General Chat

This is a handbook of things they should of told you before you think about having children, please add your pearls of wisdom

They dont have an on/off switch

You have to attend dental/hospital appointments with them and they can squeeze your hand so tightly when they need to that it crushes your fingers

they are'nt tired at the same time as you----or each other

they have to ask as many questions as they can

they know exacty the right moment to say the things you wish they wouldnt

You'll get STRETCHMARKS lolol

Ask the Dad to be what he was like as a child - play & at school as your child is likely to inherit his faults!!!

you could feel like the milk bar for the first few months

When they get to a certain age they turned into bolshy green eyed monsters with an answer for everything!!!!
Carol

They make you feel guilty for trying to bring them up into decent human beings

Just think about your all wonderful good points - well they will never inherit those, they seem to just inherit your bad points.
AND REMEMBER they have two parents, so whatever your bad points are - DOUBLE THEM!!

They like very loud music....
Very loud TV and think that our era of music is ...."derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" I think was the answer I got last time we had the conversation!! ;o)

They make you cry in front of total strangers at school plays etc

and you have to walk out in public with snot and tears all over ya face

for the first few years they are like limpets and you cant move for them.
Then you become an embarrassment to them and they will only be seen 10 paces ahead or 10 behind

you will spend most of you time cleaning after them

and your house will still look a tip

please excuse my language

Be prepared for surprises that embarras you muchly!
ie:When Charlotte was 1 1/2 years, we were flying back from Malta on a fairly small plane, we were at the front. She was stood on her seat looking down the plane and cooing at the other passengers when much to my horror..............



BOLLOCKS.............



emited very, very loudly from her "butter wouldn't melt" little cherubic mouth---you know when you just want the groung to open up and swallow you?

I'll get her back on her wedding day!!! :o/
Carol

You will spend years loading the car full just for a simple day out cos you have to take extra clothes, food, drinks, potty/nappies changing mats, pram etc is easier not to go out

When they eventually move it is either uni digs or small and rented and they never ever take all their belongings. When I moved 12 years ago I had to pack up all their things a lot of which are still in my loft! They say frequently we will look at it next time we visit - but never have enough time!

They cost a fortune...