General Chat

I had this sent me, not my own personal views, but i thought it was funny. Men....enjoy.....Ladies....take note. We always hear 'The rules' from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. MENS RULES 1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT, YOU'RE A BIG GIRL NOW. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DONT HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN. 1. SATURDAY=SPORTS ITS LIKE THE FULL MOON OR THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES....LET IT BE. 1. SHOPPING IS NOT A SPORT, AND NO, WE ARE NEVER GONNA THINK OF IT THAT WAY. 1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL! 1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LETS BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE; .SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK! .STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK! .OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK! JUST SAY IT!! 1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION. 1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT, THATS WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR. 1. A HEADACHE THAT LASTS 17 MONTHS IS A PROBLEM. SEE A DOCTOR. 1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS. 1. BREASTS ARE FOR LOOKING AT, THATS WHAT WE DO. DONT TRY AND CHANGE THAT. 1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE. 1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE, NOT BOTH. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, DO IT YOURSELF. 1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING THE COMMERCIAL BREAK. 1.CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DIDN'T NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE. 1. ALL MEN SEE IN 16 COLOURS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS. PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT NOT A COLOUR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS. 1. IF IT ITCHES, IT WILL BE SCRATCHED. WE DO THAT. 1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHINGS WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT ITS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE. 1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION THAT YOU DONT WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER THAT YOU DONT WANT TO HEAR. 1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE, REALLY. 1. DONT ASK US WHAT WE ARE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS; .SEX. .SPORTS. .CARS. 1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES. 1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES. 1. I AM IN SHAPE, ROUND IS A SHAPE. THEY ARE ALL NUMBERED '1' ON PURPOSE. Thank you for reading this, yes, i know, i'm sleeping on the sofa tonight, but did you know, men really dont mind. It's like camping. Nick.

Good one Nick. Of course, these rules only apply to single men.....or ones that want to be single. Lol

Good one Nick lol

very good Nick lol hope you not married ? if so hide this list and quick lmao

ladies please....this was for the guys.......lol

May I respond to the MEN'S RULES. Whilst I understand that all of the males on this site are sensitve, intuitive, compassionate and considerate, this is a response to the Lads who actually think these rules are a life guide! 1 - The toilet seat has a hinge and it works both ways. 2 - God did not say and on the 6th day you will be glued to the telly come hell or high water, and YES it is ONLY A GAME!!!!!!!! 3 - Shopping is a chore or an indulgence and it doesn't need rules to understand that. 4 - Crying is a natural reaction to the total frustration of repeatedly trying to make someone pay attention. 5 - It's my birthday, buy me flowers is not a hint. 6 - Yes and no are perfectly good answers to a question if a) you heard the question in the first place and b) you actually mean what you are saying. (we don't expect anything any deeper than that) 7 - Suggest solutions don't 'tell what to do' and then wash your hands of us when we don't do it your way. 8 - A headache that lasts 17 months means that beer bellies and lager breath are not an aphrodisiac. 9 - Don't blame me that God in her wisdom gave me a brain like a video camera, and yes I CAN remember exactly what you said, how you said it, where you were stood and what you were wearing at the time. 10 - Breasts were made for feeding babies. And why weren't women given something to look at? 11 - But have you got a clue which comment upset us? 12 - We ask you to do something, THEN we tell you to do something, THEN we get sick of waiting and do it ourselves. 13 - Just like you say what you want in the commercial break...........put the kettle on love!!! 14 - Christopher Columbus didn't need directions coz he wasn't staring at breasts while he was driving. 15 - Life isn't just black and white.............. there are many shades in between. 16 - Itch, scratch and also check they're still there on a regular basis!!!! 17 - If you ask and we tell you, we're wrong for being bothered! 18 - Just to hear an answer to show that you listened to the question would make a nice change. 19 - Everything we wear is fine...............as long as it is not new - expensive - likely to attract too much attention. 20 - We don't bother asking what you are thinking incase we interrupt the telly. 21 - You can't be trusted to buy clothes. 22 - You have smelly shoes. 23 - Round is out of shape. THEY ARE ALL NUMBERED DIFFERENTLY COZ THERE'S MORE THAN '1' IN A RELATIONSHIP!

Nice reply Mandy - you can't argue with that Nick! Think you're out numbered LOL!! K x

Nick, Guys ... let it ride You know that it wont be you who puts in the last message on this thread.

In reply to number 10... God, in all Her wisdom DID give us something to look at. Unfortunately instead of making us feel sexy, it gives us the giggles. Or makes us think of what to have for dinner. NO! Not that way! Think...last chicken in the shop ;) But on the plus side... Mens bottoms can be incredibly cute... sometimes.

Sorry, I'm still on the toilet seat. Men can sit down to widdle can't they??? Maybe they'd like to come down half asleep in the wee small hours and sit on cold porcelein. Then they'd find our request was not unreasonable !! :0) maggie

Yes N R H cute..............but not when they are the support for a beer belly!! LOL Mandy

Just to prove we're not unreasonable - crying is a warning that PMT is imminent - DON'T SAY YOU HAVEN'T BEEN WARNED!! maggie

maggie.......you dont have to tell me........like i said tho...these aren't my rules.......i love all you ladies and i'm a bloody good creep too.........lol

And....you're not getting the last word!!!!!!

Sorry Rupert it was a misprint............................ it should have read...'in the humour of Norman Wisdom she made man' Mandy

YOU ARE A VERY BRAVE MAN.

LOL there brilliant! God gave men brains and we know where he put them! certainly wasnt in their head. Life would be dull without men wouldnt it. Yvonne

Thanks Yvonne......it would be wouldn't it..lol

thats not fair linda........i wanted the last word.........lol

I'm sorry Nick but I'm sure that it's against the law for a man to have the last word!!!!!!!!!!!! Mandy