General Chat

Feeling really sad. My beautiful, beautiful cat has just been diagnosed with lymphoma type cancer. In less than a week, he has gone from being a bit off colour, visit to the vet to put our mind at rest (not) and back today for the results. The vet said she couldn't believe the change in him (for the worse) in just 3 days!! It's a very aggressive type, so have decided not to go for chemo treatment. Have opted for 'pick me up' type long lasting injections. BUT I know, very soon, I'm going to have to make 'that' decision. I'm welling up just writing about it! How do *you* decide when *they* have had enough??? Debbie. Update on page 2

Oh Debbie, how sad for you. I think they kind of let you know when theyve had enough. We had a dog for 18 years most loveable thing. Daughter was in final year and semester of college when Pepper got sick so we tried to keep her going as not to put any more pressure on daughter til school was done. Lucky for us all she lasted til then, hubby took her to the vets and held her until the end. It was the hardest thing to do but the kindest for her. Wish you lots of luck and luv Debbie (Hamilton/Ontario)

Debbie - it is so hard when our beloved pets get sick but having been through this many times, I think when the vet tells you your cat or dog is no longer able to enjoy life, then you have to do the kindest thing and stop their suffering. Yes we grieve and that is only natural but it is not possible to explain to them what is happening and therefore we have no choice but to give them peace and freedom from pain and bewilderment. Be thankful for the times you have shared and take comfort from the fact that you have done all you could for them to give them a good life. After a while, if circumstances permit, try and find it in your heart to give a good life to another animal, possibly one that has been abandoned and needs your love and comfort. My thoughts are with you and your cat. I will try to find and nudge a thread with some lovely verses on about our pets. Take care, Liz

Thank you all for those lovely thoughts and kind words. Started me blubbing again! I said with great bravado, I won't let him linger and suffer. It's selfish. But oh it's so hard. I feel like the chief executioner! We're at the pc together just now, having a cuddle. He's 'chatting' away, just like usual. You'd think there was nothing wrong with him, which makes everything seem so unfair. Debbie

Debbie, take each day as it comes and enjoy your cat's company, take some pictures too, and when you know the time has come, feel glad for the time you are having with him now. Thinking of you, Liz Can't find the thread with the verses - maybe someone else can.

Just off to bed, got to try and get some sleep. Everyone's being so kind. Helen that's beautiful, and I hope it's true! You've started me off again! Night all Debbie

We went through that with our cat. It had a liver disease and wasn't digesting its food. It was simply losing weight and it got so thin, with no prospect of recovery. That's when we said 'Enough is enough'. To carry on it would have just got weaker and starved to death. A hard decision to make, but the right one.

Debbie, I agree with the advice to take each day at a time. They may be just animals to some people, but to you and I , and your other caring friends answereing this thread.. they are PART OF THE FAMILY.. If you heard your child or parent , or even yourself had been diagnosed with cancer or other terminal problems , you would be thankful at least to know what was comming, so you could give quality time, oodles of love and do all his/her favourite things together until 'that time'. If your still a bit uncertain, and kitty is still eating ,sleeping, drinking and generally functioning o.k, you will feel time is not quite right. If we were talking about a human, in this situation one would generally want a second oppinion, just to make absolutely sure, would that help you do you think ? How will you know? every instant is different, here is my experience: I brought home my 9 yr old Afghan Hound from the vets(he'd been going off of favourite food, even chocolate!) they said his liver was failing and kindest to 'put him down'. I could not have had it done there anyway.I think after about 5 days, and watching him changing his habbits completely ( like asking to go outside and just laying sleeping in the shade) he became very week and walked rather wobbly and on that final night, stood looking up at the stairway rather than bounding up to our bed first, to pick his fav. spot ! I 'll never forget the following moment when i made 'THE' desision after I stooped down to pick him up- to carry him upstairs, with one arm tucked under his chin and the other scooping behind him , bracing.. by bending my knees..and HE JUST SHOT UP LIKE I WAS LIFTING A BAG OF FEATHERS ! I felt SO guilty. ( Afgans are more or-less like Grey hounds, who always look slim, but they have thick long flowing coats so he hadnt seemed any 'boney-er' than normal. The next morning he wouldnt even drink. I quickly rang the vet.. no hesitation.. i wanted to delay NO MORE... I called them out to the house. I laid outside beside him, stroking his beautiful head telling him over and over what a good boy he was. Finally the car drew up. My heart fell to my boots and I asked him to get up and walk inside for the last time. He climbed on the couch. I felt like i was betraying him... but i think he knew his time had come. Jason had absolutely HATED vets, and it would usually take 2-3 people to get him into the surgery room since they had removed stitches after being 'fixed'. He never looked around at the vet and his very young assistant. He laid his head between his paws and closed his eyes while they swabbed and shaved his leg, to find a good veine.They had a huge Phile full of serum, just to make sure, a strength for a pony, he said.Suddenly half way through the serum Jason suddenly opened his eyes- lifted his head - and was gone just as quickly. They stayed. Checked to make absulutely sure by stethoscope etc. If I could change any of that it would have been that I knew the exact cost of the function- so I could have left the check already made out in an envelope.I felt so sorry for the young assistant for it was as I was writting out the check that I totaly 'lost it' I hope she continued her training as she was so sweet.. but obviously hadnt seen a 'grown women' cry like a baby before . I started this message , just to say that you will know when it's time... I'm sorry my whole experience poured out,but as i go through it again, I am so glad i waited a few more day's until I KNEW it would be grossely selfish to wait any longer. We can't say on their behalf... ' YOU WOULDNT LET A HUMAN DIE LIKE THAT' 'cause as many of us know for once our ANIMALS have a better deal. Your little friend is SO lucky to have a loving, caring you. God Bless xxkxx

