General Chat

I'm not going to be as delightful as Grace sounds...and i am not going to settle for a No. I WANNA GO TO DIGGERLAND......oh..oh...oh...PLEASE Take me with you! I'll sqweam and sqweam and sqweam until I'm sick...and i can!! Jess x

As the youngest of three I'm going to say yes let her go.............Only because I know what it's like to be the youngest when the family has gone through hard times and the youngest always ends up with hand-me-downs of everything and I'm not going to say forgotten about but are left to kind of 'make do'.........when our family became able to afford more I was spoilt but that was because my parents seen what I had put up with and were trying to make up for it...........therefore if I asked for anything I got it but I never ever played on it for expensive stuff or pushed my luck as I knew that money was not as tight as it had been before but could very easily go back to that way. My siblings were a bit older than me and had their own lives to be getting on with and were never bothered by the fact that I was finally getting what I'd missed out on. Let her go on the trip and if things are making you feel 'funny' about going back on your word maybe try and get her to meet you some of the way on the cost but bare in mind she has a long way to go through college and with very little chance to relax with all the study etc she'll have to do and also remember it was her sister that asked again not her and if she's never mentioned it again or pestered you about it then it means she ahd accepted your first decision and will probably be thrilled to know she's getting a proper break before going back to the grindstone........and her sister gets a trustworthy helper to boot!!!!! Don't feel guilty about your previous decision, just let her go and enjoy herself :-) RDA.x.

Here's a ((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))))))) you daft thing!!! Have a good weep then a cup of tea then think about the good time you are going to have when they get here! Jen x

Once again, thank you all for your replies. I know it may sound stupid but I really did need your opinions. I cannot stand spoilt children that think everything is there for the asking, whether their parents can afford it or not. Most probably because I never had nothing as a child and envied all those that could. I just felt so guilty that my older children have not had half as much as my youngest and felt really worried. Grace will be back home on Friday she has been down the Midlands for the last week. As we now have Chloe my first Granddaughter, eldest two Daughters and four Grandsons will be coming up also. We are all going to 'Diggerland' on Saturday. We took eldest Grandson a couple of years ago, and had a fantastic time, we just wished all of the boys could have been with us. So weather permitting my wish will be granted. Although I live in a lovely place right by the sea, I would give anything to be nearer to my older Daughters and Grandsons. For some reason, I am sitting her sobbing my little heart out. jenny x

It is hard to treat your children EXACTLY alike at times, but we have tried very hard, if one needed financial help, we made sure the others got the same amount in some form or other.

Jen , I was going to say Yes too, with the proviso that between now and when she goes that she earns as much as poss to pay you backperhaps half of the cost , my reasoning behind this is that you all acknowledge that you can afford it now and it is a lovely treat for doing well in her exams etc. But the problem now is the decision has been taken by others and not you, and now perhaps you need to make a bit of a stand and say Great that she's going, yes you will pay for the trip BUT expenses are all down to her!!!! Maybe that way she will see that you dont get something for nothing! I agree she will be a big help to her Sis too which is probably why Sis suggested it ! (A canny lass!) You will be less worried about this trip than if she was going away with her mates to Spain (trust me!!) Jen x

Jenny, maybe her sister thinks she will be a help with the little one. We went with our son when the youngest was fifteen months and it was a good job we did as they needed somebody to watch her while theyw ent on rides etc. So you could make it a condition that she helps them. Ann glos

Well I was going to say let her go but encourage her to pay you back, especially if her sister really wants her there and there is this chance. However, I think your husband has done the dirty on you all by transferring the money thereby making the decision without your final thoughts being heard. I think you should make it a condition that your daughter does pay it back, as and when she can and/or by forgoing big birthday and Christmas gifts till it is paid for. And she can help with anyone in the family who needs a hand, to repay the favour. She could help Lloyd and Toni at home a bit, with little Chloe and doing things in their home for them, etc Just so she can feel she has earned the trip and the others might not feel any resentment. Hope she has a good time anyway - that they all do in facr - and it will be nice for her sister to have her there. Liz

