General Chat

nudge

so sorry all didnt know how to update this message so ive done a new one Thanks

Are you too chicken to tell us you were too chicken to go or are you still in shock from what you found out? Cant be all that bad surely. It was about the time of the depression, perhaps her father was out of work and financial pressures caused her mum to have a breakdown or some such. Nothing to be ashamed of. These things happen. Your silence is making us extra curious. (My husband considers me to be a VERY curious sort of creature!)

nudging

I hope you dont think Im being nosy. I just want to know whether you decided to go or whether you thought discretion was the better part of valour as they say (in other words you chickened out!). While it would be nice to know the rest I am not pressing you to give it.

Please dont keep us in suspenders Emma. Did you go or not?

i wondered how it had gone too ( or if it had happened)

Nudge. How did it go or didnt it?

Hi Emma I don't suppose they would let you look at the file on your own first ? If they did let you, you could then decide whether to encourage your mum to see it or not. Although she might be a 'tough old boot' I don't expect she has had to deal with anything like this before. Knowing the truth can be liberating but it would be sad if it caused your mum pain at her time of life.

nudge to keep it on top.

It is only natural your mother should be feeling apprehensive at this stage, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't look at the file. Maybe when she gets there she can ask to have a chance to decide after talking with the social worker or whoever has this file. I am sure once she is that close, she will decide to look, or she can ask to come back another day. As you said in your last comment, go with the flow. Good luck. Let us know how you get on. At least by you finding out this far, she has the opportunity to say yea or nay, if you hadn't looked for her, she would never have had the choice. I think you did right.

nudge

thankou for all the replies i think we ll sleep on it and just go with the flow as they say

It's got to be yr mum's decision only. It's essentially her past rather than yours. I understand the 'need to know' and the apprehension. I don't know many people who regret having found the information out about their past.

Emma Ultimately this is a decision for your mother. Whatever opinions everyone else on these boards has, you and she shouldn't let them affect what you do. nell

nudge

Its not actually going to change much in your life though, is it?

nudge

hello jess well shes been facinated by what ive found out and felt enthusiastic so far i suppose its the unknown we both feel

nudge