General Chat

what would you do - in his homework diary. I've tried talking to him, but he just says tell his teacher and he won't name names........

Week beg 12th June “No 1 he won’t let me look what he’s writing No 2 he look at me nastily No 3 People look strangely at me No4 Me die !!! No 5 No one like me!!” Week beg 26th June “worst ever week, no friends, hated by everyone, I’m worst ever person” “my life is the worst ever” Picture with “die Joe” written in it. “horrible week kill me” E :-(

Elaine has his teacher not seen it as tey are meant to look at the diaries. Sounds like a bad case of bullying. Go and see the school just to be on the safe side

watch him closely, reassure him and then go straight to his school tomorrow Persuade him to tell you who they are and reassure him you will not take matters into your own hands, explain to him his teachers will keep an eye on tham to make sure they dont hurt him Elaine x

Go to teacher fast - before holidays begin - your lad needs help. Ann

I would try and talk to him, or have a quiet word with his teacher to see if they know what could be wrong,and let her know what he has written. Sound's as if someting is wrong. Marion

Oh Elaine :o( I think you'd better go and see his teacher.It does sound like he might be being bullied. I hope you manage to sort it out soon. Helenxxxx

As you have tried speaking to him I would be inclined to have a 'quiet' word with his teacher to see if she has noticed anything going on. I would think it is a cry for help and that he is being bullied, but you need professional advice. Ann Glos

This is so sad, as others have said i think you need to speak to the head, also take the homework book with you. May i ask do you have problems getting him to go to school. do he have friends out of school. Shirley Ann.

Thanks, have written a letter to teacher and copied entries incase they get rubbed out. Thing is she has signed his diary right up until last week, so she must have seen them. Joe is more emotional than most, but the fact he wants me to talk to her means alot to me. I do know of one child that has been a problem recently, but its not just aimed at Joe. There is also alot going on a school with infants and juniors merging and teachers losing jobs that its very difficult to talk to anyone. Thanks again, I know you all are right, I just needed a little push cos I not to good at talking to the school. E

Have just spoken to a friend who is a parent gov'nr and she has advised me to hand letter to teacher tomorrow am and tell them i will be back at end of school to discuss the matter with teacher & head. (This will give them tim to find out whats going on and find a solution) My friend will also be on hand to take things further if Im not happy. Will let you know what happens E x

Hi Elaine, If the school can't deal with it properly can you contact your doctor for a referral to the CAHMS team, which might be able to give support to your son. It is the child and adolscent mental health team that has a variety of remits and has trained counsellors and pyschologists on hand that can try and understand why he feels so low. It is sad to read it. I have a young child of around the same age and I'd be gutted if I found that in his book. As he is feeling so low, I think it certainly needs action now and hopefully the school head can get someone in for him to talk to and ask his teacher why she has not dealt with it before and let it build up to this situation. Good luck and we'll be thinking of you. Claire

Just this minute read this Elaine. You are definatley doing the right thing in getting to see this teacher and the Head. Not much can be done if you leave it until they have broke up from school. This horrible Bully may have contact with your Son during the school holidays. Who knows what could happen if this is the case. Jenny.

Oh Elaine please go and see the teacher and try and get to the bottom of whats wrong Good Luck Lindax

im afraid to say elaine i wouldnt be leaving his side id be beside him in his room at night, this is really disturbing, im sure he will name them, try a few names if you know any, ask 'is it so and so' he may at 10 year old give in and name um, insist his teacher do something immediately and his head teacher, if they say theyll look into it threaten to join in his class till they do something poor little lad, i send him hugs and be brave little man theres lots love you

I just saw this and agree with everything that's been said. Would just like to add one point though - although at 10 years old it's important to talk wih Joe and have a plan to deal with things that he is comfortable with too as far as possible, ultimately, you are his Mum and you are in charge. If you feel that you need to do something to deal with this that he is not happy with, talk to someone that he doesn't want you to talk to for instance, it's down to you to do what needs doing while reasurring him at the same time. You're his Mum, doing what you believe to be best for him, and he needs to know that, at 10, he doesn't need to deal with it all alone. Schools can be intimidating, I know, but again, you're his Mum, and are the expert where Joe is concerned, no-one else. Remember that, and be confident. (If I ever find a person intimidating, I try to remember that they were once a screaming baby with a nappy that needed changing! :-)) I hope that the school is supportive and deals with this appropriately. I'll be thinking of you. x

Hi Elaine, I had a very similar experience not so long back and it broke my heart that kids could be so awful.........i found this in a book that mine hide from me.... DISLIKE........ 1. GOING INTO SCHOOL,THEY HIDE BEHIDE THE TREES AND JUMP OUT AND HIT ME. 2.PLAYTIMES ..THEY CALL ME NAMES ...LIKE COME ON FATTIE... 3.SOME TEACHERS , THEY DON`T BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL AND MUCH MORE. Came to a head when she came out of school one afternoon and was nearly run over,,,,,,,,,,she came running out of the school and run straight across the road without looking crying her eyes out........she had been given a letter telling her how much everybody hated her and lots of children had signed it. I took the letter back to the school saw the head and between him and the school governors we got it sorted. Thank God she has now left that school and in a new school and is much happier and feels safe. Please don`t let go...........See the Head and if you don`t the answers you want take it further. Thinking of you both and sending hugs... R.B.

From personal experience I would say this is definate a case of bullying. Can we presume that Joe is your son ? ... or could this be a reference to the name of the bully ... I sincerely hope it's the latter. *update - have just read ALL the replies ) You must inform the school tomorrow morning at 8.30, and just keep ringing until they answer. Maybe you could 'follow' your son to school to watch who he speaks with or communicates with. ? ... without him knowing ? If he ever mentions any name more than once in general chitchat, give the name to the Head at sch, it MAY be a friend who could give information to the Head when asked. Try not to let him know that you are concerned tonight, it will only add to his trouble's, if he thinks you are worrying. El;aine ;-)

Do not bother with the teacher, tomorrow at the start of school be stood outside the Heads office with all evidence.......if you can leave your son at home with someone, do so, do not be satisfied with words, you want names and a plan of action, if you dont get it contact the education dept and change his school, I would not let that kid have to go through one for minute of misery, also do you know any of the governors, if you do contact them and bring them into it...........as you may gather I went through something similar many years ago............ Barbara..xx

Again thank you to everyone. When I read his comments, I really didn't know what to do. Felt so bad that I had missed it let alone the teacher. Hubbys away til next week and had no one to talk to. Should have known you lot would help me. I feel more in control and have written down some points just to give me a boost of confidence when I talk to them tomorrow. thanks again so much! Joe is sleeping now and was fine today (being his birthday helped). having time to reflect, I have noticed a change in his behaviour recently, arguments with elder brother and lashing out verbally and physically (sp) I had put it down to sibling rivaly. But then my eldest who's 12 said 'mum sometimes when we are hurting, we hurt the people we love' Anyway, Im so grateful for you comments, its helped me to take this further tomorrow. Goodnight and I will let you all know the outcome tomorrow, E x