General Chat

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Now I know I’m not the best mother, not the cleanest or tidest of people and I am the first to admit it but I feel so put down. Have been told as I put the children first and will cancel my things for them that that is the reason I have so many problems with them That I am disgusting because of the state of my windows outside (so husband has now been out to clean them) I feel like a little girl being told off again (I’m almost 40)

Dont let these people get to you...Its a dying race that put their children before other things....I would cancel stuff to be with my kids any time. My windows arent sparkly clean...and any one of my pals will vouch for the fact that I'm certainly not houseproud or tidy!!! But me and the kids have fun and thats far more important!! Jill x

I agree with Jill. What counts is whether you love your children or not. It sounds like you do!

You're children are obviously more important than housework, what's wrong with that - absolutely nothing. Kaye x

Who said this to you? Was it a family member? Gwynne

And why shouldn't your children come first? My children are more important to me than anything, they know they are loved beyond measure. How can dust and smeared glass compare with spending time with your children, making happy memories? Daisy

Hi D D At the end of the day , when old and grey , your children will recall the fun times they had growing up not the dirty plates, windows or dust. How many times have you ever heard a family get together and say: Remember that day when the windows were dirty and Mum was told she was disgusting so Dad went out and washed them? I don't think sooooooooooooo. It'll be more like remember that camping trip we had were Dad didn't secure the tent and he rolled out of the side down the hill? The same trip were Mum fell into a big hole blackberry picking and we wet ourselves trying to get her out? OR That night Mum stayed up with me all night because I thought the bogy man was there . The list of memories I'm sure will go on and on and on. Have fun with them D D 'cos one day they will be all grown up, the dust & dirt will always be there . The children wont. Much happiness debi

When I was a child, my mother put EVERYTHING before me. She had no time for me, never read to me, played games with me - nothing! When my son was born, I was determined to put him first as much as possible, despite having to go to work. I made time to read to him when he was little, taught him things, played games and watched TV with him whenever I could. As he got older, I took an interest in his schools and became PTA secretary, helped at school functions and raised money for all sorts of school projects. He's now 26 and only last weekend told me that he was very glad I'd spent time with him. He's now capable of cooking, doing his own laundry and cleaning his own rooms, as well as having a good job and lots of friends. DD, there's no reason why your children shouldn't be the same when they grow up. They're far more important than whether or not there's a fingermark on a windowpane , if the curtains are pulled just so or if there's a bit of dust on the table. That's all my mother cared about, and I've resented her all my life. Be YOURSELF, and tell the busybodies to mind their own business! CB >|<

Gwynne was a very very close relative of mine, Alison Husband cleaned windows because of what had been said it wasn't him doing the moaning.

DD, let me tell you something, like you and others i am in the middle of the school holidays, and my main concern is to ensure my little one has a good time is safe and will remember these holidays, we arnt doing anything spectacular just having fun..My house is like a Sh*t Tip, but who cares not me, and certainly not the little one..hubby just rolls his eyes when he comes home and is met with paper pens paints etc etc...and gets stuck in making our dinner....im droning on now, the moral of this tale is dont worry about dirty pots windows or floors just have fun with your kids and bugger what anybody else says.. Anita xx

DD, How you and your husband choose to run your home and family is for the two of you to decide. If your children are (generally) good kids then it's no one else's place to comment. Enjoy them while they are young, Gwynne

does the very very close relative have children of their own? If they dont then there lies your answer - ignorance! and if they do then I wonder if their children think they spend enough time with them!!

Not the first born sister scenario?

Here Here I agree with everything said, your children are young for such a short time enjoy every minute you can with them. Then like me you can do the cleaning when they are grown up and moved on, lol Life is too short to worry about petty peoples comments whoever said this obviously does not put there kids first, or do they have any?????? Wendy.xx

With you on that Bendy, miss mine being your little angels age(bless) Still its great when the g/kids come visit and S*D the mess, lol

Housework will always be there tomorrow....kids grow up too quickly...make the most of them!! What's the point otherwise! Jacquie xxxx

join the club DD, i always put me kids first , everytime, go and tell the person( and i can guess who it is) tell them , not to make their problem your problem, dont worry, you carry on the way you are,

You'd better not send your relative round my house then. There is a pile of washing on the sofa, I haven't dusted for days, I don't iron and I can't remember the last time I cleaned my windows.....BUT We went to the shops, played dressing up, took the bikes out for a ride and got the paddling pool out. My friends come in to my house and step over the tous, move the washing and even make their own tea, but they all say it is a nice happy house and the kids are happy (usually grubby). If they (or anyone) don't like it, they don't have to come. You sound like a wonderful mother and I am sure your children are happy and healthy and that is what is important. So THERE! ;o) Claire xx

I agree with everything everone has said. Kids come first the dirty windows will be there when you are not. Could it be some sort of jealousy, sounds like it to me. I have a relative like that don't seee her nowadays don't want to. Carry on the way you are. don't let them get you down. It would only rain and make them mucky again LOL if she/ he is so worried let them do them for you. chin up!!! Germaine xxxx