General Chat

Do you find it easy to make friends or are you more of a loner?

am a loner

Most people ( not on here ) that i have made frieds with have just used me over the years so now i tend not to get to involved with people as im fed up of getting hurt

julia x

Bit of a loner, I am very close to my family though.

xx

I am lucky---not like Hoff---lol
I do make friends easily and have mad quite a few from here---in the flesh--not vitrual

Julia I am like that, been let down and walked on too many times. Very much a loner, good job I enjoy my own company ! lol.

I have made friends on here which have been a great help to me recently

julia x

I can relate to that Julia. Most of the reason I prefer my own and my family's company is because I seem to attract the sort of friends who either have serious problems and won't discuss them or who feel the need to share every last detail of their day to day problems every time I see them.

I had a friend at uni who insisted on telling me all (and I mean all) the sordid details of a fling she was having behind her boyfriend's back and I never felt able to get a word in and say I didn't think she was in the right.

So with friends like that I need space for myself just to keep sane, really.

Hi CG,

I am a friendly person but am much more wary as Ive got older, Ive been hurt too much and I think the pressures of my own family life and being a single parent for a lot of months made me withdraw and become insular,

I can count only 6 or 7 people as real friends and a few are on here,

Caz xxx

Very much a loner!

Sounds terrible but I would rather communicate with people through the internet than face to face.

I used to cling on to friendships and get so hurt when they did the dirty on me.

Nowadays, I don't look for loyalty in other people, I don't expect it. What I do now is offer my friendship and loyalty for as long as they need it from me. When they no longer need it and move on, so can I, without the hurt. Ihave learned that our lives do not touch and remain in touch forever, that people move on, change, find other friends, or in some cases, the realise you were a friend to them at a time in their life they may not wish to be reminded of. It doesn't make their friendship or mine any less genuine.

Having said that, I have made firm lifetime friendships with a few people, and I would never betray them or walk away from them when they need me. If I can't actually do anythign for them in their time of need, I can always make a cup of tea and lend an ear.

Sometimes true friendship is about letting go.

I have 2 very close friends that I have known for over 30 years, we know so many things about each other we could easily black mail each other if we wanted too lol
I know lots of people that I would say are friends In the second degree,If you know what I mean.

I love making friends, though have moved house so much over the past few years I've gradually lost touch with people. I did become friends with someone 2 years ago who I've stopped seeing now, she was very insecure and possessive to the point of being jealous if I spoke to any other female! It was rather strange, Im 31 and married with 3 kids, she was 26 and married with 2 kids, but she was so immature, it was like trying to keep a child happy all the time. However, that was a one-off! It can be hard breaking the ice when you meet people, but its nice to have someone to chat to, have a laugh with, go out socially, and be there if one of you has a worry or problem.

Ellan most of my dads side are loners. My three uncles live alone, 2 of which have never married and always lived alone and my auntie has been married twice and has lived alone for about 15 tears. One of these uncles have traveled the world alone and loved it.
I relate totally to what you said about small talk and the conversation running dry. I am usually the one stood on my own in the playground waiting for my son to come out.

hi

iam very shy and not very confident, so find it hard to make friend's,

but when i do make friend's iam a true friend,

bit of a loner :¬(((

lynn x

Ellan - I am so like that! I HATE small talk - if I 'hit it off' with someone straight away, we can end up talking about anything and everything, but small talk I am no good at - I tend to stay quiet and people think I'm shy, which I'm not! I am definitely a loner, most of the time that's fine, but I haven't made any real friends for years. Have holidayed alone (I would recommend it!), been to concerts, outings etc. on my own - either out of choice or because nobody else was interested in the event!

Sheila (WestWilts)

I did make friends easily but not always the right sort i get easily taken in if you know what i mean, not so much now but when i was younger, i do think that if you have been at home with young children for a number of years that can make you lose confidence i had many friends when i was working to what i have now.

Thought I was the only loner on here. Because I shy away and don't like small talk I think people think I am very odd!
Off to school soon so I can stand on my tod and watch the other mothers chatting away in their little clicks. Wish I was more out going.

Hi CG. I consider myself to be a loner. My circle of friends have been together since the first year of high school and have been through all sorts together. We don't live in each others pockets but are always there for each other.

I work long hours and find that rather than socialising I prefer to come home and have some time to myself although I don't think anyone would think of me as shy, I don't find myself good at small talk either!

Sadly my dad passed away last week and in the days since I've been overwhelmed at the support I've had from my friends and even people I only considered acquaintances (sp). So, when I'm feeling more my usual self, I intend to get back out there and see people who mean a lot to me, more often than I currently do. Sometimes it's too easy to get stuck in a rut and not open up to other possibilities!