General Chat

Gwyn, I found the march-outs nerve-wracking, and was almost compelled to stand to attention whilst these bods checked the place out even though we were civilians! Must admit my little chest puffed out when we were commended - daft, isn't it? I was emulsioning our kitchen in Germany, prior to our departure (easier than scrubbing the 'orrible walls!) when I came a nasty purler off the step ladder. I was just finishing off above the eye-level grill around the cooker when the ladder went out from under me. I finished up in an unladylike heap, entangled in the step ladder, and thought I was dying. What a mess I made of the cooker! Support pans finished up on the floor, and the front of the grill was facing the hob, having clobbered it on my way down. Up to the medical centre where they said I had just badly dented and bruised my leg bone - not broken, thank Gawd. Not good news a week before we finished our tour............ Chris

Christine March outs were quite something, weren't they? There were always tales of what had happened to other folk.....mirrors to view under toilet rim, rolling back carpets etc. but I didn't experience that. I did have a chap run his hand across the hall floor tiles in Cyprus though, at a pre marchout. Thank goodness the red dust from the desert wasn't blowing that way that day. Gwyn

Ours wasn't brilliantly clean - she had made some attempt at cleaning it, but not that much. She also left some rubbish and old furniture which she knew we didn't want. The house needed a ton of work doing and has been a bottomless pit where money is concerned - just the Kitchen to replace and Double Glazing to fit and it wil be finished. Should only take another 10 years! lol Kaye x

Hi, 'Two houses ago' we bought a very pretty 200 year old cottage, completely smitten with the layout and location. We bought from a youngish couple, who it seemed were 'puppy farmers' and not exactly into cleanliness. The bathroom was a combination of canary yellow and black, and filthy. We found mummified dead rats in the bathroom cupboard and airing cupboard, frogs hopping down the inner hallway, and a septic tank that was backfilling. I initially thought somebody had died under the floorboards, until we located the source of sewage outside the sitting room window!. Mice had built up a breeding colony (inside and out), and in every room there lurked one of those old fashioned stick-on air freshners. We actually counted over 20 of these air freshners - on the ceiling beams, in cupboards and behind the loos - which the previous owner thought a much better idea than actual housework. Well, these things one doesn't notice when viewing the property in the height of summer with all the doors and windows open........... My husband was attached to the Services abroad, so we had the obligatory 'march-out' from a each quarter at the end of our tour - and by golly, nothing was missed. Hard work at the time, with three kids in tow, but at least you knew that the next quarter you moved into would be spotless. It never fails to amaze me how some perfectly fit and able folk can live in such squalor - soap, water and a bit of elbow grease costs nowt! Chris

When we moved 4 years ago, I cleaned our house from top to bottom. I even had the carpets cleaned and the window cleaner came 2 and half weeks early - windows done inside and out so. Meters and everything all perfect. Spotless - we left everything labelled and gave them clear instructions on things. I left the local taxi number, drs surgery and takeaway menu cards for them. I made them up a lovely little basket with teabags, coffee, sugar, fruit, biscuits and crips and a New home card. Hubby thought I was mad ! They apparently went in with the keys, dumped some black bags inside and left with the basket. Three weeks later we had a letter from them sending us an electric bill for £1.06 !!! We just paid it, but I was a bit cross. I had checked the meter and they had obviously read from the days after when they moved in. The worst thing was that we were living in a house that was a pit. We bought the house from a oldman that went into a home. The sons had tried to clean it up a bit, you could tell from where they had stripped out the carpet to burn and had previously wiped the door frames down to the carpet. You could see black oooze along that level. When we ripped out the kitchen I put my hands under the sink unit to lift it and got a handful of hair and black ooooze. They had also left the toilet which had not been working well, now completly broken with a disgusting bucket next to it. The worst thing was on the 1st nite sleeping in the one reasonable room a mouse ran across the bottom of the sleeping bag. Hows that for yucky.

Our first one was new, so just bare boards and the back garden was just bare earth (with odd bricks sticking out). Our present one was clean, but the previous owners had taken a couple of light fittings and left bare wires. And when they removed their gas cooker they didn't seal the pipe, just put a cap on it, so the first night we had British Gas out to make it safe!

... errr .... a filthy hovel that needed tons of work doing to it ! Six years later, it's still a filthy hovel, but I've done all the work ! ... just not big on housework :-)) Elaine :-)

We were really lucky Wendy, the previous owners had left it spotless - I was so glad because I had two young children and was pregnant at the time.......

