General Chat

Today I drove to the cemetery to place some flowers on my late husband’s grave,( birthday memories.) A beautiful bright sunny day, I decided to walk to the far end of the cemetery to pay my respects to a dear friend who is buried there. Not a lot of people about but as I walked through the rows of headstones I noticed a young man (mid 20s), one hand resting on a headstone while the other held a handkerchief to his face. Even before I passed him I could hear the muffled sobs from behind the handkerchief. Not wishing to intrude on someone’s private grief, I avoided eye contact as I passed by him. Oh! How I felt for him and could not help wondering whom he mourned, his Mum, Dad, a sister or brother? On reaching my friends grave I was able to observe him without appearing to be nosey or intrusive. I watched, as still sobbing he knelt and spoke to the person buried there. By this time I had a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes as I journeyed back, remembering the pain and heartache at the loss of a loved one. Heading back to my car I again decided against eye contact not wanting to embarrass the young man in any way. As I passed him I was drawn to have a peek to see if he was all right. Just then he looked up catching my eye, and through red rimmed eyes whispered a little “Hello” “Hello, are you all right” I asked as I went towards him. The floodgates opened as he told me today was his Mums birthday, the first one where he could not put his arms around her and say “Happy Birthday Mum” I glanced at the headstone, noting his beloved Mum was aged 60 when she recently died. I also took in at a glance, the two large bunches of yellow chrysanthemums lovingly placed each side of the headstone. Perhaps, most touching of all was the huge birthday card, wrapped in cellophane and held in place with tape. Looking guilty he explained he had forgotten and left the price on the back of the card and what would his Mum think? I said, “ She would think you were a silly b----r as all mothers would” This, I am glad to say brought a smile to his face as he agreed, yes, that’s what she would say. “People tell me time heals but I don’t believe that, it just seems to get worse” I explained that while he will never forget, time will help him to cope better with his loss. In time you will be able to look back at all the lovely memories shared by you and your mum and be able to smile, something your thinking right now you will never do again.. We talked for a long time while I inwardly wished I had the Wisdom of Solomon to find the right words to somehow ease his heartbreak. I told him, “You know, Mum’s never let go of their Children, even in death they are there watching over them, your Mum will know and be so proud that you were here today, remembering her Birthday, let me give you a hug and a “Big Thank You” on her behalf. I walked away, wishing we could teach our children how to navigate the road of heartbreak and sorrow but I guess that only comes with age and experience. I cried all the way home. Bridget x

Oh darling... thank god you were there to help him today!!! Big pink hug for ya!! xx

Bridget having been in that situation I think the lad would have apprecated what you done . a lot would have walked by and left him there god bless you Howardxx

Bridget thank you for sharing this with us Davex

Bridget what a lovely thing to do. I'm sure he really appreciated it.

Oh Thats so sad, I know just how that young man feels........ My dad died last year and it would have been his 80th birthday today Im in bits Rosi

thank you for sharing. bryan.

Bridget youve just nearly made me cry and believe me thats not like me. What a lovely thing for you to do it must have helped him loads.

Bless you Bridget Joan x

Oh this brought tears to my eyes.

What a lovely lady you are, you will never know how much comfort your kind words brought to this young man on this very special day, in a way, it's as if you were meant to be there at that time for him. Wish someone would have spoken to me at my parents' graveside especially during those first months of grief.

Bridget, that is just what I would do, I couldn't bear to see someone so upset. Don't you just want to take away all their pain? but finding the right words are so hard when people are grieving. I am sure you helped him cope with today a little bit, and he will remember your kindness. Bless you.

Bridgit that was lovely.Can I tell you something ?now don't take offence,but I was waiting for a punch line.Honestly.I started reading it as a story not realising you were telling people what happened.I was waiting to hear he was up to no good or you were robbed or something.I was pleasently surprised to hear that a complete stranger could bring some comfort to someone.It seemed strangly more so because it was a man.I think thats what I found moving. Lovely..... Hop-a-long.

I’m sitting here in my office wiping my eyes after reading that. I’m a bit down because my much loved mother in law died suddenly a couple of weeks ago. After her funeral we went to the cemetery where her husband, who died many years ago, is buried. What a mess, no flowers anywhere and many headstones fallen over. Obviously most have been long forgotten, a really depressing site. In the middle of this we saw an elderly lady tending a small grave with a white headstone, Died 1951, age 1 year 4 months. Maybe time doesn’t heal too quickly. Derek.

Bridget - he will feel that you were sent by his mammy - she would have known that he needed a hug - and she couldnt have chosen anyone better than you to do it. Having met you I know the warmth of your kindness - that young lad will never forget you . much love She xx

I believe in fate, you were meant to be there for him. You will see him there on the same date next year... Deb

Rosie, Hope I did not upset you on your dear Dads Birthday. (((Hugs ))))) Derek and everyone feeling down just now. I have to admit I did not get to sleep untill 4.0 clock this morning thinking of the young man. Bridget x

Bridget, That was lovely of you, I bet that young man is wishing he had asked to keep in contact with you. I think fate did give a helping hand today and I wouldn't be at all surprised if your paths cross again. Take care Bridget. Love June xx

What lovely wise words you spoke to that young man. You really are a lovely lady. Shirley Ann.

Bridget, Thank you for sharing and giving us such a moving account. I am sure you helped ease the pain for a while. Hopefully he will now do the same if he sees someone in that situation. Hope all that are grieving at the moment, soon have more good days than bad ((hugs)) Jill xx