So sorry to hear about your beautiful cat, Debbie. Letting our beloved pets go is a really hard decision but I believe that a day too soon is better than a day too late. When life becomes a struggle for them and there's no hope for a recovery, it's time to say goodbye...

So sorry to hear about your litlle cat Deborah. I know it is hard. Germaine xxxx

Deborah. I am so very sorry to hear you're sad news... I really thought last week we would have had that decision to make, thankfully not. All you can do is give all the love to them. What a hard thing to decide on. Thinking of you... Pat

Deborah, i am so sorry for you and puss. I had similar with one of my cats. I always know instinctivly when it is time, i see the look in their eyes. The minute one of mine starts to suffer i help them on their way. You will know when he has no quality of life that the time is right. Take care, stay strong for him. xxxxxx (welling up now too. x)

We had to have our eldest dog put down at the weekend, she was 15 and a bit. There's no definitive answer to the question 'when do you let them go'...our dog had had a couple of minor strokes in recent years, was blind in one eye (and eyesight nearly gone in the other one) and very weak on her back legs. The vet knew her condition and had prescribed pills to strengthen the power in her legs. Over the last fortnight, she seemed more confused than ever and not sure of her bearings or anything around her anymore. We took her to the vets who said that nothing more could be done and we took what we thought was the most humane option, as her quality of life was heavily impinged.

I dont know why I read these threads, I always end up in tears. I had my 15 yr old cat put down last Aug it still hurts like hell. He had been ill just a few months. Toxoplasmosis and kidney trouble. Ended up on 4 pills a day plus diet. He was eating,purring etc and to look at you would never know he was ill. He was a big cat and he started to lose weight. He seemed to have bad day's and good day's. It's too long to go into it all, but I went on the advice of my cousin who is animal daft, and over the years has been in the same situation ...when is the best time?? What she said to me was..If you leave it too late the animal suffers. If you do it too soon you suffer. No matter what you do you will feel bad. I was due to take my cat to the vet on the Mon for a check up. But I decided I would have the vet up to the house and just put him to sleep. I dont regret having him put down as I would hate to see him suffer anymore. What I do regret is not having him sedated before he got 'the jag' It was horrible! Please dont let him suffer for the sake of a few more day's/weeks whatever. Think of the cat. Marion

im so sorry to hear about your cat. We had the same decision to make once. We had my dog Ruffles since i was a baby, she was my first ever memory and was adorable. She became ill when i was about 15/16. Mum took her to the vets and came back without her, it broke all our hearts, but i know that mum did the right thing cos there was nothing they could do to make her better or even make her feel 'comfortable' you know when it will be the right time, but i would say the time has come when the medication doesnt work and the animal is in pain. Best wishes and lots of cuddles for you xxx

Just logged on - what wonderful kind words from everyone! But sad that you are all speaking from the heart, from your experiences. Was feeling much better today, til I started reading the new messages! lol Brian (with an eye) that says it all - doesn't it? Very apt and so beautiful. Kat, you're right, he is a big part of the family! Just like having another child. He never leaves my side, follows me round like a shadow. Everyone loves him to bits - but he's 'my' cat, if you know what I mean. He's real good today! The injections are obviously working. He's eating again. So, we'll just wait and see how he goes on over the next few days. He doesn't seem to have any pain, which is a blessing. Let you know how he gets on later in the week. Thank you all again for your kind words, Debbie

I have had to make that decision 3 weeks ago, and did so with the help of my vet. My decision was very hard, but I was told it was the kindest thing I could have done. So please just give TLC and I really do feel for you and understand. x

They tell you Deborah, believe me ....... when quality of life has gone, that's the time to let them go. Be brave when that time comes. x

Deb, I know just what you are going through, you may remember we had to lose our dear little Lucy dog in June. I look back now and feel guilt that I didnt let her go sooner. She was suffering but I was holding on again for selfish reasons. Im glad she has perked up a bit today, but please realise this may just be a temporary thing as happened with our Lu. It is the kind thing to do. They have no fear of death and know how much they are loved.

Deborah, I am so sorry to hear about your feline friend and companion. I have been there twice before and I thought it was the end of the world. As been suggested take pictures of him, involve other family members too. You will all be able to share in the lovely memories as and when it becomes necessary. Give him a cuddle from me and my current feline friend Lilly Take Care. I am thinking about you. Fi x