General Chat

Well All I am off to bed, the twins will have me awake about 6am, and i have preschool duties tomorrow, my other half will be up and out at 5am milking over 500 cows on the farm here, he says its easier milking all the cows sometimes rather than looking after the little darlings.keep on writing will log on early tomorrow morning with my cup of tea stay safe kerixxxx

GOODMORNING ALL Its another sunny day here today, a bit windy though, I managed to get a unbroken nights sleep last night - 'thank you girls', but one of them has woken this morning as if she has spent the night arguing with the devil-what a mood! not to worry preschool at 9.30. I trust that this morning brings you all a good day, and for those of us who for some part of it will climb into that secret place that holds the memories of the ones for whatever reason we have lost contact with, grandchildren, sons, daughter,sisters,brothers,mums,dads,etc,etc., try to remember what you had- the good times even if they were too few as was in my case --how do you ever say goodbye to a tiny granchild in the one precious hour that social services give you to do so - precious, precious memories, speak with you later Keri.

Morning Keri :o) Thank you for your kind words. I didn't mean to hijack your thread with my family problems, but it worries me so much sometimes. It is wonderful that you are able to have 2 of your grandchildren with you, and it must give you a little comfort to know the other 2 are together in a family. A friend of mine had a similar experience to you almost 18 years ago. Her daughter (with whom she was estranged) had a baby boy who was 8 months old when his sister was born. My friend's daughter (a drug addict) wanted her daughter adopted and my friend didn't know she was even pregnant. My friend found out via another friend, and visited her daughter in hospital. After many months she was granted a residency order for her grandaughter. She grew up calling my friend Mum, although she always knew she was her grandmother. When she was about 4, her mother had another son and was then in a stable relationship with the new baby's father. After much heartsearching, it was decided the little girl was better off with her grandparents, and she is still with them today. She sees her mother and 2 brothers regularly now, but I often wonder how she really feels seeing her brothers living with her mother whilst she is with her grandparents (who she still calls Mum and Dad). Have a good day - I hope you manage to get at least a few moments to yourself :o). I know how tiring young children can be, there is 8 months between each of my 3 youngest grandchildren and, before they started full time school, I used to look after them during the day. At least I had most evenings and nights without them though even if I still had my teenage son - who was more demanding than all 3 grandchildren! LOL Sue xx

Morning Sue The devil seems to have given up the hold on Morganna and she's happy now, I have just watched the girls climb to the top of their castle to watch our herd of milking cows going out to the fields for the day, they have enjoyed watching them ever since they were oh so small. Ah well I'm off to core peel and make circles out of apples for preschool snacktime - I made the cheese straws last night!! oh what joy. Keri xx

the worse thing is when your grand daughter writes and tells you that she never wants to see you again, and it was obviously dictated by her father

My story is from the other side, my mother decided to stop speaking to me, I have tried so many times now I have given up, but would like her to continue having contact with my 3 sons, she never contacts them or even sends xmas/birthday cards, now the middle son of 21 dosen't want to know her, his attitude is how can any mother do that to her daughter who has given so much help when it was needed, she is missing so much, the last time she saw her grandsons was at her mothers funeral, my youngest had to be rushed off to see the doctor he was very poorly, to this day 1 year on she has never called to see how he is. I admire any grandparent who will stand up and be counted, and fight for their rights to see their grandchildren, you all are so right kids need all of their family. Bev

When my daughter was born my husbands mother made me wait at the hospital (instead of taking my baby home) because she refuses to come to my home. She took my baby out of the ward without my permission and without my knowledge and was found downstairs by security. She refused to accept that she'd done anything wrong as it was her grandchild. Since my daughter was born she has only seen her a few times, i had to ring her once a week for the first six months and ask if my daughter could visit. she used to take her from me on the doorstep as i am not welcome in her home ( i am married to her son but she prefers his ex) i had the door slammed in my face many times. after six months of this and because my girl used to screem when i left her there i stopped ringing. My husbands mother hasn't rung (ever) and my daughter is now nearly three. I hear from my husbands family how she is really upset at not seeing her and crys about it. in my view if she was so DESPERATE to see her she would ring, if not me she could ring her own son. I will not allow my daughter to be used in any shape or form and don't think she misses out on anything. she has my mum as her only nanna is is happy with that. My mother in law has twelve other grandchilden and refers to mine as the unlucky thirteen.She, and my husbands ex have stopped my husband having contact with his three sons because they say he shouln't have married me. they even coached the eldest into writing a letter dis-owning his dad. N ot all granparents are a positive influence in there grandchildrens lives.

Hi All. I have survived the preschool rota duty, and have put my two exhausted girls down for a nap(something they havent done for about a yr now) I will be able to flit in and out of here this afternoon between phone calls, so if anyone needs to say anything or wants some advice, or just wants to let off some steam then please go ahead, I may not have the answer, but I will try to find it for you,and at least you will be writing to someone who understands. Joy please contact ----- 'THE GRANDPARENTS ASSOCIATION MOOT HOUSE THE STOW HARLOW ESSEX CM20 3AG TEL; 01279428040 HELPLINE - - 01279444964 ADVICE LINE---01279412963 [email protected] www.grandparents-association.org.uk they may be able to help you. This association is a big plus for anyone with difficulties over access/contact etc with their grandchildren, everyone there knows what you are going through, they all understand YOU ARE NOT ALONE - THERE ARE LOTS OF US OUT THERE. KERI XXXX

Even when things were awful between me and my ex I still kept in contact with the childrens grandmother, because it was not her or my childrens fault that their father left, my gripe however is with his new wifes parents, hubby had the snip when we were married she has no children, so I thought that they might have made soem contact with mine, nothing since the day they married what a missed opportunity for them and my kids

Unfortunately I am at the other end of the spectrum! I have a 13yr old son whose dad and grandparents want nothing to do with him....His grandma has even gone as far as to want a DNA test even though I was with her son for 2yrs before I had Adam! I am now with a fab bloke who loves Adam like his own and whose parents now class him as their own grandchild! Bev

Grandparents are the forgotten casualties of divorce! When my parents seperated when I was 15 there was never an issue about our grandparents seeing us but my nan (my mum's mum) spoke to me about how sad she felt that she had lost a son(my dad). She obviously had to support my mum, her daughter but after having a close relationship with my dad for 20 years she felt grief that she wouldn't be able to treat him as a son any more. Fortunately for us all, after the divorce they decided they wanted to be together after all and got married again.(mad lot my family!) I realise this is a slightly different subject to this thread but I wanted to acknowledge that grandparents are an integral part of lots of families and this isn't always remembered. Sarah xx

GRANDPARENTS ASSOCIATION www.grandparents-association.org.uk [email protected] I have just spoken to my mam to let her know that i have just heard from social services, for those of you that dont know i reunited my mam with her sister last nov, it took me just 1 week to find her as she had been adopted as a baby, i then found a file for mam's brother who was also adopted as a baby, s/s now have the file and are reading through it for some info - hopefully to lead us to John, mother is sooooo happy with this breakthrough, she has not seen John for 51yrs!!. the sun is still out here!. Kerixxxx

THE LAW IS AN ASS !!!!!!

......Vivienne......hello, so many people lose out dont they? i have spent the last 6mths searching for my mams family, i found her sister who had been adopted 58yrs ago - she actually grew up in the same welsh valley as my mam and neither one of them knew who the other was, they are back together again now making up for lost time, i am still searching for her brother who was adopted, its so important to know and understand where we all came from, such a shame that us human beings were not all programmed with hindsight, i am so sorry that you are still hurting keri xx

Night All kerixxx

Thanks for the nudge, some help to pass onto my mum

Liz

This makes me soooo angry!

I divorced the childrend's father when they were 2, 4 and 6. But I let them maintain contact with him, so they could see that he was neither an ogre nor a saint.

One day, going to visit my Mum, the three of them asked to see their other Gran. I couldn't think of a good reason to refuse, so we went. Her face when she saw us on the doorstep would bring tears to the most hard-hearted. Thereafter, we kept contact with her and my ex's brother and sister-in-law.

My children benefited from all these relationships, which I am absolutely sure that I did not have the right to destroy.

I added to this orginally, and i still stand by my comment... to all grandparents your relationships with your grandchildren are worth their weight in gold........trust me I know xxxxx

when my sons girlfriend died they had alittle boy age 2 his grandparents took him to live with them,we went to see him not sure if it was xmas or his birthday and they were,nt going to except the present as they thought it was from my son,so i said rather than upset my grandson we would stay away which i thought was better for my g,son her parents didnt want us coming to see him i got acopy of his birth cert hes got my sons name but on the bottom hes adopted,that was 25yrs ago
about ayear ago i wrote to the grandparents asking about my grandson told them i was,nt out to upset them i just wanted to know how he was and could they send me aphoto of him as the one i have was when he was 2yrs old got know reply
Dutchxx

I watched the recording I made of the programme about babies being taken at birth by social services, itv's 'Tonight' with Trevor McDonald.
At the end it asked if anyone had any stories about similar situations or grandparents being stopped from seeing grandchildren.

Lizx