General Chat

Added by Harold Lloyd-Jones on 31/07/2007 15:11:09 Aileen, ?. Why are Women worse than used cars? answer. because they loose value very quickly and you cannot part exchange them without crippling expenses. Hal. :o)))))> LOL PMSL LMAO

Why are blokes like mascara They usually run at the first sign of emotion

A couple are having a blazing row, and thing start to get personal. 'I don't know why you wear a bra,' says the bloke. 'You haven't got anything to put in there'. The woman stares at him in disbelief: ' Well you wear pants, don't you?'

Why are Men adept Carpeters? Because they are always fiddling with Draws, ( Especially in the Winter ) to keep warm and active. Hal PHSL. :o))))>

Nice one Hal.

How can you tell when a woman is going to say something intelligent? She starts out with 'a man once said......'

Keep on with the 'Red Flannel' Sweetheart,I,m loving it. Hal xxx.

Just the odd one or two observations!!!!!!! Liz Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

What do you call a Frigid Woman, 'A Knickerbocker Glory ' Hal.:o))>

What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted a several times. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they're all pigs. Liz:-}}}}}}

How can you tell when a woman is in deep thought? When shes in a Coma. Hal. :o))))>

What's the definition of a bachelor A bloke who's missed the opportunity to make a woman miserable. What's a bloke's view of safe sex A padded headboard What's the only time a bloke thinks about a candlelit dinner When the power goes off

Whats the Definition of a Spinster, She,s the one who makes men realise there is a God after all. and he,s Merciful. Hal.:o))>

What's the difference between a bloke and a shopping trolley Sometimes a shopping trolley has a mind of its own What's the difference between a bloke and childbirth One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is only having a baby. What's the difference between a bloke and a bloke's photo The photo is fully developed What's the difference between a bloke and a computer You only have to punch the information into a computer once What's the difference between an attractive man and an ungly man About 10 glasses of wine. What's the difference between Match of the Day and the toilet seat. A bloke will never miss Match of the Day.

Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts Why do men have a p***s and a brain? No one knows - there isn't enough blood to supply both at the same time. Wy did the man cross the road? He heard the chicken was a slut Why do men like BMWs They can spell it

A Man Prayer Our beer Which art in barrels Hallowed by thy drink Thy will be drunk I will be drunk At home as it is in the local Forgive us this day our daily spillage As we forgive those that spillage against us And lead us not into the poncey practise of wine tasting And deliver us from alco pops For mine is the bitter The ale and the lager For ever and ever

Thanks for the Laughs Ladies, Its been great fun,Got to go Bye. Hal xxxx.:o)))>

See you Hal, Must away myself folks. Need to eat and run. Back out to work again. Thanks for the laughs. Aileen xxx