Unknown to me, Daughter number two rang the Travel Company or whoever yesturday. Booking was originally for two adults and two children, although Adam will not be 1year until 21st August, she had paid for a seat on the plane for him as a child, not an infant. She asked about Grace going and they said she would have his seat, at extra cost, but he will have to travel on Mums lap. Final decision has been taken from me. Hubby has just rung me to say he has transferred money into Daughters account.. Flight etc. is being arranged as I speak. Looks like Grace is going after all, without further consultation with me. Spoilt or just lucky girl? Jenny in a bit of a huff. X

Jenny, I think only you can decide really. Changing your mind because of change of circumstance would not be going back on your word. When you said no before you meant it and she accepted it. She has been working hard for her exams and you have said she has done well so she probably has not had time to earn the money to pay for it. As it is her older sister who has asked if she can go it doesn't seem that it would be a problem for her siblings. If you could afford it and would really like to treat her it could be a reward for hard work (then you would not be seen to be going back on the no). have you actually asked her siblings what they feel about it. She may not get the chance to go again for years. But practically speaking, how would it be possible for her to go if they have flights etc already booked. Anyway as I said, only you and the family can really decide this one. Ann Glos

Sounds like you've made up your mind, Jenny. It's up to you but you did ask - yes, I do think you are spoiing her by letting her go. Gwynne x

Sorry, just been on phone for half hour. Thank you for your replies. The main reason we said no a year ago, was because we had a lot of work to do on our house, so did not think we could afford to let her go again. This is not a problem now, we can easily afford for her to go. Grace has never ever mentioned the holiday at all, after we had said no, she accepted our decision without any moaning. I think it is because she is actually down in the Midlands with her Sisters at the moment that the subject has come up again Daughter Number 2, would dearly love Grace to go with them. So rang and asked if there was any way she could go. Grace is totally unaware of all this at the moment. Her second year at College doesnt start until 17th September, so thats not a problem. Perhaps it's me that has the problem. Are we spoiling her, by letting her go? Jenny x

And its a NO from me too,,stick to your guns,,

Hi Jenny I agree with all the no's. My hubby has 3 brothers, all 2 years apart in age and a little sister - 6 years younger than the youngest brother. Whereas the boys had very very little as they grew up because ma-in-law didn't have the money, things were different for little sister. Family circumstances were better and with her being so much younger and the only girl, she had everything money could buy - school trips, riding lessons, ballet lessons ......... To this day, even though they are all now in their 40's and 50's, the boys still cannot resist making jibes about their sister's childhood 'acquisitions!' Bev x

i agree with the others.if you said no once you must stick to your guns I am in a similar situation to you, i had 2 children that i brought up single handed (coz the father didnt want to know) then when they were 10 and 12 i met my husband and we had another child (now 13) because we both work full time we can afford to get things for the youngest that i couldnt afford when my eldest 2 were his age They have never complained about this (only in jest a few times) as they are adults now and understand how hard it was for me to bring them up by myself and they always say that i did my best for them they spoil my youngest just as much as i do but he knows that when i say 'no' i mean just that like someone said in an earlier post if your daughter wanted to go that badly she could have got a part time job and paid for it herself if its not about the money then you must have another and equally valid reason for her not to go and she should understand and respest that you sound like a very loving and caring mother good luck sue c x

If she goes for the first 2 weeks of September, will that mean she will miss the start of her second year at college? I would think that her college education should take priority, particularly at the beginning of a new year. I agree with what has been said. Stick to your guns. Liz :-)

Jenny If you can treat them all the same or if Grace can pay you back then yes,but it's a hard one,I have a problem saying no and yes your only young once,maybe the other's don't mind!!! Softie Ann

To me, doesn't matter if thet are 7 or 17, no means no! Otherwise, next time you say no to something, you might get constant nagging because she thinks you will give in & change your mind! Denise

No, cos its not fair on the others............... Barbara..xx

i would say no too you made a decission 12 months ago and your daughter was ok with it no should mean no especially with such a large amount of money being involved and at such a later date xxLynnxx