General Chat

It's such a joke isn't it - this thread just shows how incompetent the CSA really is. My Husband and I came to an agreement with his ex wife to pay £40 a week for his son - this was 8 years ago and his son was about 3 years old - she was quite happy with this, then the CSA told her that if she didn't give them our details that she would loose any benefits she was getting. They took ages to sort everything out and then turned around and demanded £70 a week + £5 a week for arrears! We are now paying slightly less, but it is still cripling us and has made things very difficult between my Husband and his Ex - which isn't good for their son. I have heard of Men commiting suicide over this because they can't make the payments and see no other way out. As Elaine (I think it was) pointed out, the CSA should be scrapped and each case should go to court - hopefully that way the co-operative, responsible Fathers would be treated fairly and those idiots who don't give a damn get made to pay up. Kaye x

OK, I know I am going to be a voice in the wilderness here, but I LOVE the CSA! When I divorced, my children stayed with their father and I paid a small amount out of my very small earnings as a token really - my ex being a Professional, who earned more in two weeks than I earned in a year. I also signed away my rights to any interest in the marital home, on the understanding that my children would remain there. When my daughter was 14, she decided she wanted to live with me. My ex refused to pay any maintenance at all. I went backwards and forwards to Court, which cost me time and money which I just did not have. We really suffered - we were living well below the poverty line and in desperation I applied for Family Credit (I think it was called then). They immediately alerted the newly-formed CSA and I was paid a reasonable amount directly through Family Credit. But Family Credit stopped when my daughter left school and I contacted the CSA to find out when her maintenance would end. They told me that my ex was in such arrears WITH THEM, that he would probably be paying them back for the rest of his life. Also, they had calculated that he owed me thousands of pounds in arrears for the three years when he had paid nothing - would I be prepared to accept this amount as a lump sum, from the Secretary of State, who would then pursue him 'to the grave' (Their words!).I do rather like to think of him STILL having to pay, even though she is now 25. Would I!!!!I grabbed it with both hands and was able to give my daughter £500 to buy the clothes and teenage 'stuff' that she had had to forgo for the three years we lived in utter poverty.(She never moaned once, bless her heart) I was further chuffed to read in the local rag, that my ex, the Professional Man, AND his Employer had been heftily fined for making fraudulent declarations to the CSA. In my case, my ex was motivated by spite, not poverty.I think he is just beginning to realise the TRUE cost of his spite - my daughter is distantly polite to him and no more. Olde Crone

I am glad that they have managed to get it right with one person. I actually knew someone who went to work for the CSA and had children that he wasn't paying any maintenance for - he came clean and asked to be assessed, but they simply told him that his 'file' had not come up yet and so they wouldn't be doing anything about it! His children were later adopted I think and then he didn't have to pay anything anyway. It does make me sick that some Men (and Women too) can just shirk their responsibilities in this way, but maybe if the CSA left the decent ones alone (like my Husband) then they would have more time and money to catch those other types? My Husband has never tried to shirk his parental responsibilities and would never see his son suffer (in any way) but I do think that the CSA's interference has caused a lot of bad feeling between him and his ex and that isn't good for their son. Their just needs to be a fairer system that's all. Kaye x

My hubby also had to pay arrears of over a thousand pounds. Debts incurred from the start date of the application. During this time hubby WAS paying his ex through her bank (and buying little extras such as school shoes, coats etc.) Because of the amount the CSA had (wrongly) Calculated onto what he was ALREADY paying for this time, (and it was a decent amount already being paid) they were almost asking more than double at one point whilst his ex was not telling the truth... They expected him to pay the arrears on the past year and also pay the huge wrong assesment amount at the same time Hubby was so angry he stopped the direct debit to the csa, and so the took the payments from source. When his ex finally came clean and the payments were reduced, we never got the amount that WE overpaid to them, yet were expected to pay back the arrears !! The csa may have helped a few people get their money, but its nothing more than a court could do...but fairley. as said Make the non paying parent pay the child support, not the ones whe are already paying. Let the ones already paying be assessed via the courts and any new rise in contributions be paid in the here and now, NOT be backdated. Elaine x

My b/f pays more per month for his daughter than what we have as a family of 4 to live on.

We pay more than our rent! Yes, we have to rent because of the huge amount we pay out to the ex......and she works!

My grandson's biological father (can't possibly call him a Dad) pays nothing towards his son now. When my daughter was working part time, the CSA was taking payments from his account including back payments that he owed. My daughter gave up work, as, among other reasons, she was better off claiming benefits (even the Job Centre told her she was better off not working!) When she started claiming benefits, the maintenance payments were stopped from directly going into her account and became part of her benefit payment. Because of a mix up in the CSA system, grandson's father no longer had payments taken from his account and daughter was only getting the minimum payment with no arrears. He claimed he was not working (a lie) and that he was living at home (a lie) and supporting his mother who couldn't work and his younger siblings (yet more lies). He actually is working full time and has his accomodation supplied with the job which is about 60 miles from his mother's house, and she does work as do his younger siblings. My daughter has lost count of phone calls to the CSA she has made. Each time she tells them where the father is living, where he is working, his N I number and yet the CSA say they can't trace him. He owes my daughter more than £3000 in back payments, but the CSA admit she probably will never get it. I do have lots of sympathy for the absent parents that have excessive payments forced on them, but they are easy targets. The ones the CSA were supposed to get payment from, the ones that paid nothing at all, still seem to be getting away with it because the 'computer system' can't seem to understand plain English and therefore can't trace people even when it is given addresses and phone numbers! Sue xx

We pay exactly £1000 per month - not through the CSA, but we were advised that's what we'd have to pay if it went through the CSA. My step daughter is just 5 years old - what 5 year old costs £1000 a month to keep?! The ex's house and car were paid for outright when they split up by my partner to see them right so she has no mortgage to pay. She walked away with all endowment policies and the like so in all walked away with over £70k to do up the house to her liking that he bought for her. In the past four years the minimum foreign holidays she's had is 5 a year - guess what's paying for that! We haven't been away once in that 4 years. Sorry I lie - 2 nights in the lakes! lol But we've got a lovely home and two nice cars but have nothing left to save for the future and not enough money to comefortably start our own family. Something that breaks my heart on a regular basis. The ex's partner has just bought a family home for them all - £380k cash! Seriously - we know the lad that built it. Gobsmaked isn't the word. Both of them are planning on renting out their own houses too so will make good income from that. I often wish the CSA would again consider people's situations and base the amount they have to pay on what they've got to live on after other responsibilities and not what their salary is.

Emma Our situation is much like yours, his ex is sitting very pretty and seems there isnt much we can do! Dave cant even contact his boys, she wont allow it, i wouldnt mind, but the relationship ended due to her affair. God i get so mad about all this!

Donna, MAD isn't the word is it! I feel for you in your situation though - the difference is with us we have my step daughter friday tea time through till sunday night - never been a problem with access. I find though I'm spending less and less time in the family unit of a weekend because I'm filled with resentment and bitterness and would never ever want the situation in our home to be anything but mad fun times for the little un. I only feel like this of a weekend so have a couple of hours to myself each day we have her to make sure I'm on top form when we are all together. Very sad 'cos I do love her - little angel she is - but my mind constantly thinks 'when it's my turn'. We were expecting them to do the decent thing and offer a reduction in maintanence because of their obviously fabulous circumstances but we're still waiting for pigs to fly by the window! lol x

I know what you mean, his ex has the huge house they lived in, still with the married man she was seeing, works for him so we cant prove her income, she gets tax credits, low mortgage due to the amount my hubby paid off it and we get to pay her £700 a month!! Lucky lady eh!