General Chat

Gerri, Paula's passing has already brought you and your niece back together again, albeit under very sad circumstances. As for you in effect being compared to her by your parents, I've often thought that in my family. I have two younger brothers (I'm 49, Jeff 46, Chris 41) and our parents always seem to favour Jeff and his wife (who live miles away). However, it turns out that although they talk a lot about Jeff in my company, when they're in Jeff's company they talk a lot about Chris and I ! We found this out purely by all talking about it, and thankfully there's no resentment, although there could easily have been. Anyway, enough waffle from me. Your feelings show that she was obviously much loved. Take care now. x

My thoughts are with you Gerri Chrissie xx

Gerry... I'm so very sorry for you and the tragic loss of your sister. I have been worrying myself sick these last few days as my dau in law is in hospital with meningitis, but the care and support I have received from these wonderful GR friends has got me through. They are wonderfully supportive and I am sure they will all be to you too. Take care, and I hope you feel better in the days and weeks to come

Gerri my heart goes out to you , however draw strength that you brought the family together and that peace and love reigned in your sister's life again. You gave your family a chance to remember the good things instead of the sad scenerio of of all those IF'S......IF only this or that. You must draw your strength from this. I have 2 sisters. My youngest is in WGC - not far from you Gerri - and although I am in Northern Ireland we see each other 2 or 3 times a year and call at least once a week. I love her dearly. We also have a middle sis who sadly has almost cut herself off from us , something I nor my wee sis can do anything about sadly, everything is on her terms.....she calls us when she feels like it ( always hides her telephone number ) and wont give us her address. It's not a family feud , its our sis feeling down and not worthy........ very sad but we keep chipping away. My thoughts are of you and your family today Gerri , may your heart soon lighten from such saddness. Much happiness Debi

Gerri My thoughts are with you at this sad time, Margaret

Hi Gerri, So sorry to hear about your sister. Linda x

(((((HUGS))))), there is nothing I can say to take away the pain, if there was I would say it, so I am sending hugs to the whole family. Bev

I went yesterday to reg. the death... The reg. misspelt something! and I went for his throat! lol (he was allowed to change the spelling while I was there but not after) He also had to spell(even if it was wrong)as it was spelt from the Hospital doctor. I told him that I was researching my family tree and it was times like this that made our job harder. He told me that he was also researching his own family tree and cos of this, that is how he got this job. He was a lovely lovely man. We had alot in common and chatted about family research. (got a few hints too!) It was pure heaven! when I watched him write MY name as sister of the deceased, present at the death of..... 100 years from now a rellie will match me as the sister of Paula Judith White. That was very comforting, the same as all your replys here. Thankyou xxx

God love you Gerri, thinking of you. M.

I have just read all these replys yet again and yes...your right. These messages are very comforting as your not just words on a screen....your ALL real people with hearts and feelings. Thankyou for being here for me Love to you all xx Did I tell you about the message I found on my answer machine the day after she died? It was dated 9/11/05 (never heard it before!!!!!)she died on the17th. It was Paula saying......'Catch you later....Bye' I have taped it to keep. Gerri xxx

Gerri So sorry for your loss. I have three daughters. Two of them have not spoken to each other for ten years, and when I try to mediate, each says 'I hate her guts'. It absolutely breaks my heart. I love ALL of them. Olde Crone

Funerals on Thursday 1/12/05. 12 noon. Kings Langley church. Burial. That awful day when Paula died seems so long ago now (I have lost all track of time) but all the hurting has returned with avengence today. All her 4 children have thanked me for keeping it all together for them that day...but...can i keep it up for just a while longer? I'm struggling... I miss her so much and need her right now! She has always been there for me...now she's not. Sorry... I'm having a bad day :-((( (it helps writing it down)

Gerri, nothing I can say but familly is family;;; (((big hug for you))) Babs

Gerri its your turn be there for you, in doing so you & everyone else will be there for each other ALL OF YOU together no one should look for anyone else to be any stronger, just be together share your grief, release it. Gerri you were bound to get days like today it will happen especially so soon after Paula leaving you & the funeral still in front of you. It will be alright it will be very hard but you & everyone else count on each, you will get through it together. Thinking of you my friend x Love Pat x

Gerri, you have done well to help your nieces and nephews so much but you are allowed to have feelings too and I am sure they will understand if you let go now and again. Do you 'talk' to Paula now, tell her how much you loved her and miss her and ask her to help you through - she will know and help you I am sure, even tho her physical self is no longer here, I am sure she is watching over you and thanking you herself for all you have done and are doing. It is no crime to grieve and to be seen to be sad sometimes, no one will think any the less of you and they won't feel you are letting them down. It will take you a long time to come to terms with losing Paula but time does ease the pain - think of the words to Unchained Melody - time goes by so slowly but time can do so much - you will laugh and cry on Thursday but just be glad of the time you did have together and treasure those memories. I hope you feel better soon. I am usually around at this time of night so don't be afraid to come on here and ask for help. Thinking of you. Liz Have you seen my thread about Mabel - she was the lady I told you about when you needed some advice/help a few months ago?