's a sad fact but a lot of
people have forgotton
how to say thank you
xx

I contacted someone who was related to my grandmothers first husband. I had his great uncles original birth certificate and a letter from his grandmother to her brother. I e- mailed him as much info as I had about his family, telling him addresses, occupations etc

Then I offered him the certificate and letter as he was very interested. I posted them off to him first class and that was the last time we had contact.

All I can say is that I knew his great uncle and there are certain personality traits that have been passed through the genes!

i dont know about anyone else but as soon as i get a defo hot match,i send them all i have.pics/certs/the lot.
and i can honestly say ive only had 1 person who never said thankyou.
not long ago that person got in touch and asked if i had anymore info.i answered back politly no .
well i lied ,i had 3 more certs,and 2 newspaper cuttings.hehe.
there loss not mine.xx

Hi ben

Sorry to hear people not saying thankyou.
As im a newbie i have had a lot of help and advice from members like yourself, and i'd just like to say i have thanked each and every one of them personally. There are some great people here on this board and to name few who have helped me Carol Foster, Victoria Groves, Rambling Rose, and Danielle Marie Cooper. They each and every one of them helped me and for that i am truely grateful, it takes manners to say thankyou so perhaps the people you helped didn't have any.

Pauline.

I think some people are just rude and thoughtless.

Over the years I have printed off parts of my family tree and in some cases pasted together as many as 12 or 15 sheets of paper then posted or given the results to people who are probably distantly related. One man worked with my daughter and his unusual surname was that of one of my branches.
Some contacts have barely acknowledged what they'd been given and I never heard a word from that man though I know he must be connected.

It isn't just in genealogy. Recently I was asked to do a piece of artwork on behalf of an organisation I belong to. I knew I wasn't expecting payment but (having spent a couple of days on it) I was surprised when I heard nothing. I phoned to "check it had arrived" and got a yes it's here response.
Yet other contacts said privately to me that the recipients were very happy with it.
A thank you note would have been appreciated. :((((

Sue

Those who don't reply to Hot Matched querier are the worst in my book. Usually I'll make my tree available - and then never hear a thing one way or the other.

I quite agree - people have no manners or common courtesy these days. Especially a lot of genealogists.

I have been brought up to reply to everyone - even if the person in question they are asking about isn't one of mine. After all you never know do you - later on there just might be a link - a quick reply lets people know.

However I have too been caught just lately, by a couple of people - I am quite happy to send and share info that might help others but all these peopel seem to do is grab and run with out a word.

I have now taken to keeping info back or just giving them a little bit, keeping photos back etc just to see what response or reply I get. Sneaky I know but I am sick of being used and abused.

Angie (getting down off my soapbox)

Most people are appreciative, and I often get personal messages after putting what I see to be fairly basic info on a thread, so there a people out there who are grateful..

If I email information directly and don't receive a response within a week, I normally send a follow up email just checking if they have received the information. In quite a few cases they have not yet seen it, as it was sitting in their Spam box. It is surprising how many people have there settings such that all mails with attachments are intercepted.

On one occasion I sent a follow up to a very distant cousin who responded immediately with an apology. Apparently she and her gran had been so excited with the info I sent her, the thought of sending an acknowledgment went completely out of her mind.

Ben I agree. I do a lot of research for people who are looking for "living" relatives. I have lost count of the number of people I have emailed and given the info/addresses for the persons they're looking for and on many ocassions, dont get a Thanks.

Y'day tho, I found someone for a guy on here and he pm'd me asking me to ring him, we had a long chat and he was really grateful. He made up for alot of those who dont say thanks.

At the end of the day, manners doesn't cost a penny does it:)

Whirley

Morning Benjamin

I'm right with you there.

I was always brought up that good manners cost nowt, and I go by the same principle today, teaching my own child the same.

People just don't think sometimes that we are spending our own valuable time doing their work for them. I have even spent money on sites buying credits just so that I can do a look up for someone.

All I can say is if you're waiting for thank you's off some people, don't hold your breath or you'll go a funny colour!!

Take care

Dianne xx

I agree with all that has been said.. I always like to send a note of thanks, even if the advice wasnt usful at the time, it could prove invaluable at a later date.... Manners dont cost anything

I have had a lot of help from people on GR and I always make sure that I thank each and every person who has helped me, as manners don't cost anything.

Lisa

Wasn't copying your reply Twiglet, Honest

me and my son andy have always said thank yous to the people who gave us their thoughts and hugs when we were going to meet for the first ...and i said thanks on my birthday thread

good manners doesnt cost anything

annie xxxxxx

I used to spend hours doing look-ups for people on Tips & Records but stopped after I suggested to one person (who I and several others had spent considerable time helping) that it would be nice if they were to acknowledge all the help given and they replied "Why should I?" So I stopped doing look-ups.

Liz