General Chat

has it made you violent?

I had a few smacks but not many..... good girl me!! But no I'm not violent. Deanna X

I got the odd slap, but only off Mum - usually when I answered her back and it has done me no harm whatsoever - just a slap on the back of the legs or arms. Stella

I was smacked very very occasionally,(on the back of my legs) and only if I had done something very naughty. It never did me any harm and I am not a violent person at all. catherine xx

Granny Carr How can you know? I was smacked occasionally and I occasionally smacked my kids. Is that violent? Would I have not smacked them if I hadn't been smacked? No idea. I guess if you are regularly beaten it can have a bad effect - this happened to both Hitler and Stalin in their childhoods. On the other hand, some victims of violent childhoods aren't violent. We are shaped by our circumstances, but we do have choices. nell

No, I'm not violent and walk away from confrontation. Had very strict parents and memories of some of the hidings I had as a kid are still with me today........ :)

I can only remmber being smacked twice as a child... and I know I deserved it on both occasionans. Has it made me violent ? No, not at all, and I wouldn't consider my father a violent man either.

In my own opinion, there are times when a child has to be smacked, eg a baby going towards a fire. Providing it is a smack, and not a whacking thump then I do not think it does make you a violent person. Just more respectful.

I only recall being smacked twice...Mum threatened me with a belt..thats was quite enough to scare the living day lights out of me and make me listen to her. I dont agree with smacking.....but the odd quick slap behind the leg, on the odd occasion doesnt hurt i guess? And no im not violent (except when my painting goes wrong and i throw the pallette in the sink)

I was smacked as a child but have grown into a very non-violent person. I do not smack my own children. Liz

Reading Joans reply, it is funny but if ever you did anything wrong at say school, we always got a 2nd telling off, as if the first one was not enough. 0h happy days.

My son is 2 1/2 and I don't smack him, he get so sit on the time out chair and is told why he is there and how it's not nice to do that. He understands and responds very well. But then every child is different. Mines very loving and hardly does anything naughty. Might change when he gets older but I will cross that bridge. catherine xx

I do'nt know if that would work for every child Katherine, but if it works for you, then all well and good. I used to send mine upstairs (when I was really mad), and they knew not to come down until I said so. They were older than 2 1/2 though.

I was smacked as a child, and I am the most non-violent person I know.

I was smacked lots and deserved it:) Never been violent in the slightest.

Grampa you and me both.

Hi Grannie I do that with my eldest who is 9. She goes to her room, the worst thing you can do, esp without supper. catherine xx

Well, never thought I would write these words ... but .. Yes, I was smacked and beaten as a child, but no, it has made me 'afraid' of violence, rather than made me violent. However, I have got an evil temper when crossed, but I only ever direct it at adults ... never at a child. My evil temper is inherited through blood, not because of anything I endured, or I would have been locked up years ago. I have found, that since both my children have been used to a quiet, happy life, full of fun and laughter, if I raise my voice in a serious manner, it does enough to make them behave. There is a very big difference between repremanding or smacking a child once, and *beating* them. Elaine ;-)

Hi Granny, if I was ever smacked as a child, it must have been very rarely as I can't remember it. If I was naughtly, my dad used to have a look that put me in my place, and he was the quietest man you could ever know. My mum used to say 'Wait till your father gets home, and the thought of THAT look was enough to stop me in my tracks!! He could probably do it now if he tried, and I am 41!! I don't smack my children either, although I do threaten that I will!! My 20 year old son is now 6ft 1 and my 17 year old daughter is taller than me, not hard as I am just over 5 foot. My 10 year old son is not much smaller than me, and will probably take over me in the next year, so don't think my threats will have much effect on him for longer! Best wishes Carol x

If I needed it then yes, but my mom always warned us, stop that or I'll smack you, if we didn't stop it, we were smacked, I raised my kids the same way, I was never beaten or ill treated, nor were my kids, and my middle son actualy thanked me for being strong with him, as he now understands why I did smack, he is 22, so was I a bad mother, no I don't think so all 3 of my sons tell me they love me and I tell them that I love them, they know that some times I didn't like their behavior, but I have always loved them. Bev