General Chat

Thank you everyone for your thoughtful and sensitive replies. I have worried so much about this that I don't think I could think rationally about it anymore, and I really needed to sound off. As I expected, you have all been fantastic. The final straw came this morning when I found yesterday's lunch comprising peanut buttter sandwich on home-made milk bread (her favourite), cereal bar and apple completely uneaten. When I asked what she did eat, she shrugged and said her friend had given her some crisps. i did try school dinners for a while (at her request) but the school contacted me to say she wasn't eating them either. i think I am going to do as suggested and take away all pressure. I will let her pack her own lunchbox, and get a supply of chicken nuggets (cringe) for her tea. She can then choose them or what we are having. Hopefully she will get bored of the c**p before too long. I have just returned with Bj's big bro CJ from the orthodontist who reckons he has one of the worst overbite problems he has seen, and must start major brace work asap, and he will probably need surgery on his jaw when he is 17. CJ was so wonderful, taking it in all in his stride with a shrug and an 'Oh well...' I could cry! Liz x

Hi Liz How about trying home made smoothies? i brought a blender from A*gos for £10 and do my own home made smoothies. A nice easy one is 150 ml of milk and a banana. Blend it for about 30 seconds and you get a yummy thick but drinkable smoothie - a good way to get her drinking milk and having fruit. You could get her to watch the film Cocktail with Tom Cruise (no female can resist Tom in that film) :-) and tell her that your doing your own cocktails :-) Karen

Hi, I make smoothies for myself every morning using fresh or frozen fruit, milk and yogurt. Have offered them to BJ, she won't even take a sip. Just pulls a face and says 'Eewwwww, that's minging' or something similar. Back to the drawing board... Liz

HUGE HUG BABE!! xx

This is the kind of nightmare I dread might happen to us with our kids. I work in the healthy eating field and so have some knowledge but really don't have any answers for this. From what I've read on this thread my instinct is that the problem is pscyhological rather than dietary. I really would suggest talking to someone professional - maybe your gp in the first instance - with or without your daughter present depending on how you think that would work for you. Someone outside of the problem may be able to help you both see beyond your battle of wills and find a way forward. Otherwise I am worried that a solvable problem could become an entrenched one. I wish you luck. Angela

Thank you for the hug Pink, it is very much appreciated. Hi Angela, I have considered going to the GP (without her), and hubby thinks that is a good idea. I will see how things go over the weekend, and maybe go next week. Its funny, I go to my art class on a Friday with our GP's wife, they are friends from church, and she is a Doctor too, but not working now. I never like to ask her stuff like this though, I think she might think I am being cheeky. Maybe I'll run it by her this Fri and see what she thinks. Liz x

Liz I think that would be a great idea. I'm like you, I don't like to bother people I work with at work by asking advice on medical things even though they are qualified doctors. But you could always broach the subject carefully, saying you hope she doesn't mind you asking and you won't be offended if she would rather not offer any advice but you'd be grateful for her thoughts on whether you should bother your doctor ....... I've always found my colleagues are more than willing to help and its me that worries about asking. Something like this is important and you need to do everything you can for your daughter so its a case needs must. Angela

Hi Liz BJ sounds exactly like my daughter. She started picking at the age of 12. Started off with just a yougurt for brekkie, an apple at lunch and picking at her dinner - ate only the meat. However would eat chips, crisps and other high sugar salt food. I'm afraid I let it ride. She soon got fed up with the lack of variety and the sluggishness it all brought. Now aged 14 she eats better , although will binge on rubbish occassionally, most of the time she'll eat her dinner in the evening with us , still has a yogurt for brekkie, but lunch is half a turkey sandwich or a cheese one , eats fruit that she buys herself ( we gave her money to choose her own fruit weekly/daily) makes smoothies and juices apple & oranges regularly........... this way she is in control to a degree. try not to panic..........its prolly a phase............but I know how useless words can be at times like this...........((hugs))

Thanks Angela and Deborah. I do try not to worry but... Liz x

c&P ''The final straw came this morning when I found yesterday's lunch comprising peanut buttter sandwich on home-made milk bread (her favourite), cereal bar and apple completely uneaten. When I asked what she did eat, she shrugged and said her friend had given her some crisps.'' i think that says it all really - she thinks she has you over a barel - if she was heading towrads anorexia or something similar, she'd have made that food disappear somewhere, and not have an issue made out of it.Especially as it sounds as though you bend over backwards to give her what she likes- except 'forbidden' things, which is what she is 'waving back' at you. Agree with yourself to do a month of junk, then maybe try and alter things a bit, back to your way. Jess

Hi Jess, There speaks the voice of reason lol. I have to take her to the Dance shop after school today to pick up her Irish shoes (don't ask) and we go past Tesco, so I'll take her in and get her to choose some nice salty fatty junk to eat whist the rest of us eat normal stuff. I so hope this works... Liz x

Might be worth contacting the Eating Disorders people for advice too. Good luck.