General Chat

When you see a very close loved one going through emotional turmoil because the partner will not let go, and begins to let anger through, in front of the children... when the said children are bounced between them because that partner will not be amicable , when they do not want you for yourself but don't want anyone else to have you... what a nightmare.!! I am just being there to listen to my loved one. Anne :)))

Susie, Divorce has been fairly common in the circles I move in since the 1970s. The downside of it for me (divorced in 1975) was financial. He bought my half of the house after we'd had it valued, so I had enough for a deposit on a new house of my own. Eighteen months later, the house had more than doubled in value and he sold it for a massive profit and thus ended up far better off than I did. And it was HIM who caused our marriage to break up in the first place - but there was nothing I could do about my financial loss. It was all above board. Time and ithe property market just worked against me. CB >|<

Susie honey, there are so many down sides to divorce, and they go on for years after, in fact they never quite go away. So if pos, try again, if not then walk away. Neither will be easy, but only you know what is best. Good luck, my heart breaks for you xxxx

Hi Susie, Never been there so it's difficult for me to say but I have seen a few and my observation is that the worst thing (if children are involved) is unhappy children. I've seen great unhappiness in our family caused by a messy divorce and had to see children I love very much in great emotional pain. I've also seen the pain in children I have taught and it can last a lifetime. Gwynne.

You'll find out who your true friends are - probably only a couple.

Downside: Complete mental and emotional breakdown, leading to.......Loss of Home, loss of family, loss of job, loss of figure, looks, cofidence, self esteem,loss of me! Gains: Havn't found any yet.......12 years down the road! Suzie

Married for 27 years.... and finally decided enough was enough we separated and 2 yrs down the line got divorced... Cost of Divorce: 150 GBP.... No laywer... filled in the forms and did it myself!! We sold the house when we separated and halved it... halved the cost of the divorce. Upside: Independence!! Freedom!!! Downside: For me, none!! Children grown up. Jacquie xxxx

for those of us who have to seperate then it is right... for those of us who feel the need to stay together thru thick and thin then maybe its the way its suppose to be, reckon everyone will know when they find their soul mate, seperation is common place but so to is absolute commitment, just have to find the right person! everybody has a soul mate, just have to keep looking xx

Ask me again in 3 months, 6 months, and a year Ken x

Downsides? this is going back a few years but: 1) Ripped off by lawyer 2) Poverty 3) The stigma of being a 'single parent', especially if you have one dark haired brown eyed daughter (takes after me) and one blonde haired blue eyed daughter (takes after dad). No-one believes they had the same father!! 4) Following from above - council workers assuming you're an 'easy lay' 5) More poverty 6) CSA 7) Benefits officers not believing you really are living on your own!! 8) Following from above - noticing 'strange men' sat outside your gate in cars. 9) Go to doctor with excrutiating stomach pains - he diagnoses an early miscarriage. The embarrassment YOU feel at his presumption when you tell him you've been celibate for 3 years!!!! 10) Your children blaming you for the break up. 11) Being told daddies friend is more fun than you There are upsides............................... 1) When your children are grown up, visit their father and realise you have sacrificed a lot for them. 2)Following from above, they realise that they love their dad, but he is a total slut at heart and his new name between you becomes 'the tart'. 3)They tell you how anal he was about them eating sprouts. 4)He leaves the woman he left you for!!! This is, of course irrelevant if you divorce and don't have children LOL maggie

All divorces are different... some can be degrading... but not all.... some men walk out too , but some women do as well. I have divorced 3 husbands..(greedy aren't I?) but each one was different and I divorced them for different reasons. Although, I can honestly say, I am happier being on my own, leading my own life, with a loving family that I have raised... no thanks to the 'men' in my life. I would not wish divorce on anyone, but you can't stay together if you don't belong either. Anne :)

hi susie, i would'nt wish it on anyone. if my wife had taken my girls,when she walked out,i would not be here today. bryan.

Just curious as it is a common occurance in today's society!! Love Susie xx