Just thought - perhaps the folk who previously had our bungalow had a computer !! Stella

Ours was particularly bad. BUT the old man had died, and he had been his wifes carer for years prior to that. Then he got too old to be able to look after himself properly. I was not well enough to help my OH to clean it bfore we moved. Our son was moving at the same time and working through the day, so OH had only help from our friend. As our strength goes, I understand the poor old man wose house we took over. Deanna X

Our bungalow was filthy - and I mean FILTHY. The grease on the kitchen walls had to be scraped off, and the toilet - well, say no more !! There were 3 layers of wallpaper everywhere and you needed a safari-suit to walk in the garden. We had to re-wire, replace windows, central-heating system, also no worktops in kitchen. The couple who owned it previously were not elderley either !! Stella

The house we live in now was filthy when we viewed, there was even mud on the ceiling. Carpets were more like worn out blankets and there was an awful lot of decorating to be done (like the whole house - inside and out). Garden was a messy jungle. Because of this it was going really cheap - only reason we could afford a house in this neighbourhood. Have now finished all repair work and decorating - and guess what? We're thinking of moving again - we must be nuts!!!!!

Our new house was owned by a builder and his 'lady.' He appears to have gone to the Bodgitt & Scarper school of building and his wife appears to have had a chemical imbalance, ie a total lack of any cleaning chemicals in the house whatsoever. Thanks to their slovenly ways and his England Footballer approach (great build up but complete inability to finish) we got the house for £30,000 less than it is actually worth. It's costing £10,000 to put it all straight which means a nice saving of £20,000. It's a fabulous house in a wondeful location so I am thrilled to bits that every other viewer took one look and walked away.

My first home was an absolute disgrace the day we moved in...it was horrendous.....now we were pretty skint to start with but what does a bit of soap and water cost.....?? It was also painted a delightful battleship grey with emerald green glossed skirting boards....that was the living room!!......The loo was also battleship grey with cerise gloss skirting boards and window frame...to match the grey loo I suppose!! The bathroom was meant to be a peachy colour but was more minging nicotine yellow actually.....why in the bathroom??? Bedroom was presentable but I did eventually decorate it....and same with kitchen :-) The parting shot from the tennants who had had their home sold from under them was 'If you find a brown lump like and oxo cube gona bring it round to us...we lost it in the move'.......WHAT?????? It was promptly hoovered up and binned!!! Our present house we moved into 4 yrs ago and even though it had belonged to an old lady it was perfectly ok to start with and only as we got settled have we done bits & pieces.......like changed the bathroom suite this year from a dusky pink to a nice white one and fitted new kitchen 2yrs ago...but have now got an extension planned so the kitchen is being moved there and few more units being added....but that's all we've really needed to do because we wanted to do it. RDA.x.

Hello Wendy, nice to see you on the board again. the house was clean we moved into in april, but it needed decorating to our taste, the garden is having a complete overhaul, it looks like a ploughed feild and a builders yard at the moment, but that is down to my hubby,and i haven't a clue to what he is doing. How was your new home Wendy?

Oh dear, our house is on the market and I never offer a cup of tea to the people who view. We moved into our house 20yrs ago after it was occupied by my FIL. It hadn't been modernised or redecorated since before WW11! We had great fun modernising it and are only selling because six bedrooms and three bathrooms are too much of a pain to maintain with last daughter leaving home this summer. Of course, it is in pristine condition now, never was when the kids were small!

Sheila... sounds like you bought our last house then ? lol

We had no illusions when we bought this as we knew there was a lot to do. The people we bought from were lovely, but untidy and not particularly houseproud! I had to do some fairly severe cleaning in bathroom and round the cooker but it wasn't too bad.

I discovered that the coloured frosted glass of the front porch was really colourless once it met a Flash-soaked cloth, likewise the white paint emerged from a darker hue too. We couldn't understand all the tiny holes on one wall, but a chat with adjoining neighbours revealed that they were made in clusters of 3 each evening as the previous owners played darts. .... should have guessed really by the non-nicotine square shape on the browned wall. 'We'll leave you the fiited carpet and the dishwasher' Lovely. The carpet backing,- foam, fell off in crumbs when I tried to clean under it and the dish washer was so congealed with grease that it made a quick exit too. I'm one of the world's worst when it comes to housework but I cannot be faulted on the condition I leave a place ready for the next occupant. Too many years of Army March-Outs trained me well. Gwyn

It was brand new, so pretty much spotless. We've spent the last 3 years getting it to the filthy hovel stage... lol