General Chat

This will probably come as a shock to those who know me but I do have a tendancy to be a bit feisty and fiery at times... I don't go out of my way to start arguments but I do sometimes enjoy participating in a verbal debate. Plus when arguing with a partner... at least you can look forward to making up afterwards! love becx

I do love a good ol barney (specially at that time of the month), but hubby will not play that little game with me. He wont argue, it dont matter what subject I pick or how ratty I am, he just walks into another room and yes I do follow but he totally ignores me or does something to make me laugh. He is a true GEM and I love him loads.

Ah, CB - I can explain that if you give me long enough.........

That reminds me, Benders - I've got a bone to pick with you! (See your email inbox) CB >|< XX

Certainly does, Froggers. xx

Bendy I think this just goes to prove that two people with different views can still be friends :)))))))))) Froggers x

I'm all for a spot of aggressive bridge burning !! (Joke, honest)

David (Owen), I agree with you entirely about raising issues for discussion in order to clear the air. Unfortunately, I've been labelled 'aggressive' for raising topics which the other parties (mainly family members) find difficult to discuss. My Mother and parents-in-law were always very difficult when it came to talking about things in any depth, and all of them resorted to childish behaviour (insults, silent treatment, withdrawal of privileges) rather than indulge in proper discussion. Being a very open, honest person, I find it extremely hard to deal with those who 'bottle up' their feelings, and that makes me angrier than if they just came out and said something which I might find unpleasant. I know I'm probably in a very small minority, but the way I look at it, it's being dishonest and giving a false impression to cover things up and pretend that things are fine, when really you're seething. I have far greater respect for people who are honest with me. Dave B, I think you have the right attitude - air your differences, then keep on friendly terms afterwards, if possible. X CB >|<

I don't mind gentle arguments (if there is such a thing !) but I don't like the nasty ones when people say very hurtful things. A few years ago, when he was very angry, my hubby said something awful to me which, although he later apologised, I have never forgotten. Often words can do as much damage as sticks and stones....

i never hav to apoligise as im ALWAYS right ............................................................... lol

I wouldnt say I enjoyed it David but do agree it clears the air every now and then.But one thing I have never been is a sulker, and like to sort things out and be friends after. I cant be doing with this not talking for days thing, I think it very childish. If I think I am in the wrong I will apologise, and expect people to accept it just the way I do if people apologise to me.Though I have found with some people that apologising is the worst thing you can do. Dave

Hi Dave, I'm not one for brooding or sulking. If someone really annoys me he/she usually know about it (loudly) within seconds. Gwynne

I can't be doing with sulky people but don't like arguements either. If something needs to be said within this house, I hope people can take the point and think on it. They may not agree, - we have many differing viewpoints with 5 adults in this house but arguing is not productive in my view.

david i agree that its far better to get it of ur chest i hate it wen people sulk and u know summat is bothering them but it cant b resolved as u dont know wats wrong much beter to get it all out in the open :-)

Len I may well need a psychiatrist but not for anger management:) I'm not talking about shouting at people randomly! My viewpoint is that if someone has annoyed, offended or upset me I would rather deal with it head on where possible rather than sulking (which is manipulative) or feeling resentful (which is negative). I have never endangered a relationship of any sort through an argument. If something angers me I am happier being honest and confronting it rather than holding it in. And I feel better for it:)

Why should you use someone else in order to vent your spleen? Did you, as a child, throw tantrums? Perhaps you need a psychiatrist? Maybe an anger management course? There's no excuse for violence. even the verbal variety. Len

Nell That's exactly why I like an argument - because I dislike a build up of resentment Chrissie Yeh I enjoy discussing too and I often change my mind about things - hopefully not cos I'm feeble but because I can take in other points of view but arguments can bring about positive change too sometimes:)

I am lucky in the respect that my husband and I, agree to disagree, we have obviously had our fall-outs, but it had never got out of hand, thank-fully! I think also a good thing, is that neither of us are afraid to apologise, or accept it! Lucky aint I? Maz x

There's a difference though surely between, having a barney and having a discussion about points of view. Hasn't anyone ever changed there opinion after listening to someone elses point of view? I know I have. Chrissie

I hate arguments, but have found that trying to avoid them just makes me resentful. I do feel better after I've got things off my chest, but the problem isn't necessarily resolved. as Lady Bracknell says in the Importance of Being Earnest 'I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar and often convincing'! nell