General Chat

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Following on from the upset Emmababy has just experienced, Due to an old personal thread coming back to haunt, People should think twice when posting such personal details of their lives. Lately we have had broken marriages, affairs, people threatening to leave home etc. Even worse, people ask advice on very serious matters, where the wrong advice can make or break. All very private....but made very public. I'm not against people asking for a hug, advice on trivial matters or someone to talk to, but spare the details, if you must disclose juicy details, pm someone you trust. If there's no one who you trust, then don't even dream of placing your life on the boards. As Genes warns... *We would encourage you to think carefully before posting personal details on any of the public areas of our site. If you post your telephone number or address you should be aware that this instantly becomes available to everyone who views it. Please do take care. and that folks, includes your private lives. Elaine x

I have to agrea that we need to be careful , it is a board viewed by the world, so especially things posted in a real name...think carefully as it may come back, like today when you don't expect it. It is tempting to be open when troubled, but before anyone presses the button to post...think...think again....and be careful xxx

Oh and i forgot, another pet hate of mine People who are brassed off over something, Put up a huge whining IM LEAVING thread, make it gather enough replies over say 2 days, then announce they are staying. Why not just leave in those circumstances instead of making a show of it. Don't they realise how desperate they sound for the sympathy vote ? (not the people who are leaving for a good reason I may add...and who DO leave) Elaine x

Elaine Isn't that last post just asking for trouble? It comes across as if you are hinting at people you don't get on with. Why not just ask the person who's bugging you why they've done it?

I agree and now can see the wiseness in the saying of: Never air your dirty laundry in public I'm sure sometimes people may think a problem shared is a problem halfed........ but many of us are complete strangers and no matter how much one hides behind a 'nic name' others will come to know you in time . I am sure. Surely some very sensitive matters should be dealt with within a circle of trust made up of friends and families......... not on a public board for all in sundry to see and pass judgement etc etc. As for those threads that start with' I'm leaving ' I'm afraid I have no time anymore to read , comment or indeed buff ones ego in asking them to stay ........... go if you like, stay if you like but for goodness sake I prefer period drama series on my TV far more entertaining. ( Drama queens or children with a strop? no idea which category but it's oneof them) much happiness Debi ( always using her own name )

Sorry David I'm not pointing the finger at anyone in particular in my last post. Its been far more than a couple of people who have 'Been leaving'. in the few years I've been using these boards. Please don't read between the lines, there is nothing there ! Elaine x

Pet hates of mine! People who start controversial threads and then don't like it when other folk disagree with others views People who are like a dog with a bone and won't stop adding to a thread reckoning they're trying to get their point across People who always stick up for their mates/partners etc But in the real world - does all this really matter? Debby

Ahh Debby, I have to disagree with you one one point 'people who always stick up for their mates'. I always stick up for my mates - when I think they're right. And I'd hope they'd do the same for me.

Beware of people getting too close-remember that most of us dont ever see each other-remember that there is a real world out there with real consequences and responsibilities.The internet,all too often provides a means for people to intrude or enquire without taking the responsibility that real friendship involves-people on the internet can simply just walk away.

Paul Well that's me bu**ered then as I have no 'mates' on here lol. What I maybe should have said is people who stick up for their mates/partners even when they're not right! Debby

Some more pet hates People who start suggestive threads concerning other people on here but not saying who it is but that's only because I'm nosy! People who start controversial threads and then send malicious PMs to those who have contributed on that thread disagreeing People who start arguements late at night 'cos I miss them all and have no idea what's been going on and the threads been deleted by the time I get back on here! People who can't apologise when they've realised they've gone too far. Debby

pet hate number 15 People who only EVER post negative posts, or pick holes in other people Paul (thats NOT aimed at anyone on this thread)

Yes your right Elaine Ive posted an Im leaving thread and returned and Im sorry for that, but I returned because lots of people urged me to., and it got quite a few people upset because I had returned but hey ho that is me lol! What I hate more than that is those one word innuendo threads what people post! Davex

Elaine Well I won't argue but a blind man can see that a post criticising the actions of several members without naming them is going to offend or upset. Debby As usual I agree with almost everything you've said except like Paul, I will defend mates if I'm about unless I disagree with them Alter Ego I have to agree with you. I find it very scary on what some people seem to base the foundations of friendship on. Dee:) As long as you're feeling better now and you're back, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks x

I might have said this before, but it probably won't do any harm to repeat it:- A friend of mine, who is a fully accredited counsellor, once said to me that it really didn't matter what advice you gave, people usually do what they want to do anyway.

Actually Dave B For once I am not talking about you..you left the board, nothing wrong in taking time out from the board. Im talking about those who spout IM LEAVING threads, meaning IM LEAVING GR.. David Owen As I said, Im not getting personal with my comments. They were made in general. To be honest until I read her post on here, I had no idea Jacquie had posted a thread like that lol ! Elaine x

I really think there is a case for tidying up your threads, It's all very well putting private info on here, asking for help, advice or whatever. BUT when it's sorted, DELETE the thread. Things can't be draged up later then. Suex

Cas Yes you are right, most people seek counselling for reassurance and guidance about life experiences and choices, a good counsellor however will already know and believe that his/her client is well geared to make positive choices and decision's for themselves! Lib:))

Cas, I do see your point. My friend was speaking generally, and not in a counsellor/client situation. What I really meant to say was that I think, in the main, people who ask for advice on these boards are not likely to do something totally out of character. For instance, if A tells B she should leave/not leave her husband; B, while she might find A's comments helpful, is unlikely to act purely on B's say so. This of course is only an opinion. :-))