General Chat

sunshine sorry to hear your down been there like so many others on here and i found some very good friends who helped me and they will help you aswell Rxxxxx tc

i would also like to thank bryan, who's such a wise man........

Sunshine, I have the same problems as you. PM me if you want to. I'm available to chat/off load on and for mutual support. Viv

just like to say a big thankyou to all who have given me such good advise.i would also like to add that i have read every message on hear..and thank so much for your support also,it's nice to know that people really do care about how you feel,and without your words of comfort to me..i would'nt of had a more positive day like today....love to you all gwyneth

Sunshine I havent read the thread yet am just going too, But first wanted to say [[[[[[[[[[[[[[ hugs}}}}}]]]]]] and your words could be mine, Love cazxxxxxxx

When you feel like this you think you are the only one that does feel like your feeling and that the black cloud your under won't lift,but it will. Hopefully things will get better,but keep talking and sharing your feelings and that will help you.

Just sending you my best wishes and a big hug. When you are feeling down its so nice to know you have friends who will listen to you and help unravel problems so just remember you are not alone. Come back and tell us how you are , have a moan if you need to, Just don't feel alone. We are here for you Chris xx

Oh Gwyn, I have just seen this. I can't think of any useful advice - but see that a lot has been given. Just want you to know I am thinking of you. take care ... :-) Joy

i am not very good at giving advice, i have been in your situation. all i can say is take one day at a time, we are all here for you. if you want to cry, do it, shout- do it, moan - do it, dont keep your emotions bottled up. my marriage broke up about the time we went bankrupt. luckily i was in a council house so the kids and i didnt lose our home. i am now in a resonable job, new relationship (toy boy!) i own the house and my eldest made me a grandmother last year.! things WILL get better, i never thought they would. every night i went to bed hoping that i wouldnt wake up. it was my children that kept me going at the time (and also my friends of course!) people have given you sound advice which is good. take care tina x

I was going to add about the Citizens Advice Bureau. They are good at pointing out what you are entitled to for redundancy payments and can help you know what other help you may be able to get if you do set up on your own. They also have a list of solicitors that give half-hour legal advice sessions for free. Does you house insurance policy have a free legal advice service that you can use? As the children are teenage, try to keep them involved in decisions and be honest with them so that they understand what is happening and won't resent decisions that have to be made. it is not going to be easy, but don't forget there is always someone to talk to either on here or at the CAB or other help organisations. You'll get through it, you were strong enough to come on here and say things were tough and think of all that you need to do. Good luck Claire

Been there and definitely got the T-shirt! You feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel - I know, I've felt like that too. But believe me, life somehow turns things around - it did for me on more than one occasion, just when you least expect it. So don't let it get you down because there is always something good around the corner, believe me. Stella

just wanted to say to you all, thank to those who'v pm'd me with some really good support groups, and most inportantly to those who'v come to this thread,thank you so much for all your kind words.your all an inspiration to people that may feel like i do at the moment.i'm usually a very private person, but i feel so down today' i just hope i feel diferent tomorrow...................... love to you all gwyneth.

Don't usually have an input on lifes problems but somehow Sunshine I feel as though I need to show you some support like the rest of the thread. Been pretty lucky in life myself but I do know that it is important to get a list of priorities to work to - some semblence of order - to show the way. My youngest son has been through the wringer since last September - sure he had the support of Mum and Dad but he has been strong and although not entirely blameless in a domestic situation both my wife and I are proud of him. Take strength from the replies that I have been reading and feed from all the friendship around you. Bless!

Tomorrow Phone your local Citizens Advice Bureau. Make an appointment to discuss your 'practical' problems. Chris

Prioritising your problems is useful, when you've written them down. But it can also be a bit scary at the beginning. My personal preference at the start is to just brainstorm - chuck all the things you need to sort out on a bit of paper or in a wordprocessing doc, in the order they come to you. Then break them up into manageable bits, and maybe pick a few you can solve straight away, without too much trouble - and sort them now so you can tick them off. That gives you confidence. Then of the rest there will be some you can and should solve on your own, and others you need help for, some that are urgent and some that can wait. You cam group them however you like - but it really doesn't matter which way you choose as long as it works for you. Counselling can help you to calm your mind enough to do this and to see the wood for the trees. I hated the thought of it myself but I did it a couple of years ago and it did help. Angela

Hi Sunshine I know what you mean. I have felt like this at times in my life. Things happen for a reason don't they.I always tend to think that the bad times don't go on forever, there is always something else round the corner even if you don't know it yet. Try and stay positive, you have lots of friends on here, and we will always listen. love always catherine xx

sunshine yes i know where you are coming from but ask yourself this (as i did/do) relationship- am i really happy? or is it that this is comfortable and i just dont like change. instead of the end being a sad time, it could well be the start of something far better Work- is being made redundant so bad? would it mean i am destitute, or simply that i will have to curb my lifestyle and though i quite like my lifestyle, i could live without a few things if it meant i was less stressed/happier Teenage children, so they may have to do without a few things that they take for granted, but they could learn from it, we all want to give our kids everything, but sometimes the best thing we can give them is the experience of having to work for the things they really want, rather than going to the Bank of Mum all the time this is what i did, took a long hard look at myself and realised that a lot of what 'i was going through' was simply due to the choices i have made which made me realise i still have choices, and depending on which i choose it may mean me making what i consider sacrifices. it is like Angela said, you have to break it all down into managable chunks and really ask yourself, can i do thi, do i need this, do i want this hope that makes sense Bev

(((((((hugs 4 u))))))))))

sending you a (((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))). I'm afraid I'm the last person who could give you advice but i understand how you feel. I think Angela has given really good advice and the only thing i could add to that is take it slowly and aim for a little acheivement every day (rather than aim for something big and not succeed because it was too much too soon. Good luck Jen

PMd you Sunshine Gerry :-))