General Chat

Bendy - I want to help them... but don't think I physically can anymore... I'm running out of positive things to say...

I've had to explain to my mother that her relationship problems with my father are very private between them - there are some things a daughter does NOT need to be told. Although I am getting a bit long in the tooth my dad is still my dad and I don't want to hear him being pulled apart several times a day.

Bendy is right Bec, I did it for years you have to stop it now and enjoy your youth Wendy.xx

There comes a point when it has to stop though Bec - it takes a big toll on people to be the emotional support on a permanent basis.

Thanks Wendy It's hard, I'm 22 and an adult... but I'm still their child and I'd love to be treated as that every now and again. I'm too young to be taking on their problems. becx

Thanks Shelli, Jim and Wendy I sometimes wish I wasn't as strong as I am. I seem to have put myself forward as the natural support for everyone...

Bec, I am the youngest of 6 and everytime there was a problem they came to me, when my dad died all they were bothered about was because they had not been down they totally excluded me. I had enough and just told them that i had enough of my own worries and it was time they learnt to sort out their own lives. That is what you should do Bec, At first they didnt like it but after a short while they realised they had been taking me for granted and now we get on much better. Sorry its a bit long but you seem like a smashing young lady this is the advice i would give my kids try it love Wendy.xx

Just tell them that you love them dearly, but they have to sort out their own problems like grownups, and not to put the pressure on you. Good luck, Jim

The ironic thing is that after saying I don't want to hear any more of the self inflicted marriage 'problems' I have become the bad beggar, lol. Still - if they aint speaking to you, they aint moaning to you!!

tell them u have enough emotionmal baggage of your own to carry and can't possibly manage theirs as well xxxx

Bendy - What can you do?

Snap Bec. xx

Wendy - I just don't think I can take anymore. All I get is everyone's problems... I feel like I'm going to explode. I'm glad my parents feel they can talk to me but I don't want to know what's going wrong in their marriages, how stressed out they are etc. i have enough problems of my own... Just really don't know what to do...

Did that 20yrs ago when my dad died Bec, was sick of their self pity, Wendy.xx

Has anyone reached a point where they've had to tell their family that they can no longer continue to share all their grievances against